the sea ricochets
shell crashing hard against rocks
like broken arrow
watching the tide
crest, fall unceasingly- i allow
the past- past
crest, fall unceasingly- i allow
the past- past
Posted for Imaginary Garden for Real Toads - Poetry form: Lune - 3 lines of 3-5-3 words or 5-3-5 syllabic count
and Poets United
Good to leave the past behind..lovely. Happy Sunday Grace.
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday to you Ayala ~
DeleteBeautiful flow in both, Grace. I especially like "I allow the past - past."
ReplyDeleteHope you have a springlike day!
It's looking good today ~ Thank you Mary ~
DeleteSo good for us to leave the past behind, love the smooth flow of this poem, makes me wish I was at the ocean, my favorite place.
ReplyDeleteMe too ~ Thanks for the visit Lisa ~
DeleteLeaving the past behind is not easy, but I am trying. Beautiful piece Grace.
ReplyDeleteThank you Susie ~
DeleteLove the last line, a lesson I need to remind of from time to time. Beauty in concise wording
ReplyDeleteThank you ~
Deletevery nice, the second one especially. the whole post, with that sky-blue photo against your orange background, is really lovely. thanks for introducing the Lune! i had no idea. possibly addictive!
ReplyDeleteI suspect people writing haiku are actually writing lune poems ~ It is very addicting Marian ~ Thanks for the lovely words ~
DeleteThat second lune is just gorgeous!
ReplyDeleteThank you MZ ~ I have no doubt you can easily ace the prompt ~
DeleteI wish I could let the past pass, beautiful piece Heaven.
ReplyDeleteA challenge, I do understand Matthew ~ Thanks for the visit ~
Deleteseashores give rise to such a flood of thoughts on so many things.I loved to sit by seashores at night when I was a child, dipping my feet in the coming-going waves.beautiful evocative poem.
ReplyDeletethe sea ricochets
ReplyDeleteshell crashing hard against rocks
like broken arrow
It's so realistic, Grace! I can almost see the sea sprays taking along lots of shells with it and crashing down hard! Great!
Hank
Enjoying your lunes so much,,,as with others, my favourite is the second. A challenge that a lot of us face and are working on,,,
ReplyDeleteLots of undercurrents in these(no pun intended)and both capture very striking images...thanks for showing us how it's done, Heaven.
ReplyDeletethe first one is brilliant
ReplyDeleteBeautifully done, both; although the last was best.
ReplyDeleteI allow the past past...
ReplyDeleteI love that thought, Grace.
Thank you for giving us a wonderful form to play with.
carried away by the waves...
ReplyDeleteSo beautiful it makes me homesick!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! Letting the past past is the key to living in the present. Difficult, though.
ReplyDeleteJust letting it go and be there, is the way to be at every lair.
ReplyDeleteLike the way you go from the sound -sh- in ricochet and shell and crashing into the -r- in rocks, broken and arrow, all perfectly positioned.
ReplyDeleteThank you for picking up the sounds Aprille ~ I appreciate the lovely comment ~
Deletetight writing! Love the broken arrow reference!
ReplyDeleteThe form calls for it ~ Thank you ~
DeleteI love the first poem in particular, because I am homesick for the sea.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree about putting the past in the past.
Well done, and thank you for the challenge. I had fun playing around with it, entertained myself all morning!
K
Kay, your post was so entertaining and a delight to read ~ Thank you ~
DeleteGrace,
ReplyDeleteLike a broken arrow..sadness within the lines. Well done allow the past..past..
I am glad you liked the words and form ~ Thank you ~
DeleteLike broken arrow... unique and effective imagery. Nice write!
ReplyDeleteReally beautiful! Opens to the reception of present love.
ReplyDeleteLovely Grace!
ReplyDeleteI love the broken arrows :D
I know when a Sand dollar breaks there are doves inside~
Your words remind me of this~
Grace, first off, thank you for a lovely, "Heavenly" prompt! Lunes are one of the few forms I do well at all, and the Kelly is my favorite.
ReplyDeleteYou employed the lune to its best advantage. And yes, allowing the past to be past, the way you formed that final sentence, made it FINAL. Amen, you know? Really good writing here. Amy
I love short forms like these and you have done them very well without even making a series of them! Neat photo as well. And thank you for visiting my blog so faithfully. I always appreciate your comments.
ReplyDeleteThe notion of the past washing out on ocean waves ... I love it!!! GREAT challenge.
ReplyDeleteWhat lovely verse.
ReplyDeleteMadeleine Begun Kane
It is an intersting form, well handled. I struggle with it.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Grace! My favorite place in all the land.
ReplyDeleteLeave behind the unhappy past and wish you a good week ahead.
ReplyDeleteVery nice piece!
ReplyDeleteI like short pieces that say a lot and this is perfecto, nice work.
ReplyDeleteI like the linking of the past disappearing with the tide. Lovely imagery. Hope you're good, Grace.
ReplyDeleteLovely write Heaven....
ReplyDeleteSmell the freshness of spring here!
ReplyDeletenice....i like the first one in particular...some very tangible movement and energy in it...
ReplyDeletehiya.
smiles
Hi Grace and thanks for the challenge. I love the arrow image in the first and can feel the waves in the second. The words in the second lune push in and out. It's perfect.
ReplyDelete