Monday, 28 January 2013

Alibi: I can't say No



I changed the locks
But your key, your key's still working *


Unhinging the door 
Here we go again
Another battle, 
I am too tired to fight , too tired
So I give in to the fever, the fire cutting
My flesh, deeper than  paper cuts 


You cry at night, and ask me for an alibi 
I don't mind helping you, my sister
What I don’t understand is why
When you know damn well what he is doing 
Lying, drinking and raging  - he is Master and you,   

You belong to him, your shirt proudly says,
And so I don’t understand why you are here --
What is the point of leaving him,
When he calls you, you get amnesia & bolt out the door
And you just Can’t Say No…

You cannot see yourself -  your own person: 
Earning your keep & peace 
Taking care of yourself first.  
Not playing with fire.   Not making up excuses.    


If you're asking, I can't say no
Just one more chapter,
Our book won't close
And I know it's madness
To play these odds
It's like giving matches to paper,
To paper dolls*


*Lines and music inspiration from Dessa - Thanks to Marian for introducing her music, Alibi.

  

and D'verse Poets Pub (every Tuesday) - I started listening to the Alibi video (about abusive relationships) but my words gravitated to the Matches to Paper video.   Dessa's vocals are amazing.  Thanks for the visit ~ 

50 comments:

  1. This is wonderful and reminds me how I feel in general when it comes to people. I struggle to let go and move on so to speak which can be bothersome obviously. Despite life being much simpler and content alone I keep on chasing and this is exactly how this fact makes me feel. Love this Heaven.

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    1. We all have our own struggles and challenges Matthew ~ Sometimes we succeed, sometimes we don't. ~ Thanks for the visit ~

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  2. You give a closer look the the tangled relationships when on is abused.

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  3. wow, Grace! this should be written on the walls in women's bathrooms everywhere.

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    1. That would be wonderful thing to do ~ Thanks for the music inspiration Marian ~

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  4. powerful...so heartbreaking the fear and continuous return... chained to the pain... I agree with Marian's comment above.

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    1. Thanks for the lovely words Laura ~

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  5. just the inborn, warm, so genetic feeling of belonging sometimes makes us blind to the real face of the one we belong to...

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    1. An interesting perspective Dezmond ~ I think we all have this instinct to bond or belong to someone or to a group ~ But when there is abuse by one party, it's a choice to stay or not ~ Thanks for the visit ~

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  6. Sadly so true for many...you capture well the story within the story, Grace. Well done!

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  7. An abusive relationship is a chain indeed. Powerful words.

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  8. This is such an important topic, Grace. It needs to be written about. I really like the way you wove three voices throughout the piece: Dessa's lyrics, the first person voice of the one caught in the conflict and the voice of the sister who cannot understand the compulsion to return to the abuser.

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    1. Thanks Kerry ~ The different voices were challenging to write about ~

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  9. Yeah stuck like a noose around ones neck pretty much, until they finally, if ever, decide to take it off and get out of there.

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    1. Stuck in the noose pretty much sums it up ~ Thanks Pat ~

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  10. interesting....it does not sound like your usual voice...which is not bad, just different...ugh i feel for those that find themselves stuck in these relationships....its brutal...and that abuse does get passed down generationally as well....

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    1. I like changing my voice every now and then ~ Smiles ~ And this is what happens when I am listening to a lady rapper music ~

      It is sad that abuse is passed down from parent to children ~ Thanks Brian ~

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  11. Grace, your poem rings so very true to these abusive relationships. So hard to break free even when one knows one should. Well penned.

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  12. It is sad when you deal with someone in this type of relationship no matter how much talking or whatever you can do to help.They seem to run right back and at the same time telling you it will be better this time.

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  13. Hoooooahhhhh!!!! Damn, that is laying down the truth in spades. You really hit a nerve here Girly Q....I love it.

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  14. This hits a personal chord with me. My youngest sister stayed in an abusive marriage and I couldn't understand it. How can you go back to someone who sent you running down your driveway dodging bullets? Thankfully she did. Your words are the honesty that needs to be heard.

