Sunday, 21 April 2013

by the sea


the sea ricochets
shell crashing hard against rocks 
like broken arrow  




watching the tide
crest, fall unceasingly- i   allow
the past- past   



Posted for Imaginary Garden for Real Toads - Poetry form:  Lune - 3 lines of 3-5-3 words or  5-3-5 syllabic count      
and Poets United 

53 comments:

  1. Good to leave the past behind..lovely. Happy Sunday Grace.

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  2. Beautiful flow in both, Grace. I especially like "I allow the past - past."

    Hope you have a springlike day!

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    1. It's looking good today ~ Thank you Mary ~

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  3. So good for us to leave the past behind, love the smooth flow of this poem, makes me wish I was at the ocean, my favorite place.

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    1. Me too ~ Thanks for the visit Lisa ~

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  4. Leaving the past behind is not easy, but I am trying. Beautiful piece Grace.

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  5. Love the last line, a lesson I need to remind of from time to time. Beauty in concise wording

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  6. very nice, the second one especially. the whole post, with that sky-blue photo against your orange background, is really lovely. thanks for introducing the Lune! i had no idea. possibly addictive!

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    1. I suspect people writing haiku are actually writing lune poems ~ It is very addicting Marian ~ Thanks for the lovely words ~

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  7. That second lune is just gorgeous!

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    1. Thank you MZ ~ I have no doubt you can easily ace the prompt ~

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  8. I wish I could let the past pass, beautiful piece Heaven.

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    1. A challenge, I do understand Matthew ~ Thanks for the visit ~

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  9. seashores give rise to such a flood of thoughts on so many things.I loved to sit by seashores at night when I was a child, dipping my feet in the coming-going waves.beautiful evocative poem.

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  10. the sea ricochets
    shell crashing hard against rocks
    like broken arrow

    It's so realistic, Grace! I can almost see the sea sprays taking along lots of shells with it and crashing down hard! Great!

    Hank

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  11. Enjoying your lunes so much,,,as with others, my favourite is the second. A challenge that a lot of us face and are working on,,,

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  12. Lots of undercurrents in these(no pun intended)and both capture very striking images...thanks for showing us how it's done, Heaven.

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  13. Beautifully done, both; although the last was best.

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  14. I allow the past past...
    I love that thought, Grace.

    Thank you for giving us a wonderful form to play with.

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  15. carried away by the waves...

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  16. So beautiful it makes me homesick!

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  17. Beautiful! Letting the past past is the key to living in the present. Difficult, though.

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  18. Just letting it go and be there, is the way to be at every lair.

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  19. Like the way you go from the sound -sh- in ricochet and shell and crashing into the -r- in rocks, broken and arrow, all perfectly positioned.

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    1. Thank you for picking up the sounds Aprille ~ I appreciate the lovely comment ~

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  20. tight writing! Love the broken arrow reference!

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    1. The form calls for it ~ Thank you ~

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  21. I love the first poem in particular, because I am homesick for the sea.
    And I agree about putting the past in the past.
    Well done, and thank you for the challenge. I had fun playing around with it, entertained myself all morning!
    K

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    1. Kay, your post was so entertaining and a delight to read ~ Thank you ~

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  22. Grace,

    Like a broken arrow..sadness within the lines. Well done allow the past..past..

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    1. I am glad you liked the words and form ~ Thank you ~

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  23. Like broken arrow... unique and effective imagery. Nice write!

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  24. Really beautiful! Opens to the reception of present love.

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  25. Lovely Grace!
    I love the broken arrows :D
    I know when a Sand dollar breaks there are doves inside~
    Your words remind me of this~

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  26. Grace, first off, thank you for a lovely, "Heavenly" prompt! Lunes are one of the few forms I do well at all, and the Kelly is my favorite.

    You employed the lune to its best advantage. And yes, allowing the past to be past, the way you formed that final sentence, made it FINAL. Amen, you know? Really good writing here. Amy

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  27. I love short forms like these and you have done them very well without even making a series of them! Neat photo as well. And thank you for visiting my blog so faithfully. I always appreciate your comments.

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  28. The notion of the past washing out on ocean waves ... I love it!!! GREAT challenge.

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  29. It is an intersting form, well handled. I struggle with it.

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  30. Beautiful, Grace! My favorite place in all the land.

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  31. Leave behind the unhappy past and wish you a good week ahead.

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  32. They seem to be in sequence (broken arrow--perhaps a metaphor for past hurts), and then letting go of the past. Beautiful, Grace, I love them both. And I enjoyed the challenge, thanks :)

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  33. I like short pieces that say a lot and this is perfecto, nice work.

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  34. I like the linking of the past disappearing with the tide. Lovely imagery. Hope you're good, Grace.

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  35. Smell the freshness of spring here!

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  36. nice....i like the first one in particular...some very tangible movement and energy in it...

    hiya.

    smiles

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  37. Hi Grace and thanks for the challenge. I love the arrow image in the first and can feel the waves in the second. The words in the second lune push in and out. It's perfect.

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~