Monday, 21 January 2013

Aftermath




the night drowned    
blue, silver and black ash
under quartered moon

 honey-sipped, the waves 
quickly swelled into a tsunami
drained of salt

 bittersweet like grapefruit
sucking tears, words and flesh --
i drifted, swallowed       

dry by sea -- 
shattered shell, deranged of memories 
from your leaving  

Update:  I am pleased to share that this poem will be published by Emerge Literary Journal by Fall (Sept.) 2013. 

Posted for OpenLinkNight of Imaginary Garden with Real Toads (every Monday)
and D'verse Poets Pub  (every Tuesday)

 Poetry form:   3-5-3 word Collom lune 
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55 comments:

  1. DEZMOND21 January 2013 at 19:04

    the night the world drowned....

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  2. Outcast21 January 2013 at 19:16

    This is so so beautiful Heaven. Just love the way this is written, wow.

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  3. Brian Miller21 January 2013 at 20:09

    lot of emotion just under the surface...particularly the 3rd stanza...but your word choice as well...the tsunami, the night drown, even dry by sea...quite the devastation in leaving...

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    1. Scarlet21 January 2013 at 20:32

      Thank you Brian ~ I like it when the form challenges me to choose my words carefully ~

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  4. Pat Hatt21 January 2013 at 20:22

    Loved the use of tsunami too, just fit right in and can be quite the shroud that comes down too.

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  5. Mary21 January 2013 at 20:53

    Just beautiful, Grace!

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  6. Sherry Blue Sky21 January 2013 at 21:00

    "deranged of memories from your leaving" - brilliant, Grace!

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  7. my heart's love songs21 January 2013 at 22:34

    i agree with Brian ~ the sense of devastation is vividly portrayed in your imagery!

    love Rosie Hardy's images, too!

    ♥

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  8. Susie Clevenger21 January 2013 at 23:38

    So lovely Grace...

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  9. jasmine calyx22 January 2013 at 00:34

    Girl. This is incredible. You blow me away every time. You are such an awesome poet. I especially like your opening and closing stanzas, but really it is all amazing.

    I'm going to look up that artist; I love that picture! Your whole blog is so artistic. It's such a pleasure to visit.

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    1. Scarlet22 January 2013 at 20:44

      Rosie Hardy is so talented, a muse for your creative talents ~

      Thanks so much for the lovely words dear ~ Much appreciated ~

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  10. All About Love And Sex22 January 2013 at 07:16

    Why love must be so sad?

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  11. Sreeja22 January 2013 at 10:08

    Perfect!!!

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  12. kelvin s.m.22 January 2013 at 10:23

    ...Ah, your last speaks to me...perhaps because the sea is so close to my heart that it leaves thousands and thousands of memories upon its leaving...like the many shells shattered, scattered by the shore...some voices pain, some voices past....and maybe when Poseidon roars they will find ways or rather hope of safe return deep down the sea...smiles...

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  13. Teresa22 January 2013 at 12:37

    This is wonderful. I agree it's very emotional and moving.

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  14. Claudia22 January 2013 at 13:28

    the night drowning under a quatered moon..such a vividly painted scene..and heavy with emotions as well

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  15. Kerry O'Connor22 January 2013 at 14:02

    You know how to dig deeply beneath the surface of human emotions, Grace. This is superb.

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  16. Wolfsrosebud22 January 2013 at 15:02

    must have been some great relationship

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  17. cammies on the floor22 January 2013 at 15:22

    Sounds like me whenever my husband deploys. It's awful, and anxious, and sad, and stretched over time.

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  18. Marian22 January 2013 at 15:44

    awwww. love the sparseness and the feeling :)

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  19. Rod E. Kok22 January 2013 at 16:13

    This is very beautiful. Lots of emotion, lots of great word choice.

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  20. Anonymous22 January 2013 at 16:21

    beautiful as always, Grace....

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  21. Frank Watson22 January 2013 at 16:23

    Vivid, conveyed emotion well and left me wondering more

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  22. Yiota Karioti22 January 2013 at 16:26

    Beautiful and enchanting in the use of words, you can almost taste the feelings...love it, twitted it :)

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  23. Anonymous22 January 2013 at 16:33

    Really beautiful Heaven!! Love the weaving of the words into amazing images.
    -Eva

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  24. Jennifer Wagner22 January 2013 at 16:37

    Wonderful imagery Grace.

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  25. Anonymous22 January 2013 at 17:01

    A haunting ending here - the last verse resonates for me.

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  26. Alex Dissing22 January 2013 at 17:02

    Goodbye is always accompanied by a wave of emotions. Great imagery in this, Grace.

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  27. ayala22 January 2013 at 17:22

    Lovely poem. Congrats on joining the team...Nice picture, you are beautiful!

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    1. Scarlet22 January 2013 at 20:42

      Thanks so much for the lovely compliments and visit ~

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  28. Myrna R.22 January 2013 at 18:08

    This is beautiful. It leaves me with such a melancholy feel. I love the way you paint a picture with your words.

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  29. ScottlB22 January 2013 at 18:29

    Parting is always a hard thing to deal with, your words expressed the feeling.

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  30. Unknown22 January 2013 at 18:52

    I most appreciate the oceanic references. Nice work, Grace.

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  31. mrs mediocrity22 January 2013 at 19:01

    so heartfelt, bittersweet, yes, fabulous imagery... "i drifted, swallowed dry by sea" ... love this

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  32. Unknown22 January 2013 at 19:09

    Your first stanza blew me away. Absolutely beautiful sadness.

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  33. Anonymous22 January 2013 at 21:54

    beautiful, image-rich, so rich it almost breaks my heart

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  34. henry clemmons22 January 2013 at 22:16

    Wow, I doubt I could have described "the leaving" so perfectly, I think I write fairly well at times :) Very good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your voice is always a pleasure. A sweat northern breeze no matter the topic.

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  35. Unknown22 January 2013 at 22:34

    You really painted the scene with the night drowning the ash. The first stanza just flowed out beautifully, and I could feel the sadness of loss throughout. Nice to see you, too :)

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  36. Anonymous23 January 2013 at 00:47

    Powerful imagry here, Grace. A beautiful write!

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  37. Unknown23 January 2013 at 04:15

    love the lune, very effectively utilized here. Such a fantastic use of imagery here, vivid to the senses. And the use of color and the tsunami drained of salt- highlights for me. Brilliantly creative write. Thanks

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  38. James Rainsford23 January 2013 at 05:37

    This is a great example of the three 'C's.' Clear, concise and captivating. Very accomplished.

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  39. Asobime23 January 2013 at 08:58

    This evokes strong emotions, Heaven, and strong imagery.

    Absolutely brilliant.

    Lady Nyo

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  40. Tigerbrite23 January 2013 at 09:02

    Well done. I like this form it is more flowing than the haiku.

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  41. Elsie Amata23 January 2013 at 12:45

    Heartbreaking.

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  42. Anonymous23 January 2013 at 13:12

    this is waking up to find the phone still glued to your ear; your lover, not on the other end. waiting like he/she should.

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  43. Ben Ditty23 January 2013 at 18:48

    LOVE your imagery!

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  44. Margaret23 January 2013 at 21:05

    shattered shell... Perfect ending!

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  45. just a girl27 January 2013 at 15:45

    colorful. :)

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~

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