I fell
in despair
I professed
my innocence
frailty, though
all lies
irreverent,
i sank
weighed down
stones of hatred
pebbles of envy
in the water
tense, unyielding
pretensions
soul's burdens
i lifted
my face up
casting complications
but simple faith,
floating
casting complications
but simple faith,
floating
letting the sea
of hope,
waves of
forgiveness,
forgiveness,
bring me
to the
shore.
Author's Note: This post is for D'Verse Poets, hosted by Sheila and the prompt is to write a poem with water as our inspiration.
Shared with Poetry United # 60.
Picture credit: http://silent-musings.tumblr.com/
Water, the cleanser of our soul, very refreshing write.
ReplyDeleteAbsolving water, bringing peace to the soul. Very lovely poem.
ReplyDeleteDavid
hope and forgiveness are indeed powerful forces .. very similar to water...
ReplyDeletei love this, Heaven, especially the last verse! an amazing take on the prompt.
ReplyDeletedani ♥
This is very nice; I like your style of writing. Very calm and controlled but also free. Thank you! x
ReplyDeletethis is lovely...the message is beauty itself...hope and forgiveness washing over us making us whole once more...love it.
ReplyDeleteA perfect piece on the healing process... as refreshing as the water that cools us.
ReplyDeleteA finely worded, watery journey through emotion and realization, deftly presented. Enjoyed it much, Heaven.
ReplyDeleteForgiveness is like that... I've never thought about it.
ReplyDeletei float with you. beautiful poem, beautiful picture.
ReplyDeleteFeels like a sensual jouney - tough but redemptive.
ReplyDeleteA tacile feeling to this write - a gentle physicality
great lines
Nice write. Enjoyed the choice of language, and the calming, cleansing that came as a result. Thanks so much for all your support as well! :)
ReplyDeleteWater cleanses so much more than our bodies and you've painted it so well here. In life, we can either chose to sink or swim.
ReplyDeleteLovely.
I never leave here disappointed, Heaven.
ReplyDeleteSuch a cleansing write, if only water could do that each and every night.
ReplyDeleteLove how the water,s forgiveness brings us to the shore. Definitely cleansing and definitely keeps me grounded so to speak. Great one, heaven, thank you
ReplyDeleteI love forgiveness and hope bringing us to shore....
ReplyDeleteThis was full of peace :) Especially,
ReplyDelete"letting the sea
of hope,
waves of
forgiveness,
bring me
to the
shore."
Lovely!
Bravo! Loved thos.
ReplyDeletepebbles of envy
ReplyDeletein the water
tense, unyielding
pretensions
These were my favorite lines in your moving poem.
Very beautiful, Heaven.
ReplyDeleteYour poem gave me a sense of such peace!
Love it!
Margie :)
WoW ! Powerful.
ReplyDeleteSuch a soft blue ephiphany, womblike and free. Yes, yes, yes. -Brendan
ReplyDeleteWater is a powerful metaphor...speaking as someone who was recently baptized...and cleansed.. :)
ReplyDeleteThis is very good. Uplifting...a poem of hope.
ReplyDelete-H
Thank you everyone for the visit and wonderful words. I appreciate it ~
ReplyDeleteLovely write - the last stanza perfectly inspiring. ~ Rose
ReplyDeleteI love the imagery here.
ReplyDeleteI like the simple flow of the poem. It does its work and isn't overwrought.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the hope last verse brings. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful indeed!
ReplyDeletehttp://achu89.blogspot.com/
Lovely fluidity to this.. so apt. A pleasure to reach a cleansing shore...
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me so much of being baptized and the emotions felt afterwards.
ReplyDeleteNicely done, Heaven. Great image too!
I'm here:
Moments In The Sun
Lovely piece, Heaven!
ReplyDeleteI felt the water, the weight. Your lines.
ReplyDeleteYou ended with forgiveness, safety.
That is something I haven't found.
Thank you for sharing. This connected to me in a very direct way.
Wonderful!
I felt the water, the weight. Your lines.
ReplyDeleteYou ended with forgiveness, safety.
That is something I haven't found.
Thank you for sharing. This connected to me in a very direct way.
Wonderful!
Beautiful write about the cleansing power of water. Intriguing image...
ReplyDeleteI love, love your writing Heaven. And as much as I truly enjoy the eroticism of your blog I'm thankful you've diversified in your writing because it gives us a chance to see more of what you're capable of (you'll forgive me, I realize that's poor grammar but it's rather late).
ReplyDeleteI've always been a fan of free verse but I also have to say that much of your poetry is more formal and structured than mine. I appreciate your discipline.
This particular piece has a wonderfully airy feel and a cathartic tone. Being the eternal idealist and dreamer, the ending works well for me. :)
What a lovely write! Liquid, sensual. For someone who professes to be new to this, I would say, you're going to be a star! Well done! More, please.
ReplyDeleteThat was very soothing, to come out of complications and just relax, for hope is righteously our vision for a better tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI like your metaphor, 'sea of 'and 'of forgiveness'. Nice one.
ReplyDeleteI like the truth in this, how a false profession of innocence can drag a person down, and how admitting this - and then letting go, forgiving - can buoy one up. Very nicely done, and the poem has a comforting feel to it.
ReplyDeletelovely imagery Sweet lust...
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThis made me feel like the figure in the picture. Beautiful! Shah - x http://wordsinsync.blogspot.com/2011/08/weekend-creation-blog-hop-plus-poem.html
ReplyDelete