Friday 5 August 2011

Friday Romantic Challenge: Voices

The whispering started on a lazy sunday afternoon
when cleaning their abode, she came across
a stack of letters bunched in an elastic tie in his drawer. 
Curiosity, with righteous pinch of a newly minted wife,
made her take out the tie, and unfold the papers.   

Dusting away her palpitations,
she began reading each letter, then another. 
As the words of love and admiration flowed out,  
she clutched her breast hoping her heart doesn't fall out. 

The voice in her mind grew louder  
torturing her for being a fool,  fool !  stupid !
The letters were from his best friend, 
or was it from a lover's hand? 
Was she deceived or their friendship more than that? 

Fool !  stupid ! blind fool !
She didn’t have the guts to confront him that day
allowing the whispering in her mind
to torment her days and nights
until she became a nervous wreck.    

After their second month wedding anniversary dinner,
she mustered the courage to confront him directly. 
Placing the letters neatly on their bed, she said softly,

"I was cleaning the drawer when I came across these.   
What is this all about? “

"Oh, that.." he grinned.   "Bob is like that; we write 
to each other like we are each other's muse to our writing.   
We exchange ideas, and this is his way of responding to my writing."    

She looked at his earnest face, and nodded her satisfaction.      
It’s fine. You misunderstood the situation.   

"I love you, only you."  He said gently. 

She embraced him, hushing back
the other voices dancing in her mind.  Lies..Lies !.   
He rained kisses on her face and breasts.  
Pushing her to bed, he made love to her fiercely 
and even roughly.  With sweat running down his muscled body, 
he exuded confidence and pride in his manhood.  
He made her forget the letters that night, and nights after that.   

The voices in her head had quieted down to an occasional whimper.
She tried hard not to let the seed of doubt bear fruit
specially when she sees him laughing at Bob's jokes
or just enjoying his best friend's company.  

"Best friend...male bonding." she repeatedly told herself.

For her peace of mind,  she burned the letters with his consent.

Besides, there was no real reason for her to worrry.    

Not yet.   

Author's Note:   This post is for Friday Romantic Challenge - Voices.  Write a story in less than 400 words with voices as the theme.  This story is based on a real life experience.
Missed out last week as I was writing challenges for the poetry communities.  Joining you this week ~


  1. Wow, some good storytelling...sigh

  2. As always great story approach, you have these ones down, nicely done.

  3. fine bit of stroy telling heaven...haunting a bit though as it will always be in the back of her mind...

    have you ever tried writing in the present tense? it would make this all the more active...

  4. Thanks Brian. Will try that in the editing. It is just that it all happened in the past, a long time ago. But will give it a go.

  5. You have woven an evocative, haunting moment of past love. Great job, Roland

  6. Such a complete feeling story in so little space! Good rhythm and timing too. I love this line: " righteous pinch of a newly minted wife." My only critique is the tense isn't consistent.

  7. Once planted the seeds of doubt continue to grow. Very intense writing. Great characters and action, too. Very believeable.

  8. It's great how the story flowed from start to finish, never telling us what to expect, even till the end. A very unpredictable piece, commendable!

  9. She's a lot more forgiving and understanding than my wife would be if she found those letters. the ending...full of intrigue.

    Very nicely done, Heaven.

  10. I really like this, as a story. I know poetry is your chosen form, but I'm not sure the poetry format works for this. It might simply be better as prose, with an occasional verse. Just an idea (possibly a bad one.) :-)

  11. Hi,

    Oh my goodness. Is he busted! I'm probably barking up wrong tree, but hell these guys either have something going down between them or he's a champion liar. Give him the gold cup! ;)


  12. Thanks for your inputs.

    Andy - It might be because she wanted to give her marriage a chance to work.

    Beverly - I try to write in a longer story version but somehow it always comes out like a mixed between the two. Poetry is still my strong form, but I am learning as I go along to write along these lines. Also, reading everyone's stories help me. Thanks for the visit.

  13. I agree with Beverly that this may work better as prose rather than poetry. I read it like prose.
    It's a story.
    The voices... yes, voices can come out of letters. This seems to show how difficult it is to erase suspicion once a seed of doubt is planted.
    Good work!
    Best wishes,
    Anna's Romantic Friday No 13 - 'Voices'

  14. Hi Heaven. Well, it's prose poetry isn't it? Bit of a mixture between both, Doesn't matter, the story is the hero here. Evil woman. Leaving us wondering. This line is truly inspired: ' hoping her heart doesn't fall out.'



  15. once suspicion enters a relationship, i don't think it ever goes away. great ending, Heaven!

    dani ♥

  16. Hmm, I'd be suspicious too. Great voice in this Heaven.


  17. Poignant - and a shame. Those nasty little seeds of doubt can be poisonous. And I can see his side (potentially) as well. Sometimes such things do happen and make us look bad or generate suspicion, and it's really frustrating when you haven't done anything wrong. In real life sometimes you just never know.

  18. Isn't it interesting how the voices in our head can play a prominent role in our lives or can be surpressed to the background.

    A really intriguing piece. Well written.

  19. Yup, those voices don't go away once there's a seed of doubt.

    I noted a couple of places where you changed tenses within the sentence, but other than that nothing jumped out at me.


Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~