french perfume tied by velvet rose
tear-shaped pearls with sand-papered glow
mirages on desert, echoes
mocking words, turning days hollow
cheeks sting from unexpected blow
mouth gapes like a flickering trout
film noir fan, i'm not, nor sallow
C'est la vie ! i say, chest puffed out
~0~0~0~
you talk to me
after finishing your french toast
burnt crisp at edges,
like your words
while i eat creme brulee
slowly, prolonging each bite
twisting my au pair skirt,
i don't say anything
except to sigh and lick my spoon
we now sound french
to each other
First poem offering is a Huitain or Monk's Stanza Form - For Real Toads Challenge
and D'verse Poets Pub: A French Twist for Quatorze Juliet
Poetry form: Huitain form poem, also known as The Monk's Stanza
Line length: 8 (French) or 10 (English) syllables
Rhyme scheme: ababbcbc
Number of lines: 8
picture credit: here
we now sound french to each other...haha...nice....i like my french toast...have not had it in a while...the burnt around the edges...like the conversation, quite telling...smiles....
ReplyDeleteFrench is actually a second language here in Canada. But most Canadians don't speak French..ha..ha... Thanks for the visit and support Brian ~
Deletenice..love me a good creme brulee...made one myself once and it tasted like scrambled eggs..smiles..very cool on the conversation or non-conversation with sounding french to each other
ReplyDeleteCreme brulee is my fav dessert ~ Thanks for the visit Claudia ~
DeleteTerrific - liked them both immensely, but maybe especially the second (perhaps because not so dark.) Well done, witty--and distilled. k.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the compliments K ~
DeleteOooo I love Creme brulee too. This is very sensual Heaven. Nothing sexier than sharing a romantic meal. French treats, thrown in :)
ReplyDeleteYes, French is the second language in Canada but, they mostly use it as a first langue (English as second) in Quebec. Not surprisingly eh.
Nope. Thanks for the kind words and visit Bren ~
DeleteYes... both wonderful, but I really like the second.
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurie ~
Delete"we now sound french
ReplyDeleteto each other"
Outstanding! Really nice writing, Heaven.
Thanks for the lovely words MZ ~ I appreciate it ~
DeleteThere really is something about "French perfume" unlike any other kind of perfume.
ReplyDeleteAnd I think to sound "French" to each other is the height of romantic, or is this just me?
My interpretation of "sounding french" is different ~
DeleteBut it's all good Mary ~ Thanks for the visit ~
I like the language in the first poem a lot. The flickering trout image is great. I like how it pairs up with another focus on the mouth in the second poem.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the thoughtful comments Mark ~ I really appreciate it ~
DeleteSo sweet, and the photo you made for it is just a perfect accompliment.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful takes for both. A French outing this time around. A matching photo you have here Heaven!
ReplyDeleteHank
Wow, that really is like those French love-hate relationships we see in movies. How tempestuous! Haha. I especially liked that his/her words were "burnt crisp at edges": very well turned!
ReplyDeleteYou sure brought the french to the scene and of course you would having lived in frenchy land for so long haha
ReplyDeleteWow, an eight syllable huitain - even more difficult, but you made it look easy. Loved the French twist poem very much too.
ReplyDeleteOoh la la love the french toast and creme brulee e cest la vie! Sweet and tasty, yes. gardenlilie.com
ReplyDelete......... très mignon
ReplyDeleteWell Done...I love the twist. I thought oooh, so forbidden for the monk, lol~
ReplyDeleteSo romantic and exudes pleasure~
french toast
ReplyDeleteburnt crisp at edges,
like your words
Love the imagery.
"echoes mocking words, turning days hollow"
ReplyDeleteI enjoy the especially empty feeling of this portion...excellently written on both of these offerings, Grace!
My Grandfather didn't speak English until his early 20's (only French). My Grandmother taught him after they were married. He still chose to speak French most of the time though.
ReplyDeleteI love both of your poems and am now wanting some creme brulee!
to the first: courage
ReplyDeleteto the second: it is funny how we find each other
"burnt crisp at edges,
ReplyDeletelike your words "...love these words! brilliant!
Beau!
ReplyDeleteI think your Huitain is top drawer, Grace. Your phrasing is such that the rhyme scheme never over-powers. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteAw, that's lovely ...
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! I love those last two lines!
ReplyDeleteI have read the first one three times and am intrigued with the form, but mostly I just love your poem! The second one screams to be a screenplay!
ReplyDeletethe french language is simply sweet, just like this write.
ReplyDeletexo
I love the relationship that you create. The contrast stands out nicely.
ReplyDeleteLovely images come to mind..
ReplyDeleteI always go for the creme brulee! The French are such gastronomic geniuses, surely the height of taste. Love the idea that sharing food brings to mind that connection with another culture. The idea that we form of other people and how we commune with them is very powerful in human beings.
ReplyDeletecouldn't help thinking the three ovals and tildas were smoke rings from a french cigarette ;-)
ReplyDeleteesp liked,
"i eat creme brulee
slowly, prolonging each bite
twisting my au pair skirt"
sexy bites! ;-) nice, thanks heaven!
Both are wonderful, Grace. I always love, and look forward to reading, your work.
ReplyDeleteYou made me want to go and get some of that creme brulee--mmmm
ReplyDeleteA great exchange of moods and foods :-)
love the last line--and perfect form!
ReplyDeleteOooh, two fantastic poems! Love the creme brulee after the french toast (burnt crisp at the edges) the au pair skirt, and yes absolutely the last line. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteIn the first poem - bristling description in "mouth gapes like a flickering trout..." - like a silent bite!
ReplyDeleteIn the second poem - the French twist reminds me of hair coiling, symbolising a slow, agonising revenge!
Loved both poems!
As an aside...Ooooh! I'm a big film noir fan too.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, I love the way you put this one together :)
This is most apt:
C'est la vie ! i say, chest puffed out
I especially liked the second one a lot. Good, sensual write, erotic imagery... very "French" :P
ReplyDeleteI read them as one poem first--until I got to your note--and it worked, truly with her passive in the first and passive aggressive in the second, though she does not speak at all. Sounding French, then, meant the hit and the anger versus the puffing up, pursed lips and erotic eating. I see that the forms are too separate for that. As a form, the first poem truly works with an inside landscape consistent with its emotional environment, thick with apprehension. In the second, fear is gone and boredom remains--a slightly amused boredom with a slight handful of anxiety. Both are remarkable!
ReplyDeleteTwo sensuous poems indeed! I can't help but think if my words were a bit more like creme brulee I wouldn't mind eating them so much on occasion!
ReplyDeleteI think, here, the most is said in the places where nothing is said.
ReplyDeleteThere is a communication deeper than words.
Rick
Wow! Very cool poem form.
ReplyDelete