Sunday, 16 October 2011

The call



pale ghost  
laughter fled, tears
fell edges soiled laundry,
unopened beer cans, as call came:  

come home  




Posted for:   Imaginary Garden with Real Toads :  Use the form cinquain:   5 lines of 2, 4, 6, 8 and 2 syllables.  An interesting form to use.


Poetry Jam:   Your Assignment:   Use words laugh, laundry, ghost, edges, beer


Picture credit:   http://silent-musings.tumblr.com/
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22 comments:

  1. Anonymous16 October 2011 at 11:38

    you say so much, so powerfully, with so few words...amazing

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  2. Pat Hatt16 October 2011 at 11:47

    Agreed few words, yet they say alot, no place like home, where one can roam.

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  3. Liz Rice-Sosne16 October 2011 at 12:10

    Achieved with such tenderness.

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  4. Maude Lynn16 October 2011 at 12:28

    The most terrifying of calls.

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  5. Kerry O'Connor16 October 2011 at 12:49

    You have done something spectacular with this form. It gleams.

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  6. Brian Miller16 October 2011 at 13:09

    wow you mix much into there in so little heaven...perhaps the prodigal is heading home...

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  7. Cassiopeia Rises16 October 2011 at 16:43

    Wonderful. So much said in so little.


    Melanie

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  8. chiccoreal16 October 2011 at 16:46

    Love this style of poem, similar to a Haiku...? Oh maybe SENYRU? Wholly passionate and very Sweet Lust Heaven!

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  9. Susie Clevenger16 October 2011 at 17:54

    I am such a fan of saying much with so few words...love this!!

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  10. Daydreamertoo16 October 2011 at 18:50

    No matter where we go, home is still the best place of all.
    Glad you're home.

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  11. Helen16 October 2011 at 19:16

    You mastered the form beautifully!

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  12. Scarlet16 October 2011 at 19:30

    thank you for the wonderful comments.

    chiccoreal - the poetry form is cinquain.

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  13. ayala16 October 2011 at 19:53

    Lovely, Heaven!

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  14. Marian16 October 2011 at 21:28

    nice cinquain! the beer cans really speak.
    and for all the eleventybillion cinquains i've written, i have NEVER centered one on a page. learn something new every day!

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  15. Mary16 October 2011 at 21:28

    Well accomplished....with class.

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  16. kaykuala17 October 2011 at 03:46

    Heaven,
    That is a beautiful cinquain. I'm more impressed by the fact that you had managed to slot in all the words from a recent Poetry Jam( laugh, edges, laundry, ghost,beer)into such a compact posting. That's fantastic!

    Hank

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  17. Peter Goulding17 October 2011 at 06:57

    Cinquains along with haiku are usually too short for me to get much satisfaction from, but the clever use of the Poetry Jam prompt words makes this one an exception.

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  18. Lolamouse17 October 2011 at 07:19

    Wow. Impressive cinquain and you managed to work in the prompt words. This has an eerie feel to it. Much left unsaid. Great job!

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  19. Brother Ollie17 October 2011 at 08:03

    tough prompt, but you wove a fine piece

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  20. Ravenblack17 October 2011 at 09:22

    One wishes the person addressed would accept that invitation. Two words like a hand reaching out to lead the person back and out of that shadow state. Nicely constructed lines. I really like this. :)

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  21. hedgewitch17 October 2011 at 21:40

    Somber, ambiguous, very haiku-like in tone. I like this form, and what you did with it.

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  22. Anonymous18 October 2011 at 00:39

    just a few words needed to express
    such a powerful picture.

    you're extraordinary!

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