I take a step
forward
feet touching shiny wooden floor
fire-lit room beckons my dance
above lazy eyes of the moon
I reach to fly, forgetting my wings
I take a step
sideways
against the crevices of thin wall
my dress pin-pricked with blood stains
my hands ice trembling in white fear
I fold myself into a panel sheet
I take a step
towards you
a seed of an idea, a possibility, a yearning
casting aside my compass and clothes,
I strike a match against wall, though unsure,
I take another step
Poetry form: Triptych - a poem in three distinct but united parts. Thanks to Kerry for this challenge.
Posted for Imaginary Garden with Real Toads: OpenLinkNight - every Monday
and D'verse Poets Pub: OpenLinkNight - every Tuesday starting at 3pm EST
On another note, I received a special award, Queen of Haiku Challenge, for my Haiku Journey on Feb. 2012 for my other blog, Everyday Amazing. There is another haiku challenge hosted by Leo of Haiku Heights for the month of April. You are all invited to write and share your haiku/senyru for this Poem-A-Day Month. Thank you for all your support and encouragement of my writing.
Beautiful!
ReplyDeleteWhen we throw caution to the wind, our feet grow wings...(Hugs)Indigo
This is lovely... I especially like the last stanza.
ReplyDeleteI loved this challenge, it produed some beautiful writing and this is no exception. I really like the uncertainty and thought that we will make mistakes, but we will aslo overcome with a little help. Great poem...I loved it.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, beautiful words. Using a step for the repetition in this piece was powerful.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem Heaven. That last stanza was wonderful...
ReplyDeletethose steps are not easy and it takes boldness but that boldness allows us to fly...love your descriptions in this too heaven....
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on the award, very well deserved!
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely, all those small steps eventually lead us to where we need to be.
Your writing is wonderful!
One must take the steps if anything is every going to occur, no matter the situation. Well said and the descriptions were wonderful too.
ReplyDeletethis part: my hands ice trembling in white fear/ i fold myself into a panel sheet... that preliminary anxiety, anticipation of self-initiated movement is a painful, fruitful place we seem to need to go before we act. you draw it so well within this piece, and its power is amplified in the next simple and utterly powerful line: i take a step
ReplyDeletea true step is a monumental achievement. the piece demonstrates that so very well.
This is such a wonderfully composed piece. Intriguing form, the triptych and you accomplished it so well. It tells a familiar human story and interprets the photo wonderfully.
ReplyDeleteI like this so much. We just have to keep taking those steps; and they will get easier with time.
ReplyDelete(Also, congratulations to you on your award! Well deserved.)
really really enjoyed this.
ReplyDeletelovely words :)
ReplyDeleteforgetting your wings is often a good thing
ReplyDeletebeautifully written! I love that last stanza :)
ReplyDeleteLovely--I love the idea of firelit room beckoning dance--my favorite kind of room, and movement. K.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your award. Well-deserved!
ReplyDeleteSo well done. I like the progression in "a seed of an idea, a possibility, a yearning" — and congratulations on being a haiku queen!
ReplyDeleteK
This fits the idea of a triptych perfectly, you even got 'panel' in there, subtly and very effectively. The emotions here are barely covered by the gauzy veneer, and even that is cast aside at the end, as we often have to throw off our protections. Good one, Heaven.
ReplyDeleteWonderful, your imagery is outstanding! I agree this fits the triptych so well! So beautiful ...I have to read it again!
ReplyDeleteVery nice...I enjoy your blog!
ReplyDeletenice poem i like it
ReplyDeleteI love how you divided up this poem - the steps - just so innovative, and your message is inspiring.
ReplyDelete'white fear' ... that struck me with unexpected force.
ReplyDeletethat, and the dragging of the match across the wall.
evocative.
i move in step.
A strong and interesting poem-- I'm all for inferring connections between images and some ambiguity of meaning-- at least, that appears to be a contemporary aesthetic suddenly apparent to me in my work-- very compelling! xxxj
ReplyDeletewith each step, we're moving into an unknown world...can be sweet, painful..whatever..but def. there's something waiting on the other side...i like how you take us with you
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorites of yours. Striking the match on the wall, excellent. And the lazy eyes of the moon -- wonderful!
ReplyDeletexo
I love this, beautiful! Thanks for your nice comment at Victoria's.
ReplyDeleteI liked each step. Good use of the form as well. The final step at the end was, well, a great way to end it.
ReplyDeleteNOW! I now know what is a "triptych"--and how GOOD it is.
ReplyDeleteI have reached, begun to fly, forgotten my wings...
You gave me to my hands ice trembling in white fear...
And Heaven, who has never, though unsure,
taken that next (another) step? Ouch! And you made me take it.
thanks for a terrific piece!
Really beautifully written--lovely!!
ReplyDeleteExtremely powerful imagery love! A taste of avant garde quality to this piece too, I feel, amazingly worded, words used to maximum effect! xoxo
ReplyDeleteBaeutifully written...Excellent form, Heaven.
ReplyDeleteLove your imagery in this..the "lazy eye of the moon" and the last stanza is great. Congrats for your haiku award, too! Your Haiku is beautiful.. :)
ReplyDeleteForwards, sideways, towards you - these three short verses match up very well - lovely imagery too
ReplyDeleteHeaven, really like this piece. The attention to image and movement is wonderful. Great job. Thanks
ReplyDeleteOh this I've enjoyed reading a few times in one sitting...so nicely and beautifully written! :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely. I'm going to try my hand at writing a triptych. You've inspired me.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Queen! Well done - a triptych ... interesting and impressive ... very cool
ReplyDeletehttp://thepoet-tree-house.blogspot.com/2012/03/fog-at-dusk-is-crowded.html
As someone said, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And how extraordinary an ending that you write, in that it also ends with a single step!
ReplyDeletei love the way your words dance
ReplyDeleteand flitter about. they're gorgeous
to watch.
thank you for sharing.
Enigmatic and entrancing. Brilliantly evocative. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful verse, Heaven! A clever way of making it lively with the repetition. It reminds me of 'tip-toeing in the park' song!
ReplyDeleteHank
nice progression in this form
ReplyDeleteEach step is a terror or an adventure, but always the start of a journey. You've captured a great sense of the possible in this piece. Nice work.
ReplyDeleteYour image and words reminded me of a moment, of the perseverance of the truly dedicated.
ReplyDeleteCheers,
Mark Butkus
Love the piece and the picture. It's lightness yet the blood stains, I'm stalled and she is moving.
ReplyDeletekind of like dancing the hockie pockie
ReplyDeletefour animal dedication senryu
I'm late commenting, as usual, but I simply love this. There's something very beautiful in the darkness of it and you've used the form in a lovely way...
ReplyDelete'I reach to fly, forgetting my wings'..my favourite piece : )
-Eva
"trembling in white fear" - "I take another step"
ReplyDeleteso many nice turns of phrases, and esp like the sense i get of determined hopefulness, a non-giving-up-ness -
even if it's by striking "a match against wall" - very nice, thanks heaven ;-)
The touches of anxiety resonated and bled from each line... loved it :)
ReplyDelete