Saturday, 17 September 2011

Crimson red

I counted the stops
until the train station sign
matches scribbled notes on

papers folded, rolled
corners in my brown jacket
bag fidgeting in long ride

as i hear slow chugging sounds
i paint my lips crimson red
anticipation making me sweat
limbs trembling


not missing a step, 
I imagine flying straight 
into your arms


no, I won't miss this stop ~

you have waited 
a long time for me 
to come home






Author's Note:   There are certain areas in my life that are about to change.. and I am excited about it.   Have been planning it for the longest time.

Posted for D'Verse Poets Pub - Poetics - Train, hosted by Claudia.

picture credit:   Thanks Kirsti Marie

32 comments:

  1. trains can speak of change..i like the counting stops and comparing the stations with what is scribbled on the paper until it matches...hopefully the new station you're going to enter is a good one

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  2. nice...i feel that anticipation of arriving..seeing the other...or for you achievingthechanges youhave been planning...you know i wish the best for your changes...

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  3. the anticipation comes through each line my friend...looking forward as the train moves down the track...bravo :)

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  4. people who ride trains everyday don't need to count stops, their body counts the stops for them. if someone has to count the stops, then it's an unfamiliar situation. that was good imagery.

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  5. Hopefully you get to the stop you want and lifes train keeps chugging along, can really feel how you can't wait to get there with this piece.

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  6. wow that was something very passionate.
    Description of anticipation n wait is lovely.

    Nice read !!

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  7. I was right there, waiting (impatiently) in anticipation - and yous topped it at just the right point -- where the reader's imagaintion can now take off.

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  8. An exciting build-up to what's to come... can't wait.

    ~laurie

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  9. Love the feeling of anticipation, of movement--and those lips painted for it, bright red, really say something to me though I barely paint mine at all--a sort of celebration feeling, I guess. Loved it, Heaven.

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  10. Quietly confident and lovely.

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  11. great emotion in this.. I like it very much

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  12. I hope that you get to that stop that'll be the special one so you'll seize riding and counting down for a while... I love this poem.

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  13. I can feel that excitement in your piece. Best wishes to you.

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  14. The anticipation rolls sweetly from those red lips. Loved it.

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  15. glad you are excited about the changes...
    anticipation is a good thing! I can just feel myself checking and rechecking the paper in my pocket, reading over and over again... to be sure it's real. Blessings.

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  16. Very sweet - anticipation and reunion all wrapped in one train ride. Peace, Linda

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  17. This takes me back to my long train ride down the Calabrian coast thirty odd years ago now...to waiting arms, yes. Trains are great for that... excellent and lovely. xxj

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  18. beautifully expressed with subtle sensuality ~ Rose

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  19. Wonderful. I can feel the sweet anticipation in these words!

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  20. I'm so happy for you.Counting the stops in anticipation of meeting someone dear to you can make the journey shorter

    Hank

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  21. Oh girl, I've been there. It's exciting, scary, everything all at once. One minute you think you've got hours and what will you do til then? Then you're there and your heart starts tripping and all you can think about is that person that's meeting you. You're right of course, don't forget to fix the lips!

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  22. I can feel the excitement and anticipation in the air. I am nervious for you :)

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  23. Ah, sweet anticipation. It would appear there are new beginnings for you :)

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  24. Thank you everyone for your kind words. Yes, hopefully it all comes together by next week.

    Thanks for your visit ~

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  25. Whatever happend on a train or has train refences is so cool. This one moves the reader as if on one- how good is that!!!

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  26. I hope your journey home is all you dream it will be. Thank you for sharing your positivity with us.

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  27. anticipation, what a great feeling

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  28. I love the feel of anticipation in this poem, lovely.

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  29. So much longing and drawn out anticipation in this one. I like it, esp how it ends.

    Makes me wonder what is changing in your life. - mosk

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  30. The narrator too has been waiting a long time to go home. The nerves from the anticipation, the moments stretching.

    To author: all the best and hope everything turns out as you have planned. :)

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  31. How very exciting...your poem and the underpinnings that seem to be coming together. :)

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