Tuesday 21 January 2014

Tanka: January Sky

is oyster, pearl sheen
cold blown from stiff blue tongue
on my eyelids, granite
ice sculptured from silt & rain

faint clouds hover endlessly




~0~0~0~

your lips are teal, soft
as snowflakes dusting the air
where grey wind hardens
your hands mellow to amber

the sun thrums above spruce trees




Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight - My turn to welcome you at the pub.
& Imaginary Garden for Real Toads - Tanka form - Thanks to Kerry 
Please note that I am having technical issues with my cable but will return your visits shortly. Thanks ~

Picture credit:   Snow Queen by Madebyvadi

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82 comments:

  1. humbird21 January 2014 at 08:44

    Love the teal...for lips better red, but winter...such a snow beauty...'sun thrums' ~ nice tanka

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  2. Brian Miller21 January 2014 at 09:02

    i like that second one and the move from cold to heat, from hard to soft...
    we are set for a storm today...4-6 inches of snow...off school again, ha
    oy we will be making days up this summer...snow should be starting
    any time now...i am rather excited...smiles.

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    1. Scarlet21 January 2014 at 09:52

      I am envious ~ No snow today but wind chill of minus 21C, so very cold ~ Thanks for the visit Brian ~

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  3. DEZMOND21 January 2014 at 09:06

    Your hands mellow to amber...

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  4. Kerry O'Connor21 January 2014 at 09:39

    Each tanka is exquisite. I like you innovation of separating the last line - it really emphasizes the upper and lower parts of the poem. You make it look easy, but I appreciate the amount of work that has gone into each line.

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    1. Scarlet21 January 2014 at 09:54

      Thank you for lovely series on tanka form Kerry ~ I have learned so much from the notes by Dr. Nakamura ~

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    2. Anonymous22 January 2014 at 02:28

      I also like the separation, and each final line is sublime ~

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  5. Vandana Sharma21 January 2014 at 10:21

    This is just amazing and it has that midas touch.

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  6. Pat Hatt21 January 2014 at 10:25

    Mellowing out from a hard existence, nice progression indeed. Keep warm and soon comes the snow storm, yuck lol

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    1. Scarlet21 January 2014 at 11:09

      Bundled up warm from head to feet ~ Thanks Pat ~

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  7. Claudia21 January 2014 at 10:49

    see - you neither need brush nor color to paint the january sky... perfect images grace...

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    1. Scarlet21 January 2014 at 11:09

      Its all grey & greyer, smiles ~ Thanks Claudia ~

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  8. Susie Clevenger21 January 2014 at 11:28

    Beautiful...winter is far less dreary with your poetic pen to paint it with beauty

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  9. Mary21 January 2014 at 12:06

    I love the image of the sun thrumbing above the spruce trees. A warm image to embrace, despite the snowflakes dusting the air!

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    1. Scarlet21 January 2014 at 12:46

      Mercifully today the sun is out despite the wind chill ~ Thanks Mary ~

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  10. Other Mary21 January 2014 at 12:21

    Oh my - so lovely! You realy warm us through at the end Grace.

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  11. Kathryn Dyche21 January 2014 at 13:49

    Love the teal lips . . . perfect for a snowy day like today.

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  12. brudberg21 January 2014 at 14:05

    What a wonderful set of tanka... I don't even want to judge between them... but that sky touches me... I can tell we share some views on the sky :-)

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  13. Katie Mia Frederick21 January 2014 at 15:12

    That's a beautiful expression of the cold winter sun..and the human form a frozen one..but
    i am still heated up ..TG..is the total effect of Florida weather..with all that sun..never kools..me it seems..
    but the spell checker likes kooks me better..who knows..
    maybe the spell checker Knows better than..me..:)
    But for now i'll continue to enjoy the Winter SUN....

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  14. Matthew Quinn21 January 2014 at 15:19

    Beautiful poem. We see that sky a lot here too.

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  15. Glenn Buttkus21 January 2014 at 15:21

    You are the tanka princess today, Grace; lovely work, great emotion.

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  16. mrs mediocrity21 January 2014 at 15:22

    Oh my, i love every word, i could feel every syllable. fabulous.

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  17. Anonymous21 January 2014 at 15:28

    I loved the second tanka. Great imagery... and very well worded.
    -HA

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  18. Anonymous21 January 2014 at 15:33

    Amazingly descriptive and lovely!

