Tuesday, 5 February 2013

More than yesterday

                                                                  Margaret Bednar                       

You pressed roses on my lips yesterday 
Blooming fragrant, softer than yesterday


My tongue traces your name slowly, deeply  
You are wine, plum sweeter than yesterday


Your music plays in my head, without words
Lifting my wings, stronger than yesterday


My arms hold your peace and words as you sleep
The moon lingers, longer than yesterday


Rain and clouds may dot and dim our sky  
Still I love you better than yesterday
Dance with me until I am old and gray
Weaving colors,  bolder than yesterday


Our limbs entwining, like a bookmarked page,  
Heaven is here, brighter than yesterday 
Poetry Form: Ghazal Sonnet - Ghazals are beautiful poems, originating in Arabic verse from the sixth century, written traditionally about poetically physical or spiritual love, with a melancholic air of separation or longing.    Seven couplets in pentameter with refrain, than yesterday.
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight  - I am hosting today, so drop by starting at 3pm EST ~   Also please check out my collaborative poem with the talented Margaret Bednar at Real Toads ~   
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55 comments:

  1. Brian Miller5 February 2013 at 13:36

    ha love the way you worked in your name...and the double meaning within it as well...to say you love more than yesterday...that each day it grows is a beautiful thing...roses on the lips is a wonderful feel as well...smiles.

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  2. Pat Hatt5 February 2013 at 13:46

    haha caught the name too, pretty sly by you. Having a day better than yesterday is many a way is sure grand, if all were only that way across the land.

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  3. Drenchxoxo5 February 2013 at 14:23

    That was such a beautiful poem. I too loved how you incorporated your name. Makes it perfectly personal.

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  4. ayala5 February 2013 at 14:40

    Our limbs entwining, like a bookmarked page...a gorgeous line among other beautiful lines !

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  5. Mary5 February 2013 at 14:41

    Oh, this is lovely; I especially like "My arms hold your peace and words as you sleep." And I too enjoyed the inclusion of your name.

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  6. Outcast5 February 2013 at 15:03

    I simply adore the ending to this Heaven, love does kind of play a music in your head, love really can set you free in all honesty and makes you feel like you can fly and this poem kind of gives me these vibes which I like.

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  7. Laurie Kolp5 February 2013 at 15:11

    Ahh... so glad you shared this now. It's a gorgeous ghazal, Grace... and I loved your post at dVerse OLN.

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  8. anthonynorth5 February 2013 at 15:19

    Lovely - and with a personal appearance, too.

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  9. Susan Daniels5 February 2013 at 15:27

    This is beautiful, Grace. Still have not attempted one of these.

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  10. Yiota Karioti5 February 2013 at 15:31

    Although i havent experimented with the ghazal form yet, this is done in an honest and wonderful way, I love the power of words. Lovely. Well done.

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  11. Anonymous5 February 2013 at 15:59

    First the bad news, Grace. Unless one of the couplets is invisible, then this is not a sonnet.

    Now the good news - it's a beautiful 6-couplet ghazal and I enjoyed it very much. Poet envy - I just don't seem to be able to get my head round this form.

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    Replies
    1. Scarlet5 February 2013 at 16:04

      Oops, let me edit in a bit ~ Thanks for the note ~ See I should have edited it again before I hit publish ~ Smiles ~

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  12. Myrna R.5 February 2013 at 16:03

    Well, I don't usually pay attention to form. The content to me is what matters, and this is so beautiful. So glad Heaven is brighter than yesterday.

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  13. Anonymous5 February 2013 at 16:12

    of course, what kind of Heaven would it be if it didn't allow for morphing into something ever more heavenly? beautiful poem, Grace

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  14. Unknown5 February 2013 at 16:52

    Lovely Grace. I like that you used the Ghazal Sonnet. The refrain is captivating. Excellent writing.

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  15. Unknown5 February 2013 at 17:26

    I tried a Ghazal once, and it was disastrous, lol. Yours, however, is wonderful. The words drip with passion. I love this part:

    "My tongue traces your name slowly, deeply
    You are wine, plum sweeter than yesterday"

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  16. Rosemary Nissen-Wade5 February 2013 at 17:28

    I think you have done this beautifully. It all feels so natural, which is quite a feat in such a strict form. (I think, however, you are one couplet short of sonnet length. I also think you will have no trouble at all fixing that.) 'Yesterday' is a lovely word for your refrain, and I too admire the way you used your pseudonym.

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  17. DEZMOND5 February 2013 at 17:31

    rose kisses are like Turkish delight..

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  18. Anonymous5 February 2013 at 17:57

    very romantic, just like roses

    epideictic rhetoric

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  19. Mark Kerstetter5 February 2013 at 18:01

    When I was young I hated wine. And when I was young I loved with a different love. Those who have never loved one person for a long time can taste the love you write about here.

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  20. Susan5 February 2013 at 18:25

    Softer, sweeter, stronger, longer, better, brighter! I bet you are, Grace, and love this poem showing blessed love, long love (with you). May it be true for all of the rest of us too. SO beautiful.

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  21. Nicole Sullivan5 February 2013 at 18:30

    beautiful love described in beautiful words. love this form too. thanks for telling us about it.

