the morning comes in shades of pink and white
lover's touch, you don't want to miss one glance
so long your amber eyes are closed, furled tight
mute to the wind, as the sea and sun dance
on your skin, igniting a voice, perchance
to give wings, vigor clay hands, underfoot
budding slowly, purple plump, like beetroot
you're still wounded, naked, featherless bird
with blue painted lips, but underneath soot
foaming red wine, rising, fire-spirit stirred
.jpg)
~0~0~0~0~
it started slowly
a strand of hair turning indigo
a freckled dot on brown cheek
then
rising rage in splaying colors
flare of hands knifing the canvas
torrent of cursing words in the air
they called her
mujer loca (Spanish, a mad woman)
Zhaghzhagh (Persian, the chattering of teeth from rage)
she was simply
an artist
at work
Notes:
First Post: Real toads - Dizain poetry form :
10 line stanza with Rhyme Scheme: a b a b b c c d c d
Second Post: D'verse poets pub: Logophila
picture credit: here
interesting how often the creative are misunderstood and taken for crazy...and well maybe a few are but...smiles...cool words you introduced me to as well...
ReplyDeletereally like how you build your first piece too...that last stanza is really cool...
Well some artists have been labelled as mad ~
DeleteThank you for the lovely words and visit Brian ~
Goes to the heart of creating...
ReplyDeleteYes its does ~ Thanks John ~
DeleteA beautiful response to the Dizain challenge.
ReplyDeleteI love that there is a Persian word for "the chattering of teeth from rage" — a great word for a language to have.
K
A strange word but fitting for an artist ~ Thanks Kay ~
DeleteLovely. A lot of thought went into this to bring it all together and have it make sense. Love the image but your words are the power in this. Love the use of the Persian and Spanish too :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for Bren for the lovely words and visit ~ I appreciate it ~
DeleteWords I don't know, at least you let the explanation show haha so true too, many have been called a nut, but you know I like crazy haha
ReplyDeleteGorgeous result. Love the knifing the canvas, and the Persian and the Spanish work so beautifully here. .
ReplyDeleteAre there any among writers without claim to "crazy" . . . I think my favorite is that Persian word. I enjoyed both pieces, but I will confess a secret fondness for the crazed artist.
ReplyDelete"then
ReplyDeleterising rage in splaying colors"
I really like that!
I am very impressed. My eyes glazed over when I read the prompt, and you have aced it, not once, but twice. Wowzers! Great work, kiddo!
ReplyDeleteBoy, that is a word we need in English. Your pieces have a visceral immediacy that bring them to life, nicely done!
ReplyDeleteGreat job both with form and prompt. Interesting on both sound and visual level. k.
ReplyDeletethe Persian word is perfect--art is sometimes an act of violence
ReplyDeleteYour Dizain is so well done, Grace. Again, by breaking the single stanza form into three, you have put your own stamp on it. Wonderful choice of rhyming words, which fall neatly into place and the imagery is wonderfully surreal.
ReplyDeleteThanks for rising to the challenge.
Madness is very subjective, the mind is a world only partly explored, and little understood.
ReplyDeleteLove the creative patterns with your layout, underlining your words.
Nicely done, nicely entwined.
ReplyDeleteI like very much the way you have utilised the "alien" words. They certainly do contribute to the whole.
ReplyDeleteYou did it very well Heaven! It conformed to what had been asked by the prompt.The foreign words are in sync!
ReplyDeleteHank
WOW!!!
ReplyDeleteHow much i like the simplicity of "it started slowly/a strand of hair turning indigo/a freckled dot on brown cheek" - the beginning strokes that grow into something extraordinary. A powerful painting your words have spun.
ReplyDelete1 word wow
ReplyDeleteAn amazing write--love it!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful evocation of the artist at work, invoking objective and subjective, centering us in the creative matrix.
ReplyDeletebeware beware her floating hair, her flashing eyes
ReplyDeleteweave a circle round her thrice and close your eyes with holy dread
for she on honeydew hath fed and drunk the milk of paradise.
That's an amazing response ~ Thank you ~
DeleteBrilliant and beautiful, this piece looks to the soul of the artist. I am currently reading "The Night Circus" and this could have been drawn from its pages. Clever.
ReplyDeletelove the colour & vividness of the second poem, the wild anti-form of it... & you just know this mujer loca is ALIVE!
ReplyDeletei just wrote something about colors, and then i come in here and swim in this pool of brightly colored words. love this!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry, Heaven. I just don't get it.
ReplyDeleteIf you are referring to the second post, this is about the artist at work. She is lost in her passionate painting but to others viewing her, she looks like a mad woman ~
DeleteThe second reads like a sensuous dance. Well penned, Heaven.
ReplyDeleteAnd aren't we all, in reds, blues, and greens. Creating from what burns inside.
ReplyDeleteI loved the stanza that began~you're still wounded....blue painted lips.
I felt where she was going.
Rick
I love your use of color in the Dizain. It really makes the poem come alive. Creativity is often mistaken for madness. Indeed, research has shown a link in some regards.
ReplyDeleteOoh, I love this whole section:
ReplyDelete"purple plump, like beetroot you're still wounded, naked, featherless bird with blue painted lips, but underneath soot foaming red wine, rising, fire-spirit stirred"
And this is EXACTLY how it goes:
"it started slowly a strand of hair turning indigo a freckled dot on brown cheek then rising rage in splaying colors flare of hands knifing the canvas torrent of cursing words in the air"
The slow brushes turning to passionate raging fire as you transform the canvas. Bravo, Grace. You nailed the obsessive takeover a painter experiences when she enters her secret "zone." Calling her a mad woman is probably reasonable.
Two great pieces. The rhythm in the first is great--and after spending a day in the garden I laughed to see you work beetroot into the piece--so unexpected! The artist piece hit home as well--so true that visual artists are often seen in such a way. And poets...?
ReplyDeleteamazing images, Heaven, both in the poem and in the illustration!
ReplyDeleteYes great imagery. Love that artist's are often mistaken for crazy when we're in our zone!
ReplyDeleteHi Grace, It amazes me how, from out of a tired bed a flame reignites and drives one up as if a phoenix or a century plant on the one day of life--and so the urgency to impress the canvass on this day that is so blessed. For some this happens 5 to 7 days a week!
ReplyDeleteLovely poem as usually Heaven. Loved the picture and the lines. My favorite " you're still wounded, naked, featherless bird with blue painted lips," and "strand of hair turning indigo a freckled dot on brown cheek" - poetic, artistic and imaginative.
ReplyDeleteWonderful as usual.
great combo of image and verse -
ReplyDelete" you're still wounded, naked, featherless bird
with blue painted lips"
and esp liked,
" it started slowly
a strand of hair turning indigo "
maybe because of the difference from the lines above the image, those latter words really cranked up the suspense and feeling, "slowly" ;-)
nice, thanks heaven!
You're offering us a rich dish, maybe candied peaches or turkish delight. Your format seems perfect as well. I like the controlled form best at present.
ReplyDeleteaprille.me
How come artists often get a bad press? :)
ReplyDeletedivine last verse!
ReplyDelete♥
great poem...you have a real talent
ReplyDeleteNicely done...love your topic and image!!
ReplyDelete