Monday 13 February 2012

You

you are the morning
cup in my hands, warm bread toast
i inhale, eyes closed


~0~0


you are the music
sheet i write my song, frame white
in my darkest night 


~0~0


you are the summer
rain on my skin, blueberries
soft staining pale dew


~0~0


you are the evening 
rest on my bosom, folding
my wings to stillness




Poetry form:    Senryu (3 lines, 17 syllables)
I also wrote a similar senryu poem for The Haiku Challenge - it is here.   


Posted for Imaginary Garden with Real Toads:   OpenLinkNight - Monday -
Sharing a love poem as requested ~
and D'verse Poets Pub- OpenLinkNight- every Tuesday at 3pm EST


Happy hearts day !
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46 comments:

  1. Pat Hatt13 February 2012 at 09:08

    Wonderfully done, being ones everything, like how you described it and used different aspects to tickle the senses.

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  2. Mark Windham13 February 2012 at 10:21

    Beautiful, liked the 'music sheet' the best.

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  3. Abin Chakraborty13 February 2012 at 10:29

    brilliant analogies.kudos!

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  4. Maude Lynn13 February 2012 at 10:32

    This is just a beautiful sensory experience. Wonderful write!

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  5. Mrs.Trellis13 February 2012 at 10:59

    Not quite Caddoc and I, but nice ideas...

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  6. Kerry O'Connor13 February 2012 at 11:12

    Exquisitely written - the things that change and those that remain.

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  7. Brian Miller13 February 2012 at 11:24

    lovely grace...i like the first b/c it is tactile and olfactory...and reading it i say yes...and the song int he second is great because it touches harmony...love touches all the senses for sure...

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  8. hotspicywings@yahoo.com13 February 2012 at 11:31

    love
    you

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  9. Mystic_Mom13 February 2012 at 11:55

    this is a poem for the senses...I thoroughly enjoyed it...nicely done!

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  10. Robert Gibson: PWES Editor13 February 2012 at 12:32

    This is soooo beautiful .... sensual and sensory ... love it!

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  11. Mary13 February 2012 at 14:27

    Sensual and warm! Love it.

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  12. Herotomost13 February 2012 at 17:29

    If this one doesn't fit the bill for this posting...none will. Very smooth and very sexy, great job.

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  13. Sharon Rose13 February 2012 at 19:06

    Beautiful!

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  14. Kay L. Davies13 February 2012 at 19:37

    So lovely. I almost said "I love the first part, and the third, but wait, the second, and the fourth..."
    Senryu—I'll have to add this to my collection of poetic forms. Perfect for declarations of love.
    K

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  15. Matt D13 February 2012 at 20:18

    All beautiful ...

    Inspiring! Thank you.

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  16. Manicddaily13 February 2012 at 21:38

    Sweet lust indeed! K.

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  17. Sherry Blue Sky13 February 2012 at 22:30

    VERY very beautiful. I love the form - succinct, and says it all so beautifully.

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  18. Anonymous13 February 2012 at 22:54

    YOU and your words
    are the reason
    i keep coming back for more.

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  19. Marce13 February 2012 at 23:14

    Beutiful and love the shot, both so sensual

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  20. Gloria Baker14 February 2012 at 10:48

    what nice! I loe this heaven:)
    Happy valentines to you!

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  21. Claudia14 February 2012 at 13:44

    nice...summer rain and blueberry stains...can it get any better? smiles

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  22. steveroni14 February 2012 at 15:25

    YOU...are my everything! Sure like you style(s) week after sweet week!
    PEACE!

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  23. Someone is Special14 February 2012 at 16:02

    Romantic! Music sheet.. Beautiful!

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  24. Daydreamertoo14 February 2012 at 16:46

    Morning, noon and night. Lovely.

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  25. poemblaze14 February 2012 at 16:49

    well done!

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  26. Tashtoo14 February 2012 at 16:59

    a poetic cycle...happy heart day indeed

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  27. Steve King14 February 2012 at 18:01

    Nice, nice metaphors and imagery. So very sensual and engaging. Always an enjoyment to stop at your blog.

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  28. Unknown14 February 2012 at 18:03

    The haikus work so well together, really nice job, really apt for today. Thanks

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  29. Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger14 February 2012 at 18:21

    Beautifully done! Great imagery and sense of the body---


    @AudreyHowitt

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  30. Lisa14 February 2012 at 19:04

    Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.

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  31. kaykuala14 February 2012 at 19:36

    Brilliant take Heaven!

    Hank

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  32. Laurie Kolp14 February 2012 at 19:41

    Beautifully romantic... Happy Valentine's Day!

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  33. Unknown14 February 2012 at 21:39

    I love haiku and how it creates deep silences. Your love and passion the silence and make it sing!

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  34. Crystal14 February 2012 at 21:46

    Romantic and sensuous. Perfect for Valentine's Day.

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  35. Helena White14 February 2012 at 22:00

    ~ Lovely ~ нαρρу ναℓєηтιηє'ѕ ∂αу ♥ нєℓєηα

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  36. Anonymous14 February 2012 at 22:45

    Lovely, lovely...a short and succinct song to love and so beautifully written, Heaven.

    I can hear the music....magical.

    Lady Nyo

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  37. poetrydiary15 February 2012 at 01:09

    These are beautiful. I liked the first one especially - it has many resonances.

    I hope your day was at least as good as your poem.

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  38. Anonymous15 February 2012 at 04:48

    absolutely lovely, Heaven! i especially love the third haiku.
    ♥

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  39. Unknown15 February 2012 at 07:06

    Beautiful ...I think memories need to be shared with the one you love and I get the feel of that from this lovely poem thank you x x

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  40. Unknown15 February 2012 at 08:57

    Just lovely. So restful...and sensual. Love it, as always.

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  41. ashok15 February 2012 at 10:56

    so beautiful...

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  42. Marbles in My Pocket15 February 2012 at 11:09

    Beautiful! I love it!
    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/i-cant-do-this-anymore/

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  43. Chris G.15 February 2012 at 12:23

    A delightfully soothing batch of poems for the heart.

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  44. Shelley Lundquist15 February 2012 at 16:32

    lovely. folding my wings to stillness -love that ending.

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  45. Margaret15 February 2012 at 21:36

    Someone above said this is lust... but it is too softly sweet, to knowing of the person to be lust. This is lovingly expressed...

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  46. Susie Clevenger20 February 2012 at 23:52

    Too me this is beautifully sensual...words of a lover

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