pale faced angel, i smile
innocent in my charm and guile
medium built among the four sons
my brown eyes and tilt of nose
hints at the same side of the river,
spilled by the lust driven man
Dad or old man, as all the children
call him affectionately, without disdain
for his humble work of hands, unpretentious
affections for women; he welcomes young girl
his daughter, me
given away by my mother, simple maid,
too ashamed of her deeds or sins of flesh
the young boys peer at my thin shoulders
almost malnourished, they hold their tongue
in great respect to their mother, forgiving,
brave of heart, still loving her wayward husband
the eldest son offers a candy to break the ice,
i take it with a grateful nod, my small hands
eagerly unwrapping the simple treat, as if
discovering the meaning of home and family
lineage i discover today, arriving with my
beaten up bag and old pair of shoes, my only pair
hunger pains ebb with thoughts of: roof
over my head, and a man called "Dad" to care for me
shyly, i bow my head in deference to my "new" family
as i am told that i now carry the family name
politely, i nod as conversations continue
with or without my murmurs; i try not to stand out
with my coarse clothes and blistered hands,
simple words from years lived in shadowy guilt
later, alone in my small room, i unhook
locket with a picture of my birth mother
though officially, she is "dead"
her reckless passion flows in my veins
i don't belong here.
not today.
ever.
Posted for D'Verse Poets Pub - The Other. Imagine that person who is other than you, and think about how you might construct a dramatic monologue in poetry. Hosted by Mark Kerstetter. For this prompt, I thought of writing about meeting "the other side of the family" - she is my unofficial half-aunt, if there is such a term.
Happy to be linking up today.
this is really well done heaven...its so hard with kids...taken from or losing a family and finding ways to make them feel at home in the 'new' home...felt piece...i work with many of these kids...
ReplyDeletePowerful words, Heaven. If a person does not have a 'regular' family, they often find ways of making rheir own.
ReplyDeleteI adore the ending. And i really like and agree with Mary's comment.
ReplyDeleteGosh your way with words is quite mesmerizing! Wow! Thanks for the glow in my gut!
ReplyDeletehopefully one day she'll find family... nice way of getting into your subject's head
ReplyDeleteWell done here! I've a friend who had a daughter very young. She was raised in the family thinking her mom was her sister. When the truth came out years later...it did not go well. A wonderful take on the prompt...Mark is pulling out some fantastic pieces at the pub this evening!
ReplyDeleteWow a great piece, and yeah many do find ways of making their own, in one form or another if no permanent family is around, again wonderfully done!
ReplyDeletethis just smacks you with loneliness and sadness :(
ReplyDeletegood job
Nice write... can so feel the endless loneliness of not quite feeling like family, yet trying to make it so.
ReplyDeleteIt breaks my heart to think of children having to experience such hardships. I cannot imagine. That longing to belong is palpable throughout.
ReplyDeleteThis is a beautiful persona poem. The strength of voice is commanding. You give an excellently drawn picture not just of the girl but the whole situation surrounding her. The voice is completely believable, the lines just right, the ending perfect. Really fine poem.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the lovely comments.
ReplyDeleteMark, thank you for being a great host today. I have learned a lot to improve my writing ~
not easy for a child to adapt to a new family and you captured that struggle inside well, the feeling of not belonging anywhere
ReplyDelete"though officially, she is "dead"
ReplyDeleteher reckless passion flows in my veins
i don't belong here.
not today.
ever."
Great writing. Economical impassioned and intensely moving. I loved it!
I found this very sad. I hope she lets herself find a family one day.
ReplyDeleteyou write so beautifully Heaven. I feel it. having official and unofficial family means more family and relatives. can be interesting Heaven.
ReplyDeleteVery perceptive Heaven. There are many worlds for children who did not grow up with birth parents. Always the question of why, and why not. You expressed this very well.
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job capturing the feelings, emotions of this "other" girl. I felt for her and would love to see her in your poems again.
ReplyDeletewell, good job in 'stepping out' with your speaker. Being inexperienced in this phenom, I don't know the cues; but I was 'drawn in' by this piece.
ReplyDeleteIt can be a painful experience of a shared childhood within a family but still not part of you. Great verse!
ReplyDeleteHank
dramatic monologue indeed. The ending packs a punch!
ReplyDeletevery good - a deep and somber perspective
ReplyDeletei hope she finds her way
ReplyDeletewith my coarse clothes and blistered hands,
ReplyDeletesimple words from years lived in shadowy guilt
you paint her so well... I can see her. Heartbreaking story... but so well written.
So well portrayed, Heaven. Yes, there's pain but I almost felt a sense of acceptance, or was it despair? Sad.
ReplyDeleteI lost my mom young, and my dad at 16. I was the "other" child, taken in at 16 by a family of friends, not relatives. An only child, I now have 1 brother and 4 sisters, for over 35 years blessed to call my family. I read your story and see an awkward child, lost, lonely and on this day feeling not at all part of this family, but hope in time they did become her family. And reading this realize that if she is an "unofficial" half aunt, then she has an "unofficial" half niece that thinks enough of her to write about. As they said in Mrs. Doubtfire, "There are all kinds of families..."
ReplyDeleteWell written and very thoughtful piece, Heaven.