Like ice wine, sweeter than
Tropical mango and lycee
I became drunk with every
Grape drop, cold crystal on my lips
I didn’t noticed the dark shadow
Knocking at my door at 12:01 am.
He smelled your rage in my hair,
The earth on my olive skin,
Autumn labour of purple feet.
The earth on my olive skin,
Autumn labour of purple feet.
He left in despair, hands empty.
I took my pen, and started writing.
Any soul that drank the nectar of your passion was lifted.
From that water of life he is in a state of elation.
Death came, smelled me, and sensed your fragrance instead.
From then on, death lost all hope of me.
Today is the last day for Few Miles Haiku Challenge I have participated for February. I want to thank my friends who have visited and commented in my other blog. I have completed 29 haiku in 29 days. Thanks for your support and comments.
Posted for Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - OpenLinkNight - Monday and
D'verse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight - every Tuesday at 3pm EST.
Shared with One Single Impression: Muse
picture credit: here
Aren't muses grand? :)
ReplyDeleteCan only imagine whoever inspired this piece must've earned it!
~Soren
smelled your rage in your hair...great touch...some really nice textures in this grace...and contrasts like the ice wine...i like rumi too
ReplyDeletegood stuff, following for more
ReplyDeleteThat's amazing Grace! 29 haiku in as many no. of days! Congrats is in order! Well done!
ReplyDeleteHank
Some great wordplay once more, purple feet, that would just be neat..haha
ReplyDeleteI also love the line "he smelled your rage in my hair" Wow, so beautiful!
ReplyDeleteWonderful imagery, Grace.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this imagery, and I appreciated the process notes. So vivid.
ReplyDeleteI like to think of what you have left out as well as what you have included in this sensuous piece. This is very good writing.
ReplyDeletewonderfully written!
ReplyDeleteGreat poem, kiddo. Appreciated the notes, as well, and good for you completing the haiku challenge!
ReplyDeleteI love food metaphor, and the color purple. ;)
ReplyDeleteSo lovely,
and oh! I love Rumi as well! *same pinch*
So many sensual details in the first three stanzas, then the serious turn. It surprises, the way good writing should. I enjoyed...
ReplyDeleteMixed feelings here, right? :) The many metaphors were pleasant.
ReplyDeleteThere may be a right and wrong as well. I felt sorry for the second fellow although I feel he had been coming for some time now.
..
Luscious imagery you've paintes here with your words.
ReplyDeletenice...ice wine..rage in the hair and earth on olive skin...can smell and feel this..nice...
ReplyDeleteThis is absolutely beautiful. I adore Rumi and you did his lines justice.
ReplyDeleteI also am a Rumi fan. This is fabulously warm and a little dark but tasty.
ReplyDeleteA lovely write.
"He smelled your rage in my hair,"....wow.
ReplyDeleteWonderful! I can so relate to someone's words and mere presence making me drunk.
ReplyDeleteAnd methinks Autumn makes you write very very well in winter's cozy arms.
xo
Something for all my senses. Love this one!
ReplyDeleteA feast for all the senses - smell, taste and touch as well as sight and sound. Thanks for sharing it with me/
ReplyDeleteWonderfully erotic - totally alive. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully alive--this is a feast for the senses-
ReplyDeletebeautiful write.. every line was grand... I loved the earth on your olive skin :)
ReplyDeleteOh man...I hate to say this but I found myself really thirsty for a Route 66 Grape Slushy from Sonic after the first two stanzas..lol..There is some awesome description in this and lust oozing from the pores of the page. The inspiration seems like it was well placed in your hands...terrific.
ReplyDeleteGrace, this is gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteSurreal and haunting! Beautiful work :) You pen with metaphorical elegance :)
ReplyDeleteHeaven, this is a great write. Love how the piece can really be about different things as well as for the muse. Every line is really, really good. Definitely a favorite of mine. Thanks
ReplyDeleteWow, how sensual, yet so simple! I truly loved this.
ReplyDeletethis is the sort of good that i can't wait to read a second and third time.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully done!
ReplyDeleteNo choice but to leave for Him when life is pulsating so wild!
ReplyDeleteVery lively.
it's what we do, take the pen and start writing
ReplyDeletecliffhanger
Love this post. Every word.
ReplyDeleteBeing Canadian, I'm a great fan of ice wine, and I savored every word.
ReplyDeleteAh! Rumi--inspiration into your creativity. How many times have we escaped death? Thank God we remember them, and not only those times we die.
ReplyDeletePeacefully,
Steve
Vision aplenty ... enjoyed :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful words and imagery...delicious! "He smelled your rage in my hair" is a terrific line!
ReplyDeleteLovely write ...thank you so much for sharing x
ReplyDeletelovely, enjoyed how you carried forward from the prompt. ~ Rose
ReplyDeleteabsolutely nice:)
ReplyDeleteThis is clever- and containe many different interpretations. I loved how short and sharp it was. The presence at the door could have been a leaving lover , or death, or imagination, or inspiration even! Really enjoyed how this skipped into gabbing a pen and starting writing- showing powerfully how writing can be an emotional outlet for all sorts of things! At least that's what I got from this- soz for rambling!
ReplyDeletelove the poem of rumi's and yours builds on the seed of his idea. stanza 5 is especially powerful.
ReplyDeleteHe smelled your rage in my hair.... Vivid and vibrant
ReplyDeletegreat imagery...very enjoyable piece.
ReplyDeletethis line grabbed at me for some reason: "Autumn labour of purple feet."
Oh my! I love:
ReplyDeleteHe smelled your rage in my hair,
The earth on my olive skin,
Wonderfully sensual : )
-Eva
Hello again! I’ve given you a Liebster Blog Award. You can visit my blog to see what it’s all about. It’s nice to pass it on, but if you are not into that, it’s ok with me. Just a little something to let you know I appreciate you and your blog.
ReplyDeletehttp://wp.me/p1sxZr-7V
Eva
Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI like the idea of words
or the ideas in them
supplying us with a power
to drive away the darkness …
and on we write.
Oh! how I love this opening:
ReplyDeleteYour words washed over me
Like ice wine, sweeter than
Plum nectar with a tinge of
Tropical mango and lycee
I became drunk with every
Grape drop, cold crystal on my lips
Quite simply, superb.
She seduces us with words, oh how I love it.
ReplyDeleteWonderful words, excellent stuff!
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Love the images you conjure up.
ReplyDeletethis is yummy!
ReplyDeletelove this, Heaven! and appreciate you sharing the poetry of Rumi!
ReplyDelete♥
"I became drunk with every
ReplyDeleteGrape drop, cold crystal on my lips"
Oh! I want to find you a publisher. The quality of work from bloggers never ceases to astound me.