Thursday, 3 January 2013

Yours, unwrapped

give me your awkward kisses -
bare of deception & golden bitterroot

give me your whole words -
both innocent & dangerously seeded

your silver chalice & frayed diary -
empty of pretentious grapes & perfect quotes

then I will yield - core, wine & blossoms - 
(blink) unspooling,  i come with awe



~0~0~0~



wrap me - skin 
& words with kisses, soft
as falling snowflakes 


braille my face
with your candle lit fingers -
slowly, i melt





Second Post - D'verse Poets Pub - Form for all  - La Lune (3 lines of 3-5-3 words or 5-3-5 syllabic count)



picture credit:   here

76 comments:

  1. braille my face...what a cool line that is...and soft as snowflakes....smiles...and in the first, well you have given him proper direction, smiles...ha...hope he follows...the frayed diary is really cool to me as well...

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    1. Thank you Brian ~ We got snowflakes here ~

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  2. I love the title, first off, and your careful selection and placement of words shows your skill and control as a writer. Very intimate and beautiful poetry.

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  3. I loved that line too - "braille my face" - it is beautiful. What a wonderfully written poem, Heaven! Have a beautiful day!

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    1. Thank you Elsie ~ Have a beautiful day too ~

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  4. I love the outlined thoughts and the "braille my face"...
    wondrous poem ;D

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    1. (blinks back at you) Thanks Marian ~

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  6. 'the tedious plea for truth' is a tag I use at my place. Your first section reminded me strongly of what it means to me--that one shouldn't have to ask these things, but unless the demand is made, one is fobbed off constantly with something less, which won't do--in love especially. Nice work, Heaven in both 'forms'(since a word list isn't really a form, but you used it very evocatively.)

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    1. I am not used to using word lists but this was a fine challenge.

      Thank you Hedge ~

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  7. Now that is an unwrapping that I would take, uch a wonderful embrace. Hope a good day is had at your pad.

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    1. Unwrapping but not the snow ~ Thanks Pat ~

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  8. This is so cute and sensual, I love the way that it builds up and the Braille line is amazing, great post as usual.

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  9. Beautifully written, Grace. There is such a soft gentleness to both sets!

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  10. hope he gave you what you asked from him, Grace....

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  11. Hi Grace - braille my face such an interesting verb - you use all the words so well. Lovely love poem(s) though I think they work together. k.

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    1. Thank you K ~ I think we had one exercise about using nouns as verbs before, with you as a host ~ Happy that you like this ~

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  12. Grace,you somehow manage to combine sensuality with what is at the core of love. And you do it beautifully.

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  13. Both poems are incredibly beautiful ... the second works well with this week's Poetry Jam prompt ~ candles!

    Happy New Year

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    1. Thank you Helen ~ Happy New Year too ~

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  14. Your words here, all of them, are wonderful!!

    This struck me:

    "give me your whole words -
    both innocent & dangerously seeded"

    The request that both the worst and best be laid bare.

    Well done, Grace!!

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    1. Hannah, you picked one of my fav lines ~ Thank you for your thoughtful comments ~

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  15. Such lovely lines and images..........especially "unspooling, I come with awe".......and "braille my face"....gorgeous writing!

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  16. Fabulous, Grace. I love "braille my face"!
    K

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    1. Thanks Kay ~ I like that part too ~

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  17. braille my face...hmmm...nice...no wonder you're melting...this is lovely..

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  18. Wow! These are awesome ~ snowflake kisses and candle lit fingers!

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    1. Thank you Umesh ~ You should try this form, its lovely ~

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  19. Too beautifully written to be so erotic... Too erotic to have such etiquette words woven inside it ...
    Masterpiece ... :)

    In case I missed you, have a great new year ....

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  20. I'd love to be able to write like this, but somehow I don't seem to have it in me. I loved "kisses, soft as snowflakes" and "braille my body" - the imagery there is so strong and so seductive.

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  21. Wonderful verses. I especially like the climax to the first poem and the pair of Lunes. i am also in awe. Superb.

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    1. I have no doubt you can ace this form Matthew ~ Thank you for the lovely words ~

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  22. Both are wonderful, Grace. I especially like:

    braille my face
    with your candle lit fingers -
    slowly, i melt

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  23. Replies
    1. Thank you Frank ~ I thought you will leave me with a comment/poem too ~

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  24. heaven, your poem is a quiet beauty love- 'unspooling, i come in awe.'

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  25. Very nicely done, the syllable pattern reminds me of passionate breathing--invigorating!

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  26. That last stanza is pure magic...finishes off a wonderful piece. Just loved it!

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    1. Thanks Di ~ I am jealous of your beach vacation ~

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  27. You know I didn't really understand what you were doing earlier as I had not seen the Lune thing - yours work very well. The falling snowflakes brailling my face is so great. I've been pushing punctuation all day, but you may think of it, as the first time I read through I was thinking of the warm finger tips brailling the face and I got something from that, in the sense of the touch etc., and reading your face, but the snowflakes is such a perfect image that you might want a little comma or semi-colon there to separate the two images - especially since there's the divided stanza. (Just a suggestion from a punctuation freak.) I really love that image though and I confess to misreading it the first time. k.

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    1. I am leaning how to use punctuation from you K ~ Thanks for the comments and inputs ~

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  28. Yours, unwrapped: awkward kisses and uninhibited words can definitely unravel. lovely.

    Lune #1: love the comparison of kisses falling softly like snowflakes.

    Lune #2: there is definitely something very seductive about the line "braille my face."

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  29. Holy cats, Grace! I hadn't gotten to you on the list from yesterday's Real Toads prompt yet. But wow, that was fantastic! I seriously love it. Whew.

    And this one gave me the best kind of shivers:

    "braille my face
    with your candle lit fingers -
    slowly, i melt"

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  30. I imagine the pairing of these two as a dialogue between a man and a woman, the first set (couplets) spoken by one and the second set (lunes) spoken by the other. Imagined thus, they reflect each other's breadth and depth of passion. Beautiful.

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  31. Sensuous and sensitive, I really love this, "i come with awe" !

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  32. I love the interaction between the couple...the sensuous exploration and passion. Really beautiful, Grace.

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  33. O. Braille me! I too am blind!
    (I had forgot the rest and had to re-read to discover the perfect description of openness to love of other, of self. This/these are my new favorites.)

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  34. let's hear it for the lune form...great emphasis..

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  35. A great two-header this. No preference, though.

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  36. You're a very poetic and romantic person.

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  37. ..braille my face... oh Grace i like that and no wonder you had these so easily flowing... it shows your calibre as an expert kuer... adorable.... smiles...

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  38. 'braille my face' Grace, this is gorgeous! (guess it was the favorite of many, reading the comments... heh) marvelous job, so touching!

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  39. All luscious; I especially like your last lune.

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  40. really nice, I like the last two a lot. Thanks

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  41. always that note of sensuality in your words here, Heaven!

    hope the new year is treating you well!

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  42. hey FFA tomorrow is:

    http://www.rattle.com/poetry/2012/12/the-resurrection-of-form-in-poetry-by-david-james/

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