pale ghost
laughter fled, tears
fell edges soiled laundry,
unopened beer cans, as call came:
come home
Posted for: Imaginary Garden with Real Toads : Use the form cinquain: 5 lines of 2, 4, 6, 8 and 2 syllables. An interesting form to use.
Poetry Jam: Your Assignment: Use words laugh, laundry, ghost, edges, beer
Picture credit: http://silent-musings.tumblr.com/
you say so much, so powerfully, with so few words...amazing
ReplyDeleteAgreed few words, yet they say alot, no place like home, where one can roam.
ReplyDeleteAchieved with such tenderness.
ReplyDeleteThe most terrifying of calls.
ReplyDeleteYou have done something spectacular with this form. It gleams.
ReplyDeletewow you mix much into there in so little heaven...perhaps the prodigal is heading home...
ReplyDeleteWonderful. So much said in so little.
ReplyDeleteMelanie
Love this style of poem, similar to a Haiku...? Oh maybe SENYRU? Wholly passionate and very Sweet Lust Heaven!
ReplyDeleteI am such a fan of saying much with so few words...love this!!
ReplyDeleteNo matter where we go, home is still the best place of all.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're home.
You mastered the form beautifully!
ReplyDeletethank you for the wonderful comments.
ReplyDeletechiccoreal - the poetry form is cinquain.
Lovely, Heaven!
ReplyDeletenice cinquain! the beer cans really speak.
ReplyDeleteand for all the eleventybillion cinquains i've written, i have NEVER centered one on a page. learn something new every day!
Well accomplished....with class.
ReplyDeleteHeaven,
ReplyDeleteThat is a beautiful cinquain. I'm more impressed by the fact that you had managed to slot in all the words from a recent Poetry Jam( laugh, edges, laundry, ghost,beer)into such a compact posting. That's fantastic!
Hank
Cinquains along with haiku are usually too short for me to get much satisfaction from, but the clever use of the Poetry Jam prompt words makes this one an exception.
ReplyDeleteWow. Impressive cinquain and you managed to work in the prompt words. This has an eerie feel to it. Much left unsaid. Great job!
ReplyDeletetough prompt, but you wove a fine piece
ReplyDeleteOne wishes the person addressed would accept that invitation. Two words like a hand reaching out to lead the person back and out of that shadow state. Nicely constructed lines. I really like this. :)
ReplyDeleteSomber, ambiguous, very haiku-like in tone. I like this form, and what you did with it.
ReplyDeletejust a few words needed to express
ReplyDeletesuch a powerful picture.
you're extraordinary!