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  22. Glenn Buttkus5 February 2013 at 19:11

    A smacking new host-with-the-most for dVerse universe & pub, this ghazal is nearly perfect. We all did one recently for form for all. Probably creating within a set of classic parameters stretches us, enriches us; thanks.

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  23. Ann LeFlore5 February 2013 at 19:32

    It is so nice to read your words again. Missed them so much. What a hart felt warm piece. Cheers http://gatelesspassage.com/2013/02/02/reflections/

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  24. Steve King5 February 2013 at 19:36

    This is very nice work within the form. The repetition is hypnotic. Very natural and unforced. Nice work.

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  25. Anonymous5 February 2013 at 19:57

    Your choice of 'than yesterday' for your refrain is masterful! Lovely sensuous poem about the comfort of a long time love!

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  26. mrs mediocrity5 February 2013 at 19:58

    This is so beautiful, so peaceful, so lovely. A song of love.

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  27. DandKblog5 February 2013 at 20:39

    You create a wonderful environment with this one. Cheers!

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  28. Ginny Brannan5 February 2013 at 21:38

    "Our limbs entwining, like a bookmarked page, "
    My favorite line, speaks of kinship, of long time connection, of a deeper, intimate relationship, not just physical but almost conjoined. A deep abiding love. Some "love" poetry to syrupy. I really enjoyed this well-composed piece.

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  29. Anonymous5 February 2013 at 21:50

    This is such a beautiful piece! Very eloquent and filled with emotion. Very nicely done!

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  30. Unknown5 February 2013 at 22:25

    The ghazal is a lovely form and you serve this one up nicely. The devotion expressed is lovely as well.

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  31. Heidi5 February 2013 at 22:38

    I have never read a ghazal before and now I want to try to write one. That's the best way I know to tell you how much I really liked this poem.

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  32. RMP5 February 2013 at 22:47

    I may no know what yesterday held, but you make it and today (and even tomorrow) sound perfectly blissful.

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  33. 1ManView5 February 2013 at 23:29

    Beautiful Ghazal Sonnet Heaven. Like RMP, I 'm going to try one for myself...

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  34. Claudia6 February 2013 at 00:17

    nice...the growing love..roses on the lips and limbs entwining, like a bookmarked page...really well done on the form as well...fits perfect with the romantic theme..lovely..

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  35. Anonymous6 February 2013 at 00:59

    I'm so afraid of forms...but you certainly do it justice here. A beautiful and romantic write!

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  36. Jennifer Wagner6 February 2013 at 01:01

    Beautiful Grace. I got lost in it. Wonderful job with the form.

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  37. Anonymous6 February 2013 at 01:35

    Grace...I do love it...more than yesterday. Great words for repeating. Thanks for hosting this prompt to propel us to be better than yesterday.

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  38. Anonymous6 February 2013 at 02:22

    I think the best refrain is the one you "want" to hear again. You did that.

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  39. Anonymous6 February 2013 at 05:23

    especially love the last stanza, Grace!

    ♥

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  40. Anonymous6 February 2013 at 08:52

    Very romantic ! How nice if a girl can send this to me?

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  41. Dana Dampier6 February 2013 at 11:13

    This gets me in the mood for Valentines Day <3 It's such a beautiful things to love someone more each day...

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  42. Chantel6 February 2013 at 11:31

    Simply lovely. So vivid.

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  43. Mark Butkus6 February 2013 at 12:16

    Wonderful form. Having read it, I am richer than yesterday :)

    Cheers,

    Mark Butkus

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  44. ND Mitchell6 February 2013 at 13:11

    Your refrain makes this so wistful-like the Beatles song. Loved this.

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  45. Dave King6 February 2013 at 13:37

    Definitely the loveliest I've come across so far! Bravo!

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  46. Anonymous6 February 2013 at 13:46

    So well-executed, Grace, with such tenderness and subtle passion.

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  47. Jeff6 February 2013 at 18:59

    You did the form--and yourself--justice with this piece. Well-written, passionate. Heaven is here, brighter than yesterday!

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  48. Ellecee6 February 2013 at 19:25

    Beautiful,,,in form and words,, I particularly like "Dance with me until I am old and gray
    Weaving colors, bolder than yesterday"

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  49. Anonymous6 February 2013 at 20:15

    Nice to see you again on dVerse. I find it a bit hard to keep up with everyone so haven't been to your site in quite awhile. As always your passion comes through in every word. I have only just posted my first time on dVerse.

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  50. Anonymous6 February 2013 at 21:58

    Very endearing poem! I love the image combined with the words.

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  51. Anonymous7 February 2013 at 01:42

    Very nice. I like this a lot.

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  52. scotthastiepoet7 February 2013 at 04:28

    Tender and evocative writing - very well achieved. Have to admit, I havent come across the Ghazal Sonnet form before, so will be checking this out - Thank you... With Best Wishes Scott www.scotthastie.com

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  53. Mystic_Mom7 February 2013 at 14:15

    Amazing write. Just love it. Wow.

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  54. Anonymous8 February 2013 at 15:57

    because we love more with each passing day...beautiful. As always, thank you!

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