Thursday 20 June 2013

What we left on the table




Coffee stains, blackest  
Spiralled, dotted with bread crumbs-  
Fading slow like red roses-


Plates & unsaid words
As morning whirls, spins salt tears
Falling hard, staccato beat -
 


Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Form for All - Hosted by Sam Peralta

Poetry form:   Sedoka - 3 unrhymed lines of 5/7/7 syllables

Picture credit:   Red / Hong Yi Official Site

39 comments:

  1. O nothing is darker than coffee... the bitterness and a solitude in company ot not (that what I read in your poem). Great poem

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  2. ugh... the unsaid words falling hard like staccato beat...tough when the day starts like this..really cool use of images grace..well played on the form as well..

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  3. oy that second one sets this one its head grace....the unsaid words...pretty sure i told you before but those are the words that scare me most....falling hard for sure...like how you pair that with coffee stains in the aftermath...

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  4. somehow i taste a bitter, here, to spin salt tears... have a lovely summer day, too, Grace! ~ M

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  5. Salt tears, plates falling hard... sad.

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  6. Oh, really nice, Grace! "Plates & unsaid words..." Lovely

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  7. We wake to a new day cradling hope in our fingertips & aorta, but too often some trauma, some negative emotion, some sadness stains our day like bitter black coffee down our white shirts; love how you used the form so effectively.

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  8. Great job expressing your emotion in the sedoka.

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  9. You never realise just how much the things that you touch leave a mark on your life, I know that doesn't make too much sense Heaven, but it's just crazy that you can leave a coffee stain on a table and it'll be there and people will see it and interact with it. I don't know the point I'm making but I love this piece of writing Heaven, just beautiful.

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  10. Ouch. I had a feeling as soon as I saw the photo that it might take this direction. So well expressed, though.

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  11. detergent can wash away the stains, tears not so much...

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  12. Grace - moving poem - such intimacy in so few words - loved the fading red roses - wonderful metaphor K

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  13. get the lysol all, lol but yeah weighs heavy indeed

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  14. every word his beautiful and carries meaning. coffee stains, blackest, spiral, spins, plates, unsaid, all. the words beautiful, the image, the feeling, whole.

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  15. A lot left on that table. :)

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  16. I like the falling hard, staccato beat at the end! Very moving poem ... in what is unsaid!Sedoka - A Summer Love Poem

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  17. very strong poem, evocative!

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  18. coffee is good, the rest - just a bad dream...hope...:)

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  19. ...to have a morning of unsaid words is very sad... when silence & absence are the only thing present in the air is def no different on stirring a cup of coffee before a scattered rock - silent & dead... but we tend to rely on cold wars at times so as not to make things even complicated... smiles...

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  20. Strong images combine into a deep melancholy, as dark as the coffee stains, with a staccato undercurrent, like a heartbeat.

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  21. Hmm. Unsaid words can be good when you're truly comfortable with someone, but also negative when there's tension in the air that you can cut with a knife to use a cliche. Staccato beat - a beating heart I assume? Great write. -Mike

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  22. What agreat movement from morning coffee to conflict and despair! great!!!!

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  23. ahhh so much can happen over a cup of coffee..

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  24. Superb attention to the details of the coffee remains - and yet so concise. Fabulous!

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  25. Darn that breakfast table! It records and plays back everything, especially the blues. This is true.
    I love your poem! Happy solstice and weekend.

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  26. wonderful comparison and the pic almost made be want a cup of coffee... which I don't drink... loved the bitterness and words

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  27. The imagery in your words conjures strong emotions. Great capture with this form Grace.

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  28. The only good coffee is hot and steamy. Where the stains settle isn't our problem! ;)Is it warm in here, of is it Grace? I thought so!

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  29. hope something good will happen after the coffee

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  30. Plates and unsaid words....and secret tears. I remember that landscape. So well expressed. Understatement is truly effective.

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  31. Black coffee stains, fading red roses, unsaid words, salt tears--no mistaking the sadness which defines this picture. Very effective use of imagery.

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  32. I can taste the hurt, Grace. Lots of flavors here.

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  33. Intense feelings... so well written!!

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  34. I have a serious thing for coffee, love and relationships. Glad to discover this blog of yours. Will be back.

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  35. Grace! Where were you rushing off to? And the tears all forgotten? Sorry, dear, your poem made me think of all different conclusions, all of them steamy!

    I was at the International Congress of Asian Folklores and met a professor of performing arts from the Philippines- mentioned how my friends from the blogosphere rock the poetry scene. I was talking about you, Kelvin, Arian and yes, Sam!

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