Tuesday, 15 January 2013

Naked under the moon






your words are both sweet and silver
flaming my candle wick --  
incandescent and fevered lips --  
perhaps a full moon's trick  
or song 
weaving spells for miles long --
i slip
smaller hands unto yours --
trusting this:  flare, heat and river 
sweeping, flowing like (h)ours-- 
your kisses are like fire and ice
awakening my words
to gentleness, beholding peace
precious like sharpened sword --
i bare
my thoughts, wounds to your care--
i cease
building walls, an island
next to the sea, lofty with a price
but empty, frail as sands   



Posted for OpenLinkNight of D'verse Poets Pub - every Tuesday, starting 3pm EST 
and One Single Impression 
and Wicked Wednesday - Nice to meet you ~
Based on form of  Robert Herrick's poem - To Daffodils - This is my second offering using this format as I was inspired by the terrific responses to my first -  Shaken by your beauty.

 x x x x x x x a                                               Inspirational poem: 
x x x x x b                                                     "All night I have slept with you
x x x x x x x c                                               next to the sea, on the island.  
x x x x x b                                                      Wild and sweet you were between pleasure and sleep,
x d                                                                     between fire and water. "  
x x x x x d                                                      ~ Night on the Island by Pablo Neruda
x c                                                                  
x x x x x e
x x x x x x x a                                             
x x x x x e                                                       
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89 comments:

  1. Pat Hatt15 January 2013 at 08:55

    Like the strength and yet fragile nature you weaved as one, as much sensuality is surely spun. First first with my burst haha have a grand day!

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  2. Brian Miller15 January 2013 at 09:12

    nice....i like the contrast in this...the fire and ice...the precious-ness of the sword....intriguing...giving ones wound over to another as well...takes a lot of trust that...and to tear the wall down....nice write grace

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  3. Unknown15 January 2013 at 09:15

    I like the contrast as well. One moment hot and hard, the next sweet and gentle. Great capture of the prompt.

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  4. DEZMOND15 January 2013 at 09:46

    love the ending with the island and sand... Grace!

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  5. Kerry O'Connor15 January 2013 at 10:53

    This is really beautiful, Grace. This form works for you!

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  6. Myrna R.15 January 2013 at 11:25

    Beautiful. I'm always so impressed with your talent. You chose the best words. This is so loving and romantic.

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    1. Scarlet15 January 2013 at 12:29

      Thank you for the lovely words and visit Myrna ~

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  7. Amrit Sinha15 January 2013 at 12:57

    Beautiful romanticism in your poetry ... loved it :-)

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  8. Claudia15 January 2013 at 12:59

    klimt and neruda are lovely inspirations for sure...and i really like where it took you...the trusting someone enough to cease building walls but rather like an island, open to the water and waves, open for what the other brings..

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    1. Scarlet15 January 2013 at 14:51

      They sure are Claudia ~ I like your interpretation of the island, thank you ~

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  9. Panchali15 January 2013 at 13:42

    It is indeed brilliant. It's all about balance. I suppose if everything was good all the time we'd take it for granted.
    Liked it a lot!

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  10. James Rainsford15 January 2013 at 13:55

    Brilliantly constructed and expressed with authentic emotion.I love the tenderness and evocative imagery. Great job.

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  11. ayala15 January 2013 at 14:36

    Naked under the moon..love the title and the poem! :)

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  12. Laurie Kolp15 January 2013 at 14:58

    So beautiful, Grace!

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  13. Mary15 January 2013 at 15:03

    Grace, you write the most beautiful love poems so often! The first three lines are ones to savor!

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    1. Scarlet15 January 2013 at 18:12

      In this blog, I post mostly love poems Mary ~ Thank you ~

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  14. Wolfsrosebud15 January 2013 at 15:27

    the last line seemed to linger with passion from your piece

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  15. Frank Watson15 January 2013 at 15:45

    Taut, suggestive images, smooth rhythm... lovely... as was the Neruda inspiration

    Nighttime candles
    By the shore
    Enclose the lovers’
    Melted core.

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    1. Scarlet15 January 2013 at 18:13

      Your poetic comment is always appreciated Frank ~

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  16. Jennifer Wagner15 January 2013 at 15:46

    Breathtakingly passionate Grace.

