Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Tanka: January Sky

is oyster, pearl sheen
cold blown from stiff blue tongue
on my eyelids, granite
ice sculptured from silt & rain

faint clouds hover endlessly




~0~0~0~

your lips are teal, soft
as snowflakes dusting the air
where grey wind hardens
your hands mellow to amber

the sun thrums above spruce trees




Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight - My turn to welcome you at the pub.
& Imaginary Garden for Real Toads - Tanka form - Thanks to Kerry 
Please note that I am having technical issues with my cable but will return your visits shortly. Thanks ~

Picture credit:   Snow Queen by Madebyvadi

82 comments:

  1. Love the teal...for lips better red, but winter...such a snow beauty...'sun thrums' ~ nice tanka

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  2. i like that second one and the move from cold to heat, from hard to soft...
    we are set for a storm today...4-6 inches of snow...off school again, ha
    oy we will be making days up this summer...snow should be starting
    any time now...i am rather excited...smiles.

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    1. I am envious ~ No snow today but wind chill of minus 21C, so very cold ~ Thanks for the visit Brian ~

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  3. Your hands mellow to amber...

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  4. Each tanka is exquisite. I like you innovation of separating the last line - it really emphasizes the upper and lower parts of the poem. You make it look easy, but I appreciate the amount of work that has gone into each line.

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    1. Thank you for lovely series on tanka form Kerry ~ I have learned so much from the notes by Dr. Nakamura ~

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    2. I also like the separation, and each final line is sublime ~

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  5. This is just amazing and it has that midas touch.

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  6. Mellowing out from a hard existence, nice progression indeed. Keep warm and soon comes the snow storm, yuck lol

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    1. Bundled up warm from head to feet ~ Thanks Pat ~

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  7. see - you neither need brush nor color to paint the january sky... perfect images grace...

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    1. Its all grey & greyer, smiles ~ Thanks Claudia ~

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  8. Beautiful...winter is far less dreary with your poetic pen to paint it with beauty

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  9. I love the image of the sun thrumbing above the spruce trees. A warm image to embrace, despite the snowflakes dusting the air!

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    1. Mercifully today the sun is out despite the wind chill ~ Thanks Mary ~

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  10. Oh my - so lovely! You realy warm us through at the end Grace.

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  11. Love the teal lips . . . perfect for a snowy day like today.

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  12. What a wonderful set of tanka... I don't even want to judge between them... but that sky touches me... I can tell we share some views on the sky :-)

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  13. That's a beautiful expression of the cold winter sun..and the human form a frozen one..but
    i am still heated up ..TG..is the total effect of Florida weather..with all that sun..never kools..me it seems..
    but the spell checker likes kooks me better..who knows..
    maybe the spell checker Knows better than..me..:)
    But for now i'll continue to enjoy the Winter SUN....

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  14. Beautiful poem. We see that sky a lot here too.

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  15. You are the tanka princess today, Grace; lovely work, great emotion.

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  16. Oh my, i love every word, i could feel every syllable. fabulous.

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  17. I loved the second tanka. Great imagery... and very well worded.
    -HA

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  18. Though it is not a form I'm comfortable with Grace, your imagery is rich and flawless.>KB

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  19. Your tankas are so appropriate for today's cold, snowy conditions--I feel the cold even more when reading your work. Beautiful.

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  20. tongue, lips, hand...I just appreciate how you fit so much in with your words surrounding all. Intriguing.

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  21. You always paint visual masterpieces with your words. I can see the colors and feel the air in this poem. Wonderful!!

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  22. I enjoyed the gentleness in each piece set against the hardness of winter. Well put.

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  23. cold here too, but ultimately warmth is infused. This was gentle and complex, like a snowflake.

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  24. I wondered, "Whence was stolen these words; "...on my eyelids, granite ice..." A N D "...lips are teal, soft as snowflakes dusting the air..."

    THEN I looked in sidebar to see YOU are in CANADA, where you do not use words like "bitter" and "cold" together. And your words are inpsired by the power of nature--and YOU see raw beauty there, where I would sit in corner and shiver until.....
    Thanks for this Tanka!!!

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  25. I like the mirror contrasts...Especially love "the sun thrums above spruce trees..." in the light of our recent 4 days of heat wave. I shiver at the memory. Beautiful.

