draw the curtains close
as I unpin my long hair
brushing opened shirt
~0~0
light feather touches
rolling, unrolling my hips
air heavy, smoky
~0~0
silent communion
lips and hips in rhythmic beat
piercing paper walls
~0~0
resting gentle lips
bare devotion in your arms
making my heart jump
~0~0
quiet end of night
serenity curled my lap
sleeping days on end
Poetry form: Senryu (3 lines, 17 syllables in 5/7/5 format). In writing this form, I strive to provide a contrast of image between the first line and third line. As part of Haiku Heights Challenge: Prompt # 78 is Feather. My other haiku (nature themes) poems are here.
Also posted for D'Verse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight hosted by the Brian Miller. Doors open Tuesday (every Tuesday at 3pm EST.)
Update: This was featured in Poetic License Feb 2012.
picture credit: houseoferotica.tumblr
Sweet! Very sensual!!
ReplyDeleteI like it - like a captured series of sensuous little moments tied together in a chain.
ReplyDeleteSensuously delighting in beauty!!
ReplyDeleteYou are leading us on! Many can relate to each moment that you presented so well.
ReplyDeleteHank
Definetely as sensual as ever, each just wanting to be engrossed with the other, another wonderful write.
ReplyDeletethe sensual desire of coming together as one...perfection dear friend :)
ReplyDeleteVery sensual, indeed. Wonderfully written.
ReplyDeletemmm...some gentle touches there...as you lead us deeper into intimacy...and sleeping for days after, a great place to nest....delicious heaven
ReplyDeletemagical and soft words.
ReplyDeletewow.
oooooo I love this poem ....
ReplyDeleteGot me wanting to be in it :)
The sensuality flows from one to another...a beautiful progression
ReplyDeleteah The first and last - I'll keep those to repeat once and again- Love images you draw with your words, Heaven!
ReplyDeletea silent communion...it is...hmmm..beautifully sensual
ReplyDeleteunrolling my hips is pretty hot. that was my favorite image.
ReplyDelete"sleeping days on end" best sleeping pill there is!
ReplyDeletesweet and touching - a little hot too - silky thru out
ReplyDeletesilent communion
lips and hips in rhythmic beat
piercing paper walls
a beautiful stanza
Very sensual, very loving, and very lovely writing!
ReplyDeleteThis is so beautiful! Ummm, but don't forget to close the drapes, curtains, door, whatever--grin! ....HOT!
ReplyDeletesexy... very romantic. tight imagery! great poem!
ReplyDeleteA delicious romp in sensual passion!
ReplyDeleteTender and gentle, like a feather, yes.
ReplyDeleteOh! so sweet and sensual!
ReplyDeleteIt gripped me to the end, and not a stumble.
Lovely, lovely work.
Lady Nyo
Wow!
ReplyDeletesilent communion
lips and hips in rhythmic beat
piercing paper walls
Every bit of that hit me and sent me far, far into a very lovely place..... Wow!
My favorite is the 3rd stanza, too, but the whole piece is just beautiful, gentle, peaceful. Tastefully done :)
ReplyDeleteLove the repetition of "hips" and "rolling."
ReplyDeleteA delicious write...I love it from beginning to end.
ReplyDeleteProvocative and steamy sweet!
ReplyDeleteHad to come back and tell you that you made me smile...yes, you knew I would love Steve's picture :)
ReplyDeleteHave to admit - I didn't like this as much at first, but I re-read and slowly it came to me - this is a memory, a series of snapshots, with no boring moments.
ReplyDeleteThen, I grew to appreciate it. -
Thanks , Moskowitz
Heaven, love the Senryu and love how you pieced each of these together here. Wonderful job. Thanks for the read and Happy Open Link Night
ReplyDeleteso romantic, soft, and beautiful such a wonderful poem I am so happy you shared this
ReplyDeletehttp://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/20/the-fait-of-our-lands/
I like the simple, impressionistic language and the terse lines. This works for me.
ReplyDeletebare devotion in your arms
ReplyDeleteVery sweet thought.
I really liked the very separate moments you had in this poem - the 3rd stanza is amazing - loved it.
ReplyDeleteMmmm very nice! Beautifully done!
ReplyDeleteA perfect title for as smooth and comfortable as this is. I love the form of this flow.
ReplyDeleteCéu,
ReplyDeleteNavego na sensualidade das tuas palavras, nelas me perco, nelas naufrago, nelas me afundo... com prazer!...
Beijos meus,
AL
The ~0 ~0 dividers are a nice touch. The phrase "piercing paper walls" caught my attention, gave the whole thing a Japanese flavor.
ReplyDeleteThis is gorgeous from beginning to end!
ReplyDeleteCreative, and beautifully done as always....
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting your hair down in this piece. Nice.
ReplyDeleteO! O! That's what your stanza dividers seemed to say.
serious sensuality...well done.
ReplyDeleteLiving up to your names, here, writing with grace, and its heaven.
ReplyDeletebeautiful and with sweet feeling ...thank you x
ReplyDeleteSensual words and an interesting form. Particularly love the line 'lips and hips in rhythmic beat... '. Fab!
ReplyDeleteSo much wonderful heat in the poems today!
ReplyDeleteI'm not exactly sure what the ~o~o mean, but I love them!!
Bare devotion. bare but magnificent words, Heaven. Another yummy offering from you.
Gorgeously sensual, Heaven : ) I really loved..
ReplyDeleterolling and unrolling my hips ...love the imagery.
bare devotion in your arms ...beautiful image of revealing oneself to a trusted partner. Many of us long for the opportunity : )
Thank you for sharing your beautiful words.
-Eva
Loved this little series. So nice to see haiky and senryu show up here, and done so well, too. Enjoyed the motion and interlacing images of these spicy moments.
ReplyDeleteGene
Thank you for your visit. I appreciate your kind words ~
ReplyDeleteNicely done. Delicate and yet so powerful.
ReplyDeleteSensual and strong write, all the way to finish. :) Enjoyed it very much.
ReplyDeletelips and hips in rhythmic beat
ReplyDelete... Steaming sensuality
Truly lovely write my friend ~ Rose
ReplyDelete