A pin drop of doubt
Settled during the night
The breeze heard its whisper
And carried it to ocean depths,
Where it swelled in blue tide,
Rippling bedposts of our sky
I wake up to find your side cold
In the morning light, and see
Your mud prints going to the shore
The wind roars, gales of
Half-rotten fish tangled in salty nets
What was a blur is now clear:
Unapologetic truth
No fear for the unknown,
Nor indecision, in a moment
Courage comes like a vodka shot
I grab my oil-slicked boots and jacket
My lips are bruised from kisses,
Thighs sore, eyes bloodshot tired
But there is work to be done
The room is shaping to what it is:
Sturdy ship, facing towards the sun
Posted for: Real Toads and D'verse Poets pub - OpenlinkNight - Thanks for the visit ~
An aubade is a morning love song or poem about lovers separating at dawn. It has also been defined as "a song or instrumental composition concerning, accompanying, or evoking daybreak"
picture credit: here
This invokes a familiar 'the morning after' sort of situation - wondering where it'll all lead to. Great write Heaven!
ReplyDeleteHank
Thanks Hank ~ I appreciate your visit ~
DeleteI love the sequence in the first stanza.
ReplyDeleteDropped, heard, carried, swelled.
I guess that's how storms are formed.
Funny, your ship faces the sun
Mine always turn to the storm
And that by choice for whatever reason.
And shouldn't truth be unapologetic? It is what it is beyond what fiction can make it.
A lovely ride, Grace
Rick
The first part came easy to me, the last one I struggled with~
DeleteInteresting perspective, Rick ~ I appreciate your thoughts and visit ~
Lips bruised from kisses, thighs sore... Sexy. Yes truth should never need an apology. I agree with that. Lovely write Grace.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bren ~ I appreciate your visit ~
DeleteThe first lines set this piece of perfectly. Really well done, Grace.
ReplyDeleteThanks MZ ~ I appreciate your lovely words ~
Deletei like your turn back to positive in the end...you set a nice tension with the doubt and rotting fish...which makes for a nice release...sounds like a good night though...smiles.
ReplyDeleteps. have an interview thursday with the school system
Good luck in the upcoming interview, Brian ~
Deletethis whole piece is gorgeous!
ReplyDeletea pin drop of doubt...beautiful words of something real.
Wow, how nice to feel so confident about your relationship! You say so much between the lines, Grace. Her going out to meet him, to work on things together. To build their room, their ship, their sky ... together. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteI love this. A ripple in still water, almost to waken the necessary form of compromise in a lasting relationship. I like the sturdy ship and the unknown and that it is all worth it. I love that the elements sent the whisper back.
ReplyDeleteI love it when breezes carry whispers and sighs....
ReplyDeleteEnrapturing! "Rippling bedposts of our sky" If only the doubt had not dropped in, the morning parting would have been heated and not cold! Sad.
ReplyDelete"Courage comes like a vodka shot" Bravo! ". . . there is work to be done"--but what, but what? Do you go get the fish in and forget about the dream imprinted on lips and thigh? Or do you go after the lover to save the dream you shared? A mystery! Waiting for Part Two!
I do love an aubade and this carries both the sense of loss in the partner's leaving, and contentment in the love shared before departure.
ReplyDeleteTruly stunning! I'm going to be revisiting these words. They take my breath away.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I'd rather stay in bed then get up for the rat race, but I suppose it has to be done, I need a rum shot sometimes maybe though haha
ReplyDeleteYou covered the emotional bases with this one, while honoring the form. Nicely penned.
ReplyDeleteCourage comes like a vodka shot... I like that, although that kind of courage is an illusion to me.
ReplyDeleteIt's brilliant the way you cause the 'pindrop' to create so many deep ripples. There is so much to admire here...it's really a very intense drama set in verse. Very nice job.
ReplyDeleteThe second stanza carries this poem for me - the "mud prints going to the shore" and "the unapologetic truth". So much said with the picture you paint. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteWonderful! At first I was feeling a bit of doubt about the lover leaving... but the end was full of confidence.
ReplyDeleteI like this. I love the twist you give it. Courage wins in the end, and faces truth.
ReplyDeleteThe ending has the push of truth emblazoned and courage to carry on! Beautifully articulated.
ReplyDeleteLips bruised from kisses...thighs sore...you've described the best kind of tired. And the ending blows me away.
ReplyDeleteThis reminded me of the 'brain worms' I used to get when I was I was younger and in more turbulent relationships. I'd wake up in the morning, brain racing, thinking about when and why the relationship would go wrong...then the morning would break and the thoughts would disappear (for a bit at least)- and your great poem reminded me of this
ReplyDeleteEnchanting poem!
ReplyDeletenice touch on the textures like the oil slicked boots and the salty nets
ReplyDeleteThe detail is well-drawn and strong, along with the narrator, and the whole mood is like a cold walk that clears the head. Enjoyed it, Heaven.
ReplyDeleteI like the contrast of contracting (pin drop) and expanding (ocean floor) and the idea of the room as a ship.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful! Very nice!
ReplyDeleteThere is magic here...the passion of love caught beautifully, then juxtaposed with reality. Beautifully done!
ReplyDeletethis made me wonder if there were male silkies. a beautiful and mystical piece.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful aubade! I love the line "courage comes like a shot of vodka."
ReplyDeletefacing a blue dawn, a hope.
ReplyDeletegood to grab the oil-slicked boots and jacket and do the work that has to be done...i like the not giving in to the rot you mention earlier but join the other in the mud and work on it..i like
ReplyDelete"Your side cold" - made me nervous at first..then I kept reading and realized it was the sheets..phew! Great writing! Thank you, Grace!
ReplyDeletefrom the drop of doubt to the resolute self-assertion...wonderful journey of the soul.
ReplyDeleteGrace, this is brilliant and gorgeous. Love it !
ReplyDeleteGrace, I know this may not mean anything to you...but still I felt like passing this award to you :)
ReplyDeletehttp://ashokism.blogspot.in/2012/08/sunshine.html
Thanks Ashok ~ I appreciate the gesture and posted it in my Compliments Page ~
DeleteA fantastic job as always... xx
ReplyDeletegorgeous writing Grace as always.
ReplyDeleteAh, the harsh realities of dawn! It's much worse to arise on a west-facing ship, I fear...
ReplyDeleteBeats getting up to log onto Facebook, though!
Never quite sure where the line was drawn between reality and phantasy - or if there was a line - which is just as it should be.
ReplyDelete....it causes us to feel both the best and worst of such a stormy night ...and possibilities..
ReplyDeleteA fisherman and his lady it sounds like to me, rolling in the sheets of the night and the swells of the day.
ReplyDeleteLove how you swept me away to some place previously unimagined. A mini-movie I'd like to step into deeper.
xoox
Sheer magic! How do you do it? X
ReplyDelete