Thursday, 29 September 2011

Closing my eyes



i stood, garbed red
radiant long gown   
bellowing the wind

holding rose bouquet
soft, smooth, delicate in
my calloused hands

gust of cool wind
reminded me
ticking clock, steps

uncertainty in belly,
i threw rose petals,
watching as they floated   
aimlessly on dusty ground  

closing eyes,
i strained to catch      
each pulsing beat
my bosom


Author's Note:  Posted for D'Verse Poets Pub - Meeting the Bar

Meeting the Bar: Critique and Craft – hosted by Emmett Wheatfall - prompt is about writing poetry.  

Poets United:   Thursday Think Tank : Prompt is Red   For me, color means excitement and anticipation. 

Flash Fiction Friday -Tell a Story in 55 words - for G-Man.



43 comments:

  1. FYI - This would also work for today's Poets United Thursday Think Tank Prompt: RED

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  2. Hi Heaven! This is a warm tribute to red. I feel like I want to go and get myself a dress :)

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  3. So does that mean you get excited and go through STOP signs too?..hahaha great piece.

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  4. First, I just have to say that you always have amazing pictures on your site, but even without the picture today, you painted a vivid one with your words. This has such a rich and lovely feel to it :)

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  5. Thanks for your lovely comments.

    But this is way I write my posts.. listening to my muse every day ~

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  6. Beautiful! And, among other things, a lovely evocation of seeking inspiration.

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  7. Quite the lady in red. Red and roses represent long lists of symbols. Trust, bravery, blood, country, love, passion, etc. I think many apply to the drive to write. Well done. G.

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  8. Love love love this write with the art! Thank you for sharing...

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  9. smiles. lovely...throwing rose petals and trying to catch each pulsing beat...yeah thats poetry...smiles.

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  10. Love the bellowing wind and roses in calloused hands. Your contrasts are strong. This was a pleasure to read.

    Beth

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  11. Visual, soft flowing write Heaven...

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  12. Whats in her belly?
    As always you are so descriptive and vivid.
    Loved your 55
    Thanks for playing Heaven, You Rock!
    Have a Kick Ass Week-End

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  13. Awww sad, it looks as if she has been forgotten

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  14. Beautifully written. In fact, 'heavenly.'

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  15. Love the way you tied in the red too - wow
    the whole verse is filled with sound

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  16. throwing rose petals and see how they form patterns and lines, catching the pulse..not a bad way to write at all..smiles

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  17. I love the passion for life in your poem

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  18. The search, the journey to inspiration, the fantastic photo. Enjoyed!

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  19. Vivid and strong. I really like the ending.

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  20. All dressed up and no place to go!!!

    I find it hard to critique this piece. It's very polished and finished. The stanzas are all purposeful and vivid. Rose petals...dusty ground/ smooth roses in calloused hands... radiant woman...uncertainty... There are many small parts of this that impose a tension within the work. It has real depth beyond being a series of pictures. There is a real sense of waiting, of searching for patterns, including of course, the pattern of the heart. I think this fits the bill for the post. Very nice.

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  21. love all the flashes of red...cool...no wait...hot

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  22. This flows as beautifully as the billowing skirt.

    Hey, we're both rosy today.

    - Alice

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  23. simply beautiful! the poem & the photo marry so well! this was a delight! :)

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  24. strained to catch each pulsing beat. very fine. the art is so strong.

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  25. Like the way you used bellowed instead of billowed--made it seem as if the dress was yelling, belling out, and working the wind like a bellows all at once. Neat 55, Heaven.

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  26. vivid and tight! every stanza is powerful! great work

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  27. Red, with so much feeling. There are some very powerful images here, Heaven.

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  28. yes, color does mean excitement and anticipation. i can feel it in your poem. ;-)

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  29. trying to leave a comment - if this has been entered twice, then I'm sorry.


    Beautifully conjured, imagined, and evoked. The pix is an embellishment. (curious, did you write this poem 'from' the pix; or did you pick the pix after the poem's composition? just wondering about the creation technique here.)
    Many contrasted visuals here: 'soft, smooth, delicate' : 'calloused'; 'gust of cool wind' : 'ticking clock'; the descriptiveness : uncertainty.

    There's 'Feeling' evoked in this poem, though it contrasts with the 'Visuals' (reds, rose, petals, long gown, and 'watching').

    What is she 'watching' go? and replaced with the sensations of feeling? and what is that 'uncertainty'?

    Good poem, full of beauty, mystery, and feeling.
    Thank you for sharing.

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  30. Exquisite, lovely and beautiful.
    Isadora

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  31. I could have seen the image without simply by reading the work. Vivid.

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  32. Thanks for the lovely comments.

    To tinkwelborn: sometimes I have an idea and I search for the picture and edit it to fit it. Sometimes, I see the picture, and get an idea of what to write. In this case, I use red and rose petals as metaphors to portray the passion and sometimes,sensual thoughts in my writing. The ticking clock represents time, as I don't have the luxury to write all day. And of course, uncertainty always grips me before I hit publish. In the end, it all comes down to what I really feel about my writing...then I hit publish. Thank you!

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  33. This made me left with only few word like..
    Beautiful n lovely n WOW
    Killer expressions n one of the best of yours :)

    Loved it !!

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  34. Brings the song LADY IN RED to mind.

    Beautiful pic, Killer read!

    Regards
    The PostMan
    http://postcardsinthewind.blogspot.com/

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  35. Thanks, with all this besuty it sure would open some eyes, love the picture, and the poem goes great with it, thank you, much appreciated.
    http://johnewordslinger.wordpress.com

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