Thursday 7 July 2011

Friday Romantic Challenge: Forgiven

He held the world in his hands  
As he crooned the last notes to the sea of nameless faces  
The bright lights swiveled on his slim form
His sweat glistened from his glorious mane
He was the newly crowned prince of the rock world 

Amidst the crowds and adoring fans, he felt powerful 
His mind rocking with the pulse of his raging music
He went into the back room of the stage 
What he saw made his stomach curl and bile rise up
His girlfriend, Diane and band mate entwined limb to limb 

Her face caught in passion’s fury, her luscious lips
Moaning as her lover licked her breasts, his hands
Cupping her legs, bringing her to mindless pleasure
He felt his heart blown into a thousand splinters
The very same lust and hunger that drew him to her
Now disgusted him, and made him remember Dorothea 

Grabbing his most treasured possession, his guitar
He left the concert grounds and drove
Around in circles until  he saw with clarity
His path ……the yellow lines on the road
led straight to a red brick house with a rusty mailbox 

Getting off his gleaming car, he paused to peer at Dorothea's house
Seeing its steadfast points, noting its tranquil lines
His last image of it was slamming the door in anger   
Her, the anchor in his rocky and turbulent musicscape 
What a fool he was to let her slip away!   

He rang the doorbell not knowing what to say
All he knew was that he wanted to grovel at her feet
And beg her to take him back. 
He took a deep breath as the door opened

Dorothea saw his earnest face bathed in the moonlight
It was the boy who gave her roses for her birthday
The awkward teen who tied her prom corsage on her wrists
The young man who composed love songs just for her 
strumming the guitar, and playing with her heartstrings
The rock star who wanted his freedom.

Kneeling down, he took his guitar, the soul of his music  
And placed it at her bare feet, his eyes shut tight
Bracing himself for her sharp words and blows
Instead he felt her gentle hands on his hair weaving like the wind
Her hands drew him close unto her breasts
Like a prodigal lover, he wept in her arms
Forgiven, he held the world in his hands.   


Author's Note:   This story is for Romantic Friday Challenge:  Forgiven.   The challenge is to write 300-400 words with the theme or word Forgiven.   Do check out the others participating this week.

The story is based loosely on a rock star's love life.   After catching the woman with his band mate, he went back to his high school sweetheart to “grovel at her feet”.   They got married soon after and until now, are still making beautiful music together.   


  1. I love the way you tell a story in such a rhythmic manner..:)
    Though i got a little confused between the two girls,but the p.s helped me understand this better.
    A really nice post,well done:)

  2. nice...i am glad she gave him such did get a little stckiy with the 'hers'...may want to look at a way to identify them a bit better...i like the tale though...ugh on the betrayal...i probably would have had other uses for the guitar and been calling the HS sweet heart from

  3. Thanks for the inputs. I edited it a bit so the two girls are clearly identified.

  4. Betrayal...who needs it?

    I wonder how long he was gone that he had the courage to go back begging at Dorothea's door?

    I do like how he was earnest at the end though. Thank goodness for forgiveness!

    Nicely done.

  5. A nice write. Shows how these people that come to sudden fame sometimes loose their sense of reality and those things they hold most dear.
    Thanks for sharing and thanks for visiting me, too.

  6. Yeah reality can be lost for sure, when brights lights are in store, blinded by such things, falling for all the pretty blings.

    You always write such intriguing tales, another nicely done!

  7. Forgiven, he held the world in his hands.
    Love those lines.
    Nicely done!


  8. Yes, I'm reading the edited version; and must say it flows quite smoothly. Wow; heartbreak, betrayal, forgiveness, acceptance; this excerrpt has it all. I'm totally in love with the male character, his betrayal, remorse, and groveling.

    And Dorthea; such a big heart to just accept him back after his transitory love tossed him aside.

    True love knows no time limits, and trusts without judging. Excellent sentiments.


  9. This was riveting. To see the character arc so completely in those stanzas was amazing. My hat is off to poets. Great job.
    Edge of Your Seat Romance

  10. Hi,

    Lovely piece: adored rock star brought to his knees in humility and final understanding of how much betrayal hurts!

    Lordy lordy, does he has some humble pie to consume and, Dorothea's far to good for him. But he knows that! ;)


  11. I've always dug Jon BJ - interesting way to tell the story, both poignant and hot.

  12. Maybe he doesn't deserve her forgiveness, but how wonderful that it was given so willingly. A lovely ending.

  13. glad she forgave him...and sometimes it takes a while to truly discover who the people are we love most..and they make music together now....that's even better...smiles

  14. Thank you for all your lovely comments ~ I appreciate the visit.

  15. Great line - the world in his hands. And I like that this is a cross between poetry and prose!

  16. Heaven, I like. A complete story, in poetic form. You've captured his pain, regret and this week's theme, forgiveness.


Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~