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  15. Sounds like another sad sex story.
    One side giving all she can, but not getting what she wants!

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  16. it's a sort of addiction...and usually people don't have the will power to stop it easily as their self-worth is tied to the other person in an unhealthy way...read quite a bit about such stories...co-dependency...happens often even when violence and drinking is involved...it's sad...sensitively penned grace

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  17. I agree with Claudia, it is a kind of addiction.
    Abused women are like abused dogs. They might run away for a while but they're not going to turn themselves in to the SPCA.
    K

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  18. Old habits die hard and some are so afraid to be alone...this is one addiction where the three month rule will never apply...the dance is deadly...

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  19. This is a powerful piece of writing Grace - and the situation you describe is so hard to understand for anyone who ahsn't experienced it themselves.

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  20. My grandmother told my grandfather before they married that if he ever hit her they'd be calling the undertaker...some women I think must have a perverse impulse to be victimized. Perhaps they keep imagining some fantastic make-up scene that carries them to another realm of "love"...

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  21. nothing like the goings back and forth of a dysfunctional relationship

    not alone

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  22. Sometimes it is so hard to sit back and watch them find things out for themselves the hard way.

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  23. A rough situation--too common, unfortunately.

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  24. Sometimes it's not simple or easy to walk away even when you know you should. A good capture, Grace.

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  25. sometimes it takes another to see... sad but only so true

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  26. my wip (novel) is about abuse, match to paper, open to the flames.

    this is so sharp, so hot, so true

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  27. Abuse is two illnesses: one of the abuser, and different one of the abused. Two sicknesses when combined can lead to deathof the mind, the soul...and sometimes the body.

    Have seen this often.
    It hurts every heart which witnesses.

    PEACE, Heaven....

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  28. It's so sad. I worked a lot with abused women. Hard to break that cycle. I like your idea of paper dolls. it fits so well.

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  29. So difficult, it just keeps going--the burn a paper cut/paper dolls ver well done

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  30. Matches to Paperdolls I love so much, if you only knew. A great match with your poem. A scenario I think we all are familair with. A strong personal write with great commentary and strong lines. Very excellente and great taste.

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  31. I guess some people never seem to get the message, or like you point out in this excellent piece, when he calls she gets amnesia.

    Mine’s HERE

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    1. Abuse of another is so bad, I am glad that you are sending
      out this message. It happens also to older persons, M & F.
      ..

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  32. "Just one more chapter" you hear so often turns into another, and another - a tough subject beautifully done

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  33. Excellent and powerful write, Grace! You capture the subject matter perfectly and add your poetic touch beautifully. A sad topic, but presented well.
    My offering this week touches on the other end of the same spectrum: http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2013/01/29/back-in-the-day-3/

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  34. Like picking at a scab...over and over...so that it never heals. Great capture...however painful.

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  35. I know someone (a lawyer that volunteers his time and expertise--imagine!) who works closely with a women's abuse shelter. He estimates it takes seven serious abuse episodes for a woman to finally get up the nerve to leave. Seven! Great poem.

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    1. Seven - that is a lot ~ I think women in these situations hope and hope that it will get better ~ Thanks Nico ~

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  36. ...and no amount of "why?" from those who care does much good. Those that "get away" on their own are few and far between...

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  37. like how you incorporated the lyrics in here, definitely a neat touch. I know the situation very well, had a similar type of experience with a friend, that amnesia line fits him to a tee, but, in the end, knock on wood, even though it's been a few years since the last "split" it seemed to have all worked out, but sacrifice one must make if they are to get involved in such an escapade. Strongly penned Grace. Thanks

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  38. one of your best poems, Grace! i've known women who stayed in abusive relationships and it is complicated and difficult to understand. i think you hit on part of it though, in that the women don't feel they are capable of taking care of themselves.

    thanks for the introduction to Dessa!

    have a lovely weekend!

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~