Thursday, 3 January 2013

Yours, unwrapped

give me your awkward kisses -
bare of deception & golden bitterroot

give me your whole words -
both innocent & dangerously seeded

your silver chalice & frayed diary -
empty of pretentious grapes & perfect quotes

then I will yield - core, wine & blossoms - 
(blink) unspooling,  i come with awe



~0~0~0~



wrap me - skin 
& words with kisses, soft
as falling snowflakes 


braille my face
with your candle lit fingers -
slowly, i melt



Second Post - D'verse Poets Pub - Form for all  - La Lune (3 lines of 3-5-3 words or 5-3-5 syllabic count)



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75 comments:

  1. Brian Miller3 January 2013 at 08:57

    braille my face...what a cool line that is...and soft as snowflakes....smiles...and in the first, well you have given him proper direction, smiles...ha...hope he follows...the frayed diary is really cool to me as well...

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    1. Scarlet3 January 2013 at 09:14

      Thank you Brian ~ We got snowflakes here ~

      Delete
  2. Kerry O'Connor3 January 2013 at 09:14

    I love the title, first off, and your careful selection and placement of words shows your skill and control as a writer. Very intimate and beautiful poetry.

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  3. Anonymous3 January 2013 at 09:23

    I loved that line too - "braille my face" - it is beautiful. What a wonderfully written poem, Heaven! Have a beautiful day!

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    1. Scarlet3 January 2013 at 09:53

      Thank you Elsie ~ Have a beautiful day too ~

      Delete
  4. Ella3 January 2013 at 09:57

    I love the outlined thoughts and the "braille my face"...
    wondrous poem ;D

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  5. Marian3 January 2013 at 10:02

    (blink) very nice! yum!

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  6. hedgewitch3 January 2013 at 11:23

    'the tedious plea for truth' is a tag I use at my place. Your first section reminded me strongly of what it means to me--that one shouldn't have to ask these things, but unless the demand is made, one is fobbed off constantly with something less, which won't do--in love especially. Nice work, Heaven in both 'forms'(since a word list isn't really a form, but you used it very evocatively.)

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    1. Scarlet3 January 2013 at 18:25

      I am not used to using word lists but this was a fine challenge.

      Thank you Hedge ~

      Delete
  7. Pat Hatt3 January 2013 at 11:40

    Now that is an unwrapping that I would take, uch a wonderful embrace. Hope a good day is had at your pad.

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    1. Scarlet3 January 2013 at 18:25

      Unwrapping but not the snow ~ Thanks Pat ~

      Delete
  8. Outcast3 January 2013 at 11:43

    This is so cute and sensual, I love the way that it builds up and the Braille line is amazing, great post as usual.

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  9. Mary3 January 2013 at 11:56

    Beautifully written, Grace. There is such a soft gentleness to both sets!

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  10. DEZMOND3 January 2013 at 12:48

    hope he gave you what you asked from him, Grace....

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  11. Anonymous3 January 2013 at 12:51

    Hi Grace - braille my face such an interesting verb - you use all the words so well. Lovely love poem(s) though I think they work together. k.

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    1. Scarlet3 January 2013 at 18:27

      Thank you K ~ I think we had one exercise about using nouns as verbs before, with you as a host ~ Happy that you like this ~

      Delete
  12. Myrna R.3 January 2013 at 12:52

    Grace,you somehow manage to combine sensuality with what is at the core of love. And you do it beautifully.

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  13. Helen3 January 2013 at 12:56

    Both poems are incredibly beautiful ... the second works well with this week's Poetry Jam prompt ~ candles!

    Happy New Year

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  14. Hannah3 January 2013 at 13:15

    Your words here, all of them, are wonderful!!

    This struck me:

    "give me your whole words -
    both innocent & dangerously seeded"

    The request that both the worst and best be laid bare.

    Well done, Grace!!

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    1. Scarlet3 January 2013 at 18:28

      Hannah, you picked one of my fav lines ~ Thank you for your thoughtful comments ~

      Delete
  15. Sherry Blue Sky3 January 2013 at 13:30

    Such lovely lines and images..........especially "unspooling, I come with awe".......and "braille my face"....gorgeous writing!

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  16. Kay L. Davies3 January 2013 at 14:17

    Fabulous, Grace. I love "braille my face"!
    K

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  17. Claudia3 January 2013 at 15:08

    braille my face...hmmm...nice...no wonder you're melting...this is lovely..

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  18. Umesh3 January 2013 at 15:20

    Wow! These are awesome ~ snowflake kisses and candle lit fingers!

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    Replies
    1. Scarlet3 January 2013 at 18:29

      Thank you Umesh ~ You should try this form, its lovely ~

      Delete
  19. 1ManView3 January 2013 at 15:28

    Too beautifully written to be so erotic... Too erotic to have such etiquette words woven inside it ...
    Masterpiece ... :)

    In case I missed you, have a great new year ....

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  20. Anonymous3 January 2013 at 15:58

    I'd love to be able to write like this, but somehow I don't seem to have it in me. I loved "kisses, soft as snowflakes" and "braille my body" - the imagery there is so strong and so seductive.

