Monday, 21 January 2013

Aftermath




the night drowned    
blue, silver and black ash
under quartered moon

honey-sipped, the waves 
quickly swelled into a tsunami
drained of salt

bittersweet like grapefruit
sucking tears, words and flesh --
i drifted, swallowed       

dry by sea -- 
shattered shell, deranged of memories 
from your leaving  



Update:  I am pleased to share that this poem will be published by Emerge Literary Journal by Fall (Sept.) 2013. 



Posted for OpenLinkNight of Imaginary Garden with Real Toads (every Monday)
and D'verse Poets Pub  (every Tuesday)

Poetry form:   3-5-3 word Collom lune 

55 comments:

  1. the night the world drowned....

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    1. I love your poetic response Dezzy ~

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  2. This is so so beautiful Heaven. Just love the way this is written, wow.

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  3. lot of emotion just under the surface...particularly the 3rd stanza...but your word choice as well...the tsunami, the night drown, even dry by sea...quite the devastation in leaving...

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    1. Thank you Brian ~ I like it when the form challenges me to choose my words carefully ~

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  4. Loved the use of tsunami too, just fit right in and can be quite the shroud that comes down too.

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  5. "deranged of memories from your leaving" - brilliant, Grace!

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  6. i agree with Brian ~ the sense of devastation is vividly portrayed in your imagery!

    love Rosie Hardy's images, too!

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    1. She is a terrific artist ~ Thanks Dani ~

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  7. Girl. This is incredible. You blow me away every time. You are such an awesome poet. I especially like your opening and closing stanzas, but really it is all amazing.

    I'm going to look up that artist; I love that picture! Your whole blog is so artistic. It's such a pleasure to visit.

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    1. Rosie Hardy is so talented, a muse for your creative talents ~

      Thanks so much for the lovely words dear ~ Much appreciated ~

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  8. ...Ah, your last speaks to me...perhaps because the sea is so close to my heart that it leaves thousands and thousands of memories upon its leaving...like the many shells shattered, scattered by the shore...some voices pain, some voices past....and maybe when Poseidon roars they will find ways or rather hope of safe return deep down the sea...smiles...

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  9. This is wonderful. I agree it's very emotional and moving.

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  10. the night drowning under a quatered moon..such a vividly painted scene..and heavy with emotions as well

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  11. You know how to dig deeply beneath the surface of human emotions, Grace. This is superb.

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  12. must have been some great relationship

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  13. Sounds like me whenever my husband deploys. It's awful, and anxious, and sad, and stretched over time.

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  14. awwww. love the sparseness and the feeling :)

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  15. This is very beautiful. Lots of emotion, lots of great word choice.

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  16. Vivid, conveyed emotion well and left me wondering more

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  17. Beautiful and enchanting in the use of words, you can almost taste the feelings...love it, twitted it :)

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  18. Really beautiful Heaven!! Love the weaving of the words into amazing images.
    -Eva

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  19. A haunting ending here - the last verse resonates for me.

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  20. Goodbye is always accompanied by a wave of emotions. Great imagery in this, Grace.

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  21. Lovely poem. Congrats on joining the team...Nice picture, you are beautiful!

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    1. Thanks so much for the lovely compliments and visit ~

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  22. This is beautiful. It leaves me with such a melancholy feel. I love the way you paint a picture with your words.

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  23. Parting is always a hard thing to deal with, your words expressed the feeling.

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  24. I most appreciate the oceanic references. Nice work, Grace.

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  25. so heartfelt, bittersweet, yes, fabulous imagery... "i drifted, swallowed dry by sea" ... love this

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  26. Your first stanza blew me away. Absolutely beautiful sadness.

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  27. beautiful, image-rich, so rich it almost breaks my heart

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  28. Wow, I doubt I could have described "the leaving" so perfectly, I think I write fairly well at times :) Very good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your voice is always a pleasure. A sweat northern breeze no matter the topic.

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  29. You really painted the scene with the night drowning the ash. The first stanza just flowed out beautifully, and I could feel the sadness of loss throughout. Nice to see you, too :)

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  30. Powerful imagry here, Grace. A beautiful write!

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  31. love the lune, very effectively utilized here. Such a fantastic use of imagery here, vivid to the senses. And the use of color and the tsunami drained of salt- highlights for me. Brilliantly creative write. Thanks

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  32. This is a great example of the three 'C's.' Clear, concise and captivating. Very accomplished.

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  33. This evokes strong emotions, Heaven, and strong imagery.

    Absolutely brilliant.

    Lady Nyo

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  34. Well done. I like this form it is more flowing than the haiku.

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  35. this is waking up to find the phone still glued to your ear; your lover, not on the other end. waiting like he/she should.

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  36. shattered shell... Perfect ending!

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~