Sunday 16 October 2011

The call



pale ghost  
laughter fled, tears
fell edges soiled laundry,
unopened beer cans, as call came:  

come home  




Posted for:   Imaginary Garden with Real Toads :  Use the form cinquain:   5 lines of 2, 4, 6, 8 and 2 syllables.  An interesting form to use.


Poetry Jam:   Your Assignment:   Use words laugh, laundry, ghost, edges, beer


Picture credit:   http://silent-musings.tumblr.com/

22 comments:

  1. you say so much, so powerfully, with so few words...amazing

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  2. Agreed few words, yet they say alot, no place like home, where one can roam.

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  3. You have done something spectacular with this form. It gleams.

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  4. wow you mix much into there in so little heaven...perhaps the prodigal is heading home...

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  5. Wonderful. So much said in so little.


    Melanie

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  6. Love this style of poem, similar to a Haiku...? Oh maybe SENYRU? Wholly passionate and very Sweet Lust Heaven!

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  7. I am such a fan of saying much with so few words...love this!!

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  8. No matter where we go, home is still the best place of all.
    Glad you're home.

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  9. You mastered the form beautifully!

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  10. thank you for the wonderful comments.

    chiccoreal - the poetry form is cinquain.

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  11. nice cinquain! the beer cans really speak.
    and for all the eleventybillion cinquains i've written, i have NEVER centered one on a page. learn something new every day!

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  12. Well accomplished....with class.

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  13. Heaven,
    That is a beautiful cinquain. I'm more impressed by the fact that you had managed to slot in all the words from a recent Poetry Jam( laugh, edges, laundry, ghost,beer)into such a compact posting. That's fantastic!

    Hank

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  14. Cinquains along with haiku are usually too short for me to get much satisfaction from, but the clever use of the Poetry Jam prompt words makes this one an exception.

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  15. Wow. Impressive cinquain and you managed to work in the prompt words. This has an eerie feel to it. Much left unsaid. Great job!

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  16. tough prompt, but you wove a fine piece

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  17. One wishes the person addressed would accept that invitation. Two words like a hand reaching out to lead the person back and out of that shadow state. Nicely constructed lines. I really like this. :)

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  18. Somber, ambiguous, very haiku-like in tone. I like this form, and what you did with it.

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  19. just a few words needed to express
    such a powerful picture.

    you're extraordinary!

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