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  21. Anonymous3 January 2013 at 16:01

    Wonderful verses. I especially like the climax to the first poem and the pair of Lunes. i am also in awe. Superb.

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    1. Scarlet3 January 2013 at 18:30

      I have no doubt you can ace this form Matthew ~ Thank you for the lovely words ~

      Delete
  22. Laurie Kolp3 January 2013 at 16:18

    Both are wonderful, Grace. I especially like:

    braille my face
    with your candle lit fingers -
    slowly, i melt

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  23. Frank Watson3 January 2013 at 16:51

    Lovely and passionate set!

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    1. Scarlet3 January 2013 at 18:31

      Thank you Frank ~ I thought you will leave me with a comment/poem too ~

      Delete
  24. Anonymous3 January 2013 at 17:17

    heaven, your poem is a quiet beauty love- 'unspooling, i come in awe.'

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  25. Scarlet3 January 2013 at 18:28

    Thanks Ashok ~

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  26. Jeff3 January 2013 at 18:28

    Very nicely done, the syllable pattern reminds me of passionate breathing--invigorating!

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  27. Anonymous3 January 2013 at 19:14

    That last stanza is pure magic...finishes off a wonderful piece. Just loved it!

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    1. Scarlet3 January 2013 at 19:40

      Thanks Di ~ I am jealous of your beach vacation ~

      Delete
  28. Anonymous3 January 2013 at 19:36

    You know I didn't really understand what you were doing earlier as I had not seen the Lune thing - yours work very well. The falling snowflakes brailling my face is so great. I've been pushing punctuation all day, but you may think of it, as the first time I read through I was thinking of the warm finger tips brailling the face and I got something from that, in the sense of the touch etc., and reading your face, but the snowflakes is such a perfect image that you might want a little comma or semi-colon there to separate the two images - especially since there's the divided stanza. (Just a suggestion from a punctuation freak.) I really love that image though and I confess to misreading it the first time. k.

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    1. Scarlet3 January 2013 at 19:42

      I am leaning how to use punctuation from you K ~ Thanks for the comments and inputs ~

      Delete
  29. RMP3 January 2013 at 19:44

    Yours, unwrapped: awkward kisses and uninhibited words can definitely unravel. lovely.

    Lune #1: love the comparison of kisses falling softly like snowflakes.

    Lune #2: there is definitely something very seductive about the line "braille my face."

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  30. jasmine calyx3 January 2013 at 20:03

    Holy cats, Grace! I hadn't gotten to you on the list from yesterday's Real Toads prompt yet. But wow, that was fantastic! I seriously love it. Whew.

    And this one gave me the best kind of shivers:

    "braille my face
    with your candle lit fingers -
    slowly, i melt"

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  31. Semaphore3 January 2013 at 20:16

    I imagine the pairing of these two as a dialogue between a man and a woman, the first set (couplets) spoken by one and the second set (lunes) spoken by the other. Imagined thus, they reflect each other's breadth and depth of passion. Beautiful.

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  32. Anonymous3 January 2013 at 20:54

    Sensuous and sensitive, I really love this, "i come with awe" !

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  33. Bodhirose3 January 2013 at 21:02

    I love the interaction between the couple...the sensuous exploration and passion. Really beautiful, Grace.

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  34. marousia3 January 2013 at 22:05

    Lovely work

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  35. Susan3 January 2013 at 23:25

    O. Braille me! I too am blind!
    (I had forgot the rest and had to re-read to discover the perfect description of openness to love of other, of self. This/these are my new favorites.)

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  36. Sabio Lantz4 January 2013 at 01:43

    Interesting

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  37. Susie Clevenger4 January 2013 at 02:21

    sensual beauty...i love it!

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  38. Kathy Reed4 January 2013 at 05:58

    let's hear it for the lune form...great emphasis..

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  39. Dave King4 January 2013 at 06:33

    A great two-header this. No preference, though.

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  40. All About Love And Sex4 January 2013 at 08:29

    You're a very poetic and romantic person.

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  41. kelvin s.m.4 January 2013 at 10:19

    ..braille my face... oh Grace i like that and no wonder you had these so easily flowing... it shows your calibre as an expert kuer... adorable.... smiles...

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  42. Anonymous4 January 2013 at 10:56

    'braille my face' Grace, this is gorgeous! (guess it was the favorite of many, reading the comments... heh) marvelous job, so touching!

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  43. Maude Lynn4 January 2013 at 12:59

    Wow! Gorgeous stuff, Grace!

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  44. John (@bookdreamer)4 January 2013 at 15:20

    Sensuous imagery

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  45. Other Mary4 January 2013 at 15:29

    All luscious; I especially like your last lune.

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  46. Unknown5 January 2013 at 00:57

    really nice, I like the last two a lot. Thanks

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  47. my heart's love songs5 January 2013 at 22:33

    always that note of sensuality in your words here, Heaven!

    hope the new year is treating you well!

    ♥

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  48. Brian Miller16 January 2013 at 09:43

    hey FFA tomorrow is:

    http://www.rattle.com/poetry/2012/12/the-resurrection-of-form-in-poetry-by-david-james/

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~

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