Thursday, 29 September 2011

Closing my eyes



i stood, garbed red
radiant long gown   
bellowing the wind

holding rose bouquet
soft, smooth, delicate in
my calloused hands

gust of cool wind
reminded me
ticking clock, steps

uncertainty in belly,
i threw rose petals,
watching as they floated   
aimlessly on dusty ground  

closing eyes,
i strained to catch      
each pulsing beat
my bosom


Author's Note:  Posted for D'Verse Poets Pub - Meeting the Bar

Meeting the Bar: Critique and Craft – hosted by Emmett Wheatfall - prompt is about writing poetry.  

Poets United:   Thursday Think Tank : Prompt is Red.    For me, color means excitement and anticipation. 

Flash Fiction Friday -Tell a Story in 55 words - for G-Man.


Picture credit:   http://real-nice.tumblr.com/post/10780634411

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43 comments:

  1. Bubba29 September 2011 at 16:43

    FYI - This would also work for today's Poets United Thursday Think Tank Prompt: RED

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  2. Aphrodite29 September 2011 at 17:20

    Hi Heaven! This is a warm tribute to red. I feel like I want to go and get myself a dress :)

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  3. Pat Hatt29 September 2011 at 17:21

    So does that mean you get excited and go through STOP signs too?..hahaha great piece.

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  4. Unknown29 September 2011 at 17:29

    First, I just have to say that you always have amazing pictures on your site, but even without the picture today, you painted a vivid one with your words. This has such a rich and lovely feel to it :)

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  5. Anonymous29 September 2011 at 18:30

    I agree with Lori 100 percent!

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  6. Scarlet29 September 2011 at 18:34

    Thanks for your lovely comments.

    But this is way I write my posts.. listening to my muse every day ~

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  7. Rosemary Nissen-Wade29 September 2011 at 18:42

    Beautiful! And, among other things, a lovely evocation of seeking inspiration.

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  8. Beachanny29 September 2011 at 18:56

    Quite the lady in red. Red and roses represent long lists of symbols. Trust, bravery, blood, country, love, passion, etc. I think many apply to the drive to write. Well done. G.

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  9. seasideauthor29 September 2011 at 19:16

    Love love love this write with the art! Thank you for sharing...

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  10. Brian Miller29 September 2011 at 20:14

    smiles. lovely...throwing rose petals and trying to catch each pulsing beat...yeah thats poetry...smiles.

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  11. Maude Lynn29 September 2011 at 20:24

    Beautiful piece, Heaven!

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  12. Anonymous29 September 2011 at 20:37

    Love the bellowing wind and roses in calloused hands. Your contrasts are strong. This was a pleasure to read.

    Beth

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  13. Lisa29 September 2011 at 20:50

    brian says it best for me.

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  14. 1ManView29 September 2011 at 20:55

    Visual, soft flowing write Heaven...

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  15. G-Man29 September 2011 at 21:21

    Whats in her belly?
    As always you are so descriptive and vivid.
    Loved your 55
    Thanks for playing Heaven, You Rock!
    Have a Kick Ass Week-End

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  16. Daydreamertoo29 September 2011 at 21:28

    Awww sad, it looks as if she has been forgotten

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  17. Mary29 September 2011 at 21:43

    Beautifully written. In fact, 'heavenly.'

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  18. moondustwriter29 September 2011 at 23:04

    Love the way you tied in the red too - wow
    the whole verse is filled with sound

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  19. Claudia30 September 2011 at 00:37

    throwing rose petals and see how they form patterns and lines, catching the pulse..not a bad way to write at all..smiles

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  20. Ella30 September 2011 at 00:47

    I love the passion for life in your poem

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  21. Tashtoo30 September 2011 at 07:30

    The search, the journey to inspiration, the fantastic photo. Enjoyed!

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  22. Laurie Kolp30 September 2011 at 07:41

    Vivid and strong. I really like the ending.

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  23. Steve King30 September 2011 at 08:27

    All dressed up and no place to go!!!

