Monday 30 July 2012

Aubade






A  pin drop of doubt
Settled during the night
The breeze heard its whisper
And carried it to ocean depths,
Where it swelled in blue tide,
Rippling bedposts of our sky 


I wake up to find your side cold
In the morning light, and see 
Your mud prints going to the shore 
The wind roars, gales of   
Half-rotten fish tangled in salty nets  
What was a blur is now clear: 
Unapologetic truth


No fear for the unknown,
Nor indecision, in a moment 
Courage comes like a vodka shot  
I grab my oil-slicked boots and jacket
My lips are bruised from kisses, 
Thighs sore, eyes bloodshot tired    
But there is work to be done 
The room is shaping to what it is:
Sturdy ship, facing towards the sun   



Posted for:   Real Toads and D'verse Poets pub - OpenlinkNight - Thanks for the visit ~ 
An aubade is a morning love song or poem about lovers separating at dawn.  It has also been defined as "a song or instrumental composition concerning, accompanying, or evoking daybreak"


picture credit:  here

49 comments:

  1. This invokes a familiar 'the morning after' sort of situation - wondering where it'll all lead to. Great write Heaven!

    Hank

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    1. Thanks Hank ~ I appreciate your visit ~

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  2. I love the sequence in the first stanza.
    Dropped, heard, carried, swelled.
    I guess that's how storms are formed.
    Funny, your ship faces the sun
    Mine always turn to the storm
    And that by choice for whatever reason.
    And shouldn't truth be unapologetic? It is what it is beyond what fiction can make it.
    A lovely ride, Grace
    Rick

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    1. The first part came easy to me, the last one I struggled with~

      Interesting perspective, Rick ~ I appreciate your thoughts and visit ~

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  3. Lips bruised from kisses, thighs sore... Sexy. Yes truth should never need an apology. I agree with that. Lovely write Grace.

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    1. Thanks Bren ~ I appreciate your visit ~

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  4. The first lines set this piece of perfectly. Really well done, Grace.

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    1. Thanks MZ ~ I appreciate your lovely words ~

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  5. i like your turn back to positive in the end...you set a nice tension with the doubt and rotting fish...which makes for a nice release...sounds like a good night though...smiles.

    ps. have an interview thursday with the school system

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    1. Good luck in the upcoming interview, Brian ~

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  6. this whole piece is gorgeous!

    a pin drop of doubt...beautiful words of something real.

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  7. Wow, how nice to feel so confident about your relationship! You say so much between the lines, Grace. Her going out to meet him, to work on things together. To build their room, their ship, their sky ... together. Lovely.

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  8. I love this. A ripple in still water, almost to waken the necessary form of compromise in a lasting relationship. I like the sturdy ship and the unknown and that it is all worth it. I love that the elements sent the whisper back.

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  9. I love it when breezes carry whispers and sighs....

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  10. Enrapturing! "Rippling bedposts of our sky" If only the doubt had not dropped in, the morning parting would have been heated and not cold! Sad.
    "Courage comes like a vodka shot" Bravo! ". . . there is work to be done"--but what, but what? Do you go get the fish in and forget about the dream imprinted on lips and thigh? Or do you go after the lover to save the dream you shared? A mystery! Waiting for Part Two!

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  11. I do love an aubade and this carries both the sense of loss in the partner's leaving, and contentment in the love shared before departure.

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  12. Truly stunning! I'm going to be revisiting these words. They take my breath away.

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  13. Sometimes I'd rather stay in bed then get up for the rat race, but I suppose it has to be done, I need a rum shot sometimes maybe though haha

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  14. You covered the emotional bases with this one, while honoring the form. Nicely penned.

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  15. Courage comes like a vodka shot... I like that, although that kind of courage is an illusion to me.

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  16. It's brilliant the way you cause the 'pindrop' to create so many deep ripples. There is so much to admire here...it's really a very intense drama set in verse. Very nice job.

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  17. The second stanza carries this poem for me - the "mud prints going to the shore" and "the unapologetic truth". So much said with the picture you paint. Thanks for sharing.

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  18. Wonderful! At first I was feeling a bit of doubt about the lover leaving... but the end was full of confidence.

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  19. I like this. I love the twist you give it. Courage wins in the end, and faces truth.

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  20. The ending has the push of truth emblazoned and courage to carry on! Beautifully articulated.

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  21. Lips bruised from kisses...thighs sore...you've described the best kind of tired. And the ending blows me away.

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  22. This reminded me of the 'brain worms' I used to get when I was I was younger and in more turbulent relationships. I'd wake up in the morning, brain racing, thinking about when and why the relationship would go wrong...then the morning would break and the thoughts would disappear (for a bit at least)- and your great poem reminded me of this

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  23. nice touch on the textures like the oil slicked boots and the salty nets

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  24. The detail is well-drawn and strong, along with the narrator, and the whole mood is like a cold walk that clears the head. Enjoyed it, Heaven.

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  25. I like the contrast of contracting (pin drop) and expanding (ocean floor) and the idea of the room as a ship.

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  26. There is magic here...the passion of love caught beautifully, then juxtaposed with reality. Beautifully done!

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  27. this made me wonder if there were male silkies. a beautiful and mystical piece.

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  28. Beautiful aubade! I love the line "courage comes like a shot of vodka."

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  29. good to grab the oil-slicked boots and jacket and do the work that has to be done...i like the not giving in to the rot you mention earlier but join the other in the mud and work on it..i like

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  30. "Your side cold" - made me nervous at first..then I kept reading and realized it was the sheets..phew! Great writing! Thank you, Grace!

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  31. from the drop of doubt to the resolute self-assertion...wonderful journey of the soul.

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  32. Grace, this is brilliant and gorgeous. Love it !

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  33. Grace, I know this may not mean anything to you...but still I felt like passing this award to you :)
    http://ashokism.blogspot.in/2012/08/sunshine.html

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    1. Thanks Ashok ~ I appreciate the gesture and posted it in my Compliments Page ~

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  34. A fantastic job as always... xx

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  35. gorgeous writing Grace as always.

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  36. Ah, the harsh realities of dawn! It's much worse to arise on a west-facing ship, I fear...

    Beats getting up to log onto Facebook, though!

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  37. Never quite sure where the line was drawn between reality and phantasy - or if there was a line - which is just as it should be.

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  38. ....it causes us to feel both the best and worst of such a stormy night ...and possibilities..

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  39. A fisherman and his lady it sounds like to me, rolling in the sheets of the night and the swells of the day.

    Love how you swept me away to some place previously unimagined. A mini-movie I'd like to step into deeper.

    xoox

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  40. Sheer magic! How do you do it? X

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~