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  26. vivid imagery ~ i'm shivering now!

    have a good week, Grace!

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  27. Do you have a Twitter account? There are many fine tanka poets, and haiku poets posting frequently. Yours would be shining examples.

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    1. Yes, I do ~ Thank you for the compliment ~ But I am not into the twitter world & I find that most haiku & tanka that I find are not "true" to the spirit of the Japanese form ~

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  28. Ypur lips are teal - wonderful image and so alive, touching, and cherished

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  29. the sun thrums...is a wonderful line in a very beautiful poem.

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  30. ... pearl sheen, blue tongue, teal lips .... exquisite tanka.

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  31. January sky...is oyster, pearl sheen,
    Excellently captured!
    You have painted some very visual descriptions in these two pieces. I feel the chill to my bones! Enjoyed these very much.

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  32. the chill is so present here
    and here
    and I busy myself dreaming of hot African days to come
    and a happy fare thee well
    to Canadian winters

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  33. Both of these are beautiful...lovely images of a winter sky..

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  34. Fascinating write. Beautifully stimulating to the readers cognitive senses. Lovely.

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  35. Ah,such gentle and potent imagery. Any poem with thrums in it wins!

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  36. What a wonderfully vivid poem! I loved the imagery of the January clouds.

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  37. "your lips are teal, soft / as snowflakes dusting the air"---i especially like these lines... smiles...

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  38. Beautiful frosty images and pleased I am not sharing them:)

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  39. faint clouds do hover endlessly...

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  40. ice sculptured from silt & rain

    You captured the feel of the day. And it went in tandem with the pic. Well written Grace!

    Hank

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  41. Love these wintry poems - very atmospheric! And the lone final line works well.

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  42. loved the contrast between the two tanka, and the images are just exquisite: oyster; granite ice; lips soft as snowflakes...

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  43. Grace,
    I love how you talk about the sky without talking about the sky, if you know what I mean...the colors you use describe winter air so perfectly, yet they aren't the ones most people would use to note what it is they see when looking up. Very artful and skillful. The second verse seems to bring us out of the air and into the personal realm. Though the thrumming sun behind the spruce still leaves me watching from a surreal kind of environ. This is a very interesting composition, one of my favorites of yours.

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    1. Steve, thank you for your thoughtful comments ~ I have learned that in writing tanka poems, one has to choose carefully the words, as if to paint with a light touch, and leaving a lot to the imagination of the reader ~

      My last two lines in each verses are just that exactly, to leave the words "thrumming" in the reader's head ~

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  44. Nice one! beautiful imagry...~jackie~

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  45. great post...I have been writing since forever, but having found this site...will be putting more of my self out there...thanks for the invite!



    http://thesongsofmyheart1.blogspot.com/2014/01/new-horizons.html

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  46. I love 'your hands mellow to amber'!

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  47. After doing chores today I can relate to the teal lips and frozen cold face - and I love this poem. The form, the image and of course your words!

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  48. Great imagery in your tanka! "your lips are teal, soft / as snowflakes dusting the air" - my favorite lines.

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  49. Beautiful images. I especially like the lips like snowflakes. Enjoyed reading this.
    Take care Grace.

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  50. Love your imagery in your write composed with the image. So well done.
    Like always very good reading here.

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  51. I love this, oyster sky, granite lids, thrumming sun and all!

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  52. I don't know how you do it but you get me everytime Grace.I do hope to meet you one day even though we are continents apart. You have a beautiful mind.

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  53. So very many colours in January... there for the seeing, if we pause. Beautiful.

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  54. I haven't figured out how to write good tanka but I love reading them. Both of yours here are beautiful and I especially enjoyed the second one. You always give me a new way to look at how to use language to paint.

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  55. Nice job on tanka form. I can relate to the wintery description. It's gonna be 40 below in Minnesota tomorrow and school has been cancelled for a third time this year due to the frigid temps.

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  56. So much vividness and color to your words...love it.

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  57. Love. Both so light and cold and coloring the skin ice crystals touch.

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  58. You put winter into words... Beautiful descriptions, Grace. :-)

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  59. This makes me close my eyes and imagine everything you've written. :-)

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  60. I hope your cable issues are fixed, Grace. I love the contrasts in your verse. As always, thank you and have a wonderful weekend!

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~