    I find it hard to critique this piece. It's very polished and finished. The stanzas are all purposeful and vivid. Rose petals...dusty ground/ smooth roses in calloused hands... radiant woman...uncertainty... There are many small parts of this that impose a tension within the work. It has real depth beyond being a series of pictures. There is a real sense of waiting, of searching for patterns, including of course, the pattern of the heart. I think this fits the bill for the post. Very nice.

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  24. Brother Ollie30 September 2011 at 08:52

    love all the flashes of red...cool...no wait...hot

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  25. Anonymous30 September 2011 at 10:44

    This flows as beautifully as the billowing skirt.

    Hey, we're both rosy today.

    - Alice

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  26. ayala30 September 2011 at 10:53

    Love this and I love red :)

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  27. void30 September 2011 at 14:11

    simply beautiful! the poem & the photo marry so well! this was a delight! :)

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  28. Ed Pilolla30 September 2011 at 16:20

    strained to catch each pulsing beat. very fine. the art is so strong.

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  29. Dulçe ♥30 September 2011 at 16:50

    feel like wearing red now!

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  30. hedgewitch30 September 2011 at 17:35

    Like the way you used bellowed instead of billowed--made it seem as if the dress was yelling, belling out, and working the wind like a bellows all at once. Neat 55, Heaven.

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  31. Unknown30 September 2011 at 18:15

    vivid and tight! every stanza is powerful! great work

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  32. PattiKen30 September 2011 at 20:07

    Red, with so much feeling. There are some very powerful images here, Heaven.

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  33. Anonymous1 October 2011 at 01:12

    yes, color does mean excitement and anticipation. i can feel it in your poem. ;-)

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  34. Doctor FTSE1 October 2011 at 05:57

    Your 55 poem works very well.

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  35. tinkwelborn1 October 2011 at 09:08

    trying to leave a comment - if this has been entered twice, then I'm sorry.


    Beautifully conjured, imagined, and evoked. The pix is an embellishment. (curious, did you write this poem 'from' the pix; or did you pick the pix after the poem's composition? just wondering about the creation technique here.)
    Many contrasted visuals here: 'soft, smooth, delicate' : 'calloused'; 'gust of cool wind' : 'ticking clock'; the descriptiveness : uncertainty.

    There's 'Feeling' evoked in this poem, though it contrasts with the 'Visuals' (reds, rose, petals, long gown, and 'watching').

    What is she 'watching' go? and replaced with the sensations of feeling? and what is that 'uncertainty'?

    Good poem, full of beauty, mystery, and feeling.
    Thank you for sharing.

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  36. Isadora1 October 2011 at 10:40

    Exquisite, lovely and beautiful.
    Isadora

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  37. Unknown1 October 2011 at 10:44

    I could have seen the image without simply by reading the work. Vivid.

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  38. Maxwell Mead Williams Robinson Barry1 October 2011 at 13:37

    vivid word painting.

    :)

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  39. Scarlet1 October 2011 at 14:58

    Thanks for the lovely comments.

    To tinkwelborn: sometimes I have an idea and I search for the picture and edit it to fit it. Sometimes, I see the picture, and get an idea of what to write. In this case, I use red and rose petals as metaphors to portray the passion and sometimes,sensual thoughts in my writing. The ticking clock represents time, as I don't have the luxury to write all day. And of course, uncertainty always grips me before I hit publish. In the end, it all comes down to what I really feel about my writing...then I hit publish. Thank you!

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  40. Jyoti Mishra2 October 2011 at 01:30

    This made me left with only few word like..
    Beautiful n lovely n WOW
    Killer expressions n one of the best of yours :)

    Loved it !!

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  41. The PostMan2 October 2011 at 08:27

    Brings the song LADY IN RED to mind.

    Beautiful pic, Killer read!

    Regards
    The PostMan
    http://postcardsinthewind.blogspot.com/

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  42. Anonymous2 October 2011 at 10:22

    Thanks, with all this besuty it sure would open some eyes, love the picture, and the poem goes great with it, thank you, much appreciated.
    http://johnewordslinger.wordpress.com

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  43. Steve Isaak3 October 2011 at 16:29

    Good, emotion-laden piece.

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