she swallowed her tongue
soft voice, though stuttering
she hid her lies behind the veil
she wiped her crimson nose
hair swept up in a bird's nest
in her finery, she felt her nakedness & shame
oh if only she could, she would
break the silver glass of the caste ceiling
and return the dowry, and bouquet of flowers
the family jewels weighed heavily around her neck
her body was but a debt or maybe a price
a pawn for a rich man but a stranger, sealed her fate
the dragonfly tattoo etched on her back
a reminder that freedom is on the wings
if only she can find the courage
she took a step, haltingly, to open the door
mind wallowed, hands trembled
now.....pushing another step, then another
until she was running along the polished steps
not faltering steps but fleet footed
wanting to fly on the wind's first breath
she stumbled and fell, splitting lips
tongue tasted the blood of freedom
hands touched the dirt on the ground
she pushed herself up to stand
gown soiled and torn at the edges,
she ran, finding her wings at last
Author's note : Generally, in Japan dragonflies are symbols of courage, strength, and happiness.
This post is my heartfelt wish for women who wants freedom and independence. Offered for One Shot Wednesday and Friday Poetically of OSP. Sadly, Brian Miller is hosting this for the last time and will be moving to another community. Thank you Brian for all your hard work in OSP. Fly freely and courageously ~
picture credit: sensuelle92000
Brian freely and courageously..pfft..lol
ReplyDeleteNever knew that fact about the dragonfly, great use of it in your one shot too, courageously played.
wow, very lovely.....
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! Thank you....again.
ReplyDeletei am glad she found the strength to fly when she needed it...i could feel the weight of her ...the trappedness...i have been there and the beautiful and often painful thing that comes with that freedom...
ReplyDeletethanks heaven.
smiles.
A great anthem for the breaking-free life. - Brendan
ReplyDeleteYou are so wonderfully gifted. That was so light and yet so enchanting. I loved it very much!!
ReplyDeleteTaking that first step is always the hardest.
ReplyDeleteVery nice one!
A strong narrative poem, with some lovely touches of intimacy and image. Enjoyed it, Heaven.
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful. Showing the struggle we sometimes have to go through, the knocks the falls before we finally discover that we really can, fly.
ReplyDeleteA very,almost, sensual, lovely read.
Thanks for visitng me. :)
Well done! Lovely imagery in this one.
ReplyDeleteA sad, yet heartening tale told quite well. Lyric in places...
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your tale, ahhh freedom.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful image for wonderful words. I like the symbolism of dragonflies in Japan. Wonderful, indeed.
ReplyDelete"her tongue tasted the blood of freedom
ReplyDeleteher hands touched the dirt on the ground"
i loved the sense of longing all the way through this, that wanting to be free. quite beautiful.
Heaven, this is a wonderful!
ReplyDeleteBravo on your writing!
the descriptions in this poem...
ReplyDeleteoutstanding!
loved it!
p.s. i have the perfect song for this posting too. ;)
First time here, but damn....I loved this poem.
ReplyDeleteIt speaks across cultures....I was 'feeling' the jewelry of arranged marriages in India, the Middle East, and the poem spoke so clearly to the sentiments of these women who are sold in bridal array.
Wonderful, evocative poem, Heaven.
Lady Nyo
and she would' ve never found her wings if she had stayed..and i think it was worth the blood and dirt and the splitting her lips..a tale of braveness nicely told heaven
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I felt a warm rush rise in me as I was reading this one..
ReplyDeleteVery beautifully written!!
And CHEERS to freedom!!
Precisamos acreditar na vida, em tudo quanto nos parece inatingivel! Contudo, precisamos acreditar primeiro em nós próprios!...
ReplyDeleteBeautiful...
Beijos!
AL
Beautiful poem, and in accompaniment, a beautiful image. Quite wonderfully written!
ReplyDeleteMy One Shot ~ A Poetic World
Ahhh!! Finding her wings at last.. such a beautiful imagery... i loved reading it...
ReplyDeleteShashi
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/07/whispers-cuckoos-song-and-smell-of-love.html
Sometimes you need to hit the dirt before you find the courage to fly. Brilliant poem. And I never knew the reference about dragonflies either.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful images... strong message.
ReplyDeleteThis is the type of poetry, i aspire to write
ReplyDeleteThis is captivating, more so because I don't know the full background behind it. I'll comment technically then give you my thoughts on the rest. Please don't take this as criticism; I'm not trying to change your poem, merely offering suggestions.
ReplyDeleteIn the first two stanzas I feel the words 'she' and 'her' appear a bit too frequently, and there's a mix of past and present tense. Both could be addressed as something like,
"she swallowed her tongue
voice soft though stuttering
she hid her lies behind the veil
she wiped her crimson nose
hair swept up in a bird's nest
in her finery, she felt her nakedness and shame"
(if the second stanza appears here as four lines it's only due to the parameters of the comment box).
Third stanza, first line I'd be inclined to write, "was running" instead of "is running".
This is all quite minor. I like the way you've presented this poem, with no capitalization or punctuation. It's striking and I'm eager to try it.
Now to the spirit of this piece. This is a subject dear to my heart Heaven, a woman trapped longing to break free and live her own life (I wrote about this in 'Released', it's a theme I tend to romanticize). Your poem tells a
story that the reader doesn't have to strain to understand. I could picture her quite clearly; a beautiful young woman about to surrender herself to a life of captivity to a man she does not know or love. The ending is
uplifting and made me smile. Favourite lines: "break the silver glass of her caste ceiling" and "wanting to fly on the wind's first breath". Wonderful. And I don't know where you found that picture but it's gorgeous.
That you chose to write about this subject is enough to make me like it, but with the way it's presented I can't help but love this piece.
** Note that I'm calling them stanzas here although technically they don't rhyme.