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  19. Wolfsrosebud21 January 2014 at 15:35

    so beautiful

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  20. Anonymous21 January 2014 at 15:40

    Though it is not a form I'm comfortable with Grace, your imagery is rich and flawless.>KB

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  21. Liz Rice-Sosne21 January 2014 at 15:44

    Love the use of color (s) here!

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  22. anthonynorth21 January 2014 at 15:48

    Mellowing is good. Great words.

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  23. vb holmes21 January 2014 at 15:50

    Your tankas are so appropriate for today's cold, snowy conditions--I feel the cold even more when reading your work. Beautiful.

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  24. ayala21 January 2014 at 15:54

    Beautiful, I love it all.

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  25. enthusiastically, dawn21 January 2014 at 15:56

    tongue, lips, hand...I just appreciate how you fit so much in with your words surrounding all. Intriguing.

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  26. Anonymous21 January 2014 at 15:56

    You always paint visual masterpieces with your words. I can see the colors and feel the air in this poem. Wonderful!!

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  27. Unknown21 January 2014 at 16:00

    I enjoyed the gentleness in each piece set against the hardness of winter. Well put.

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  28. Anonymous21 January 2014 at 16:05

    cold here too, but ultimately warmth is infused. This was gentle and complex, like a snowflake.

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  29. steveroni21 January 2014 at 16:34

    I wondered, "Whence was stolen these words; "...on my eyelids, granite ice..." A N D "...lips are teal, soft as snowflakes dusting the air..."

    THEN I looked in sidebar to see YOU are in CANADA, where you do not use words like "bitter" and "cold" together. And your words are inpsired by the power of nature--and YOU see raw beauty there, where I would sit in corner and shiver until.....
    Thanks for this Tanka!!!

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  30. Gemma Wiseman21 January 2014 at 16:40

    I like the mirror contrasts...Especially love "the sun thrums above spruce trees..." in the light of our recent 4 days of heat wave. I shiver at the memory. Beautiful.

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  31. Anonymous21 January 2014 at 16:44

    vivid imagery ~ i'm shivering now!

    have a good week, Grace!
    ♥

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  32. Anonymous21 January 2014 at 17:06

    Do you have a Twitter account? There are many fine tanka poets, and haiku poets posting frequently. Yours would be shining examples.

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    1. Scarlet22 January 2014 at 08:24

      Yes, I do ~ Thank you for the compliment ~ But I am not into the twitter world & I find that most haiku & tanka that I find are not "true" to the spirit of the Japanese form ~

      Delete
  33. alan170421 January 2014 at 17:06

    Ypur lips are teal - wonderful image and so alive, touching, and cherished

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  34. Ron Shields21 January 2014 at 17:14

    the sun thrums...is a wonderful line in a very beautiful poem.

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  35. Helen21 January 2014 at 17:47

    ... pearl sheen, blue tongue, teal lips .... exquisite tanka.

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  36. Ginny Brannan21 January 2014 at 18:00

    January sky...is oyster, pearl sheen,
    Excellently captured!
    You have painted some very visual descriptions in these two pieces. I feel the chill to my bones! Enjoyed these very much.

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  37. HisFireFly21 January 2014 at 18:10

    the chill is so present here
    and here
    and I busy myself dreaming of hot African days to come
    and a happy fare thee well
    to Canadian winters

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  38. Truedessa21 January 2014 at 19:08

    Both of these are beautiful...lovely images of a winter sky..

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  39. emmett wheatfall21 January 2014 at 19:44

    Fascinating write. Beautifully stimulating to the readers cognitive senses. Lovely.

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  40. Buddah Moskowitz21 January 2014 at 20:54

    Ah,such gentle and potent imagery. Any poem with thrums in it wins!

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  41. madhumakhi21 January 2014 at 22:17

    What a wonderfully vivid poem! I loved the imagery of the January clouds.

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  42. kelvin s.m.21 January 2014 at 22:29

    "your lips are teal, soft / as snowflakes dusting the air"---i especially like these lines... smiles...

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  43. rallentanda21 January 2014 at 23:14

    Beautiful frosty images and pleased I am not sharing them:)

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  44. ashok21 January 2014 at 23:50

    thats subtle and sweet

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  45. R.B.22 January 2014 at 04:02

    faint clouds do hover endlessly...

