Tuesday, 20 September 2011

Devotion





draw the curtains close
as I unpin my long hair
brushing opened shirt   

~0~0

light feather touches
rolling, unrolling my hips
air heavy, smoky

~0~0


silent communion 
lips and hips in rhythmic beat
piercing paper walls

~0~0


resting gentle lips
bare devotion in your arms
making my heart jump


~0~0


quiet end of night
serenity curled my lap 
sleeping days on end 








Poetry form:  Senryu (3 lines, 17 syllables in 5/7/5 format).   In writing this form, I strive to provide a contrast of image between the first line and third line.   As part of Haiku Heights Challenge:  Prompt # 78 is Feather.  My other haiku (nature themes) poems are here.  


Also posted for D'Verse Poets Pub - OpenLinkNight hosted by the Brian Miller.  Doors open Tuesday (every Tuesday at 3pm EST.)  


Update:   This was featured in Poetic License Feb 2012.


 


picture credit:  houseoferotica.tumblr

53 comments:

  1. I like it - like a captured series of sensuous little moments tied together in a chain.

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  2. Sensuously delighting in beauty!!

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  3. You are leading us on! Many can relate to each moment that you presented so well.

    Hank

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  4. Definetely as sensual as ever, each just wanting to be engrossed with the other, another wonderful write.

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  5. the sensual desire of coming together as one...perfection dear friend :)

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  6. Very sensual, indeed. Wonderfully written.

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  7. mmm...some gentle touches there...as you lead us deeper into intimacy...and sleeping for days after, a great place to nest....delicious heaven

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  8. oooooo I love this poem ....

    Got me wanting to be in it :)

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  9. The sensuality flows from one to another...a beautiful progression

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  10. ah The first and last - I'll keep those to repeat once and again- Love images you draw with your words, Heaven!

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  11. a silent communion...it is...hmmm..beautifully sensual

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  12. unrolling my hips is pretty hot. that was my favorite image.

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  13. "sleeping days on end" best sleeping pill there is!

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  14. sweet and touching - a little hot too - silky thru out

    silent communion
    lips and hips in rhythmic beat
    piercing paper walls

    a beautiful stanza

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  15. Very sensual, very loving, and very lovely writing!

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  16. This is so beautiful! Ummm, but don't forget to close the drapes, curtains, door, whatever--grin! ....HOT!

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  17. sexy... very romantic. tight imagery! great poem!

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  18. A delicious romp in sensual passion!

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  19. Tender and gentle, like a feather, yes.

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  20. Oh! so sweet and sensual!

    It gripped me to the end, and not a stumble.

    Lovely, lovely work.

    Lady Nyo

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  21. Wow!

    silent communion
    lips and hips in rhythmic beat
    piercing paper walls

    Every bit of that hit me and sent me far, far into a very lovely place..... Wow!

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  22. My favorite is the 3rd stanza, too, but the whole piece is just beautiful, gentle, peaceful. Tastefully done :)

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  23. Love the repetition of "hips" and "rolling."

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  24. A delicious write...I love it from beginning to end.

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  25. Had to come back and tell you that you made me smile...yes, you knew I would love Steve's picture :)

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  26. Have to admit - I didn't like this as much at first, but I re-read and slowly it came to me - this is a memory, a series of snapshots, with no boring moments.

    Then, I grew to appreciate it. -
    Thanks , Moskowitz

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  27. Heaven, love the Senryu and love how you pieced each of these together here. Wonderful job. Thanks for the read and Happy Open Link Night

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  28. so romantic, soft, and beautiful such a wonderful poem I am so happy you shared this
    http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/09/20/the-fait-of-our-lands/

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  29. I like the simple, impressionistic language and the terse lines. This works for me.

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  30. bare devotion in your arms

    Very sweet thought.

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  31. I really liked the very separate moments you had in this poem - the 3rd stanza is amazing - loved it.

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  32. A perfect title for as smooth and comfortable as this is. I love the form of this flow.

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  33. Céu,

    Navego na sensualidade das tuas palavras, nelas me perco, nelas naufrago, nelas me afundo... com prazer!...


    Beijos meus,
    AL

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  34. The ~0 ~0 dividers are a nice touch. The phrase "piercing paper walls" caught my attention, gave the whole thing a Japanese flavor.

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  35. This is gorgeous from beginning to end!

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  36. Creative, and beautifully done as always....

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  37. Thanks for letting your hair down in this piece. Nice.

    O! O! That's what your stanza dividers seemed to say.

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  38. serious sensuality...well done.

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  39. Living up to your names, here, writing with grace, and its heaven.

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  40. beautiful and with sweet feeling ...thank you x

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  41. Sensual words and an interesting form. Particularly love the line 'lips and hips in rhythmic beat... '. Fab!

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  42. So much wonderful heat in the poems today!

    I'm not exactly sure what the ~o~o mean, but I love them!!

    Bare devotion. bare but magnificent words, Heaven. Another yummy offering from you.

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  43. Gorgeously sensual, Heaven : ) I really loved..

    rolling and unrolling my hips ...love the imagery.

    bare devotion in your arms ...beautiful image of revealing oneself to a trusted partner. Many of us long for the opportunity : )

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful words.

    -Eva

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  44. Loved this little series. So nice to see haiky and senryu show up here, and done so well, too. Enjoyed the motion and interlacing images of these spicy moments.
    Gene

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  45. Thank you for your visit. I appreciate your kind words ~

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  46. Nicely done. Delicate and yet so powerful.

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  47. Sensual and strong write, all the way to finish. :) Enjoyed it very much.

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  48. lips and hips in rhythmic beat

    ... Steaming sensuality

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  49. Truly lovely write my friend ~ Rose

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~