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  17. anthonynorth15 January 2013 at 15:55

    Beautifully done. Great depth.

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  18. blueness15 January 2013 at 16:02

    wow..just beautiful, Grace. the second stanza especially is so passionately moving.

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  19. Alex Dissing15 January 2013 at 16:35

    Loved the wordplay at the end of the first stanza. I had to read this one multiple times to feel it, mostly because there is so much here to feel. Great write, Grace.

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    1. Scarlet15 January 2013 at 18:16

      Thank you Alex ~ Your share made me cry truly ~

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  20. cammies on the floor15 January 2013 at 17:14

    Love the fire and ice juxtaposition. And "thoughts...wounds" is something that spoke to me, that I can relate to, and that you so eloquently described.

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    1. Scarlet15 January 2013 at 18:16

      Nice to meet you ~ Thank you for your lovely words ~

      Delete
  21. colleen15 January 2013 at 17:28

    Flaming my candle wick is quite hot.

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  22. Anonymous15 January 2013 at 17:28

    There is a fierce fragility to this poem that I really enjoyed Grace. "i cease building walls" resonated with me too - taking the risk of allowing someone close was something I found hard to do, but I'm so glad I did.

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    1. Scarlet15 January 2013 at 18:16

      Thank you Tony ~ I appreciate your lovely words ~

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  23. Unknown15 January 2013 at 19:08

    Any time a Klimt image is offered, I get excited! Great choice. And your words speak informedly of the letting go to love, relationship, trust.

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  24. Unknown15 January 2013 at 19:20

    Your first line made my mouth water. Absolutely gorgeous flow and imagery here.

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  25. Anonymous15 January 2013 at 19:36

    castles by the sea dangerous places, as you describe so well! The Klimt is beautiful too. k.

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  26. Anonymous15 January 2013 at 19:59

    Lovely.... starting with the title all the way to the end.

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  27. The Write Girl15 January 2013 at 20:08

    I love the vulnerability and romance throughout. So enchanting!

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  28. mrs mediocrity15 January 2013 at 20:11

    Beautiful... Love opens us up to such vulnerability... You expressed that so well here.

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  29. Anonymous15 January 2013 at 20:11

    Lovely with so many feelings intertwined, strength, fragility and the building, becoming an island...a hefty price indeed.

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  30. Unknown15 January 2013 at 20:32

    I like "(h)ours" great entwining imagery

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  31. Kathy Reed15 January 2013 at 21:09

    ..the vulnerability is overcome by trust and love..would it always be the case...how lovely, Grace ;)

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  32. Marbles in My Pocket15 January 2013 at 21:12

    Awesome write! You set the scene beautifully.

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  33. Anonymous15 January 2013 at 22:11

    ah, i thought it was done to some form... but so seamless & perfect i wasn't sure until i read your note - well done!

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  34. ScottlB15 January 2013 at 22:36

    "To cease building walls" trust is found very good Grace.

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  35. Dana Dampier15 January 2013 at 23:07

    Beautiful weaving of words!

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  36. Sreeja15 January 2013 at 23:38

    I loved reading this... there is a sweet rhythm ... loved your poem...

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  37. Anonymous16 January 2013 at 00:07

    Klimt art is perfect w. this sweetly erotic piece. Lovely!

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  38. Bodhirose16 January 2013 at 00:23

    I love the delicate sweetness of trusting someone with your thoughts and wounds...and your words depict this so tenderly.

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  39. Unknown16 January 2013 at 01:18

    so good. Really great piece, both artistically and the way it flows. Love the line about the sharpened sword and how you followed it up with wounds in the next line, very nicely done. Enjoyed this a lot. Thanks

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  40. kelvin s.m.16 January 2013 at 03:00

    ...Grace...first i really liked the accompanying photo/artwork....it resonates deeply your sentiments here...a very passionate write and i can see your enthusiasm t'wards this wonderful form of R.H.... i will save the format of the form for future considerations... and i hope you don't mind.... excellent Grace... smile...