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  46. kaykuala22 January 2014 at 05:14

    ice sculptured from silt & rain

    You captured the feel of the day. And it went in tandem with the pic. Well written Grace!

    Hank

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  47. Anonymous22 January 2014 at 06:08

    Love these wintry poems - very atmospheric! And the lone final line works well.

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  48. joanna22 January 2014 at 06:29

    loved the contrast between the two tanka, and the images are just exquisite: oyster; granite ice; lips soft as snowflakes...

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  49. Steve King22 January 2014 at 07:47

    Grace,
    I love how you talk about the sky without talking about the sky, if you know what I mean...the colors you use describe winter air so perfectly, yet they aren't the ones most people would use to note what it is they see when looking up. Very artful and skillful. The second verse seems to bring us out of the air and into the personal realm. Though the thrumming sun behind the spruce still leaves me watching from a surreal kind of environ. This is a very interesting composition, one of my favorites of yours.

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    1. Scarlet22 January 2014 at 08:22

      Steve, thank you for your thoughtful comments ~ I have learned that in writing tanka poems, one has to choose carefully the words, as if to paint with a light touch, and leaving a lot to the imagination of the reader ~

      My last two lines in each verses are just that exactly, to leave the words "thrumming" in the reader's head ~

      Delete
  50. Anonymous22 January 2014 at 07:50

    Nice one! beautiful imagry...~jackie~

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  51. Empty nester at last22 January 2014 at 08:57

    great post...I have been writing since forever, but having found this site...will be putting more of my self out there...thanks for the invite!



    http://thesongsofmyheart1.blogspot.com/2014/01/new-horizons.html

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  52. Anonymous22 January 2014 at 09:44

    looks real icy cool !

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  53. Kathy Reed22 January 2014 at 10:07

    I love 'your hands mellow to amber'!

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  54. Mystic_Mom22 January 2014 at 10:10

    After doing chores today I can relate to the teal lips and frozen cold face - and I love this poem. The form, the image and of course your words!

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  55. Gabriella22 January 2014 at 12:02

    Great imagery in your tanka! "your lips are teal, soft / as snowflakes dusting the air" - my favorite lines.

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  56. Myrna R.22 January 2014 at 12:27

    Beautiful images. I especially like the lips like snowflakes. Enjoyed reading this.
    Take care Grace.

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  57. seasideauthor (Sharon Rose Thomas.)22 January 2014 at 13:08

    Love your imagery in your write composed with the image. So well done.
    Like always very good reading here.

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  58. Jenny Herner22 January 2014 at 13:52

    I love this, oyster sky, granite lids, thrumming sun and all!

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  59. Candi Morrow22 January 2014 at 14:00

    I don't know how you do it but you get me everytime Grace.I do hope to meet you one day even though we are continents apart. You have a beautiful mind.

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  60. Anonymous22 January 2014 at 16:17

    So very many colours in January... there for the seeing, if we pause. Beautiful.

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  61. Lotus22 January 2014 at 20:15

    I haven't figured out how to write good tanka but I love reading them. Both of yours here are beautiful and I especially enjoyed the second one. You always give me a new way to look at how to use language to paint.

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  62. Anonymous22 January 2014 at 23:15

    This is beautiful

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  63. Linda Rogers22 January 2014 at 23:42

    Nice job on tanka form. I can relate to the wintery description. It's gonna be 40 below in Minnesota tomorrow and school has been cancelled for a third time this year due to the frigid temps.

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  64. Abruvanamedsly22 January 2014 at 23:56

    So much vividness and color to your words...love it.

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  65. Susan23 January 2014 at 00:20

    Love. Both so light and cold and coloring the skin ice crystals touch.

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  66. Sreeja23 January 2014 at 08:47

    beautiful and soft.....

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  67. Anonymous23 January 2014 at 23:44

    You put winter into words... Beautiful descriptions, Grace. :-)

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  68. Anonymous24 January 2014 at 01:55

    This makes me close my eyes and imagine everything you've written. :-)

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  69. Anonymous24 January 2014 at 08:56

    I hope your cable issues are fixed, Grace. I love the contrasts in your verse. As always, thank you and have a wonderful weekend!

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~

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