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  41. Ravenblack16 January 2013 at 03:07

    There is a nice rhythm and flow to this. The giving in to love nicely expressed at the end there. :)

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  42. Unknown16 January 2013 at 03:09

    Gorgeous! I wish I could say more, but my knowledge of poetry is next to nothing. It moved me though, which is the point I guess.

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  43. Unknown16 January 2013 at 03:51

    tight rythme as others have said and a kewl write as always

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  44. Outcast16 January 2013 at 05:46

    This is so good Heaven that I genuinely bookmarked this page so I can read it over and over again. It's so empowering, my favourite thing you've ever written and that's saying a lot.

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  45. Steve King16 January 2013 at 08:21

    Grace, Wonderful use of form...your writing fills it effortlessly, without false notes or forced lines. The last four lines make an outstanding "curtain line." Great emotion and writing there. Nice job.

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  46. All About Love And Sex16 January 2013 at 08:54

    Your poetic phrases give sex a good name ! So sensual, so erotic and yet not sleazy !

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  47. Poppy16 January 2013 at 09:21

    There is a deep inhalation to this of raw, passionate beauty and an even more powerful exhalation of absolute wisdom...wonderful!

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  48. Dave King16 January 2013 at 09:24

    I think you're in danger of making the form your own. Well done again.

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  49. Mary16 January 2013 at 11:02

    your kisses are like fire and ice
    awakening my words
    to gentleness.....these are beautiful words placed perfectly Grace....
    LOVE G. Klimt

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  50. ashok16 January 2013 at 11:17

    awesome talent with words G

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  51. Anonymous16 January 2013 at 11:21

    so romantic!!

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  52. Beth Winter16 January 2013 at 12:46

    Beautiful in form and essence.

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  53. Anonymous16 January 2013 at 13:21

    Whoa...gentle sensuousness. Lovely, lovely, lovely.

    Very moving.

    Jane

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  54. Teresa16 January 2013 at 13:26

    Beautiful piece. I love the contrasts and rich imagery.

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  55. Marie Rebelle16 January 2013 at 13:34

    I love the poem! And welcome to Wicked Wednesday. It's always nice to have new people joining in, especially with such talent :)

    Rebel xox

    PS: Can you please put the Wicked Wednesday button on your post? Thanks :)

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  56. The Linnet16 January 2013 at 15:04

    Really lovely.

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  57. Unknown16 January 2013 at 16:32

    "Frail as sands" wonderful literary phrases, beautiful.
    Rachel x

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  58. Molly16 January 2013 at 17:23

    This is a wonderful poetic piece, you paint a picture of sensual beauty

    Mollyxxx

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  59. jasmine calyx16 January 2013 at 20:26

    Oh my goodness, Grace! This is incredible! I especially love the ending:
    "i cease
    building walls, an island
    next to the sea, lofty with a price
    but empty, frail as sands"

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  60. Anonymous16 January 2013 at 21:26

    A beautiful, sensual poem. There is so much I read into it. These words... I bare my thoughts, wounds to your care... I found especially touching as they reflect the heart of my piece this week.

    Stella

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  61. Jannie Funster16 January 2013 at 23:53

    Is there anything better in life than good poetry like this!?! Except maybe icy and firey things of wonder. I like how your words lock into the form like waves on the island's beach. Cool stuff, all 'round.

    Frail sands may shift and big boulders too but your poetic mind and heart are here to stay, lucky us!

    oxox

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  62. Elsie Amata17 January 2013 at 07:37

    I cease building walls

    My favorite part. It speaks of such trust along with love. Beautiful!!

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  63. Unknown17 January 2013 at 11:06

    A very delicate and sensual poem where the mind lets go to the game of your words. A beautiful poem to be read many times.

    Una poesia molto delicata e sensuale dove la mente si lascia andare al gioco delle tue parole. Una bella poesia da leggere molte volte.

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  64. Anonymous18 January 2013 at 00:53

    Wow! Love this!

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  65. TCPC18 January 2013 at 01:14

    wonderful! to be slowly enveloped and remain!

    Akila

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  66. Ben Ditty18 January 2013 at 03:31

    Beautiful poem. I felt naked and bare to your words.

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  67. Anonymous20 January 2013 at 11:38

    absolutely beautiful

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~

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