why is it sometimes we don't see the road
paved with bad intentions, empty of nodes
we stumble like drunk bitches in white heels
eager to show off how fast we can steal
why is it sometimes we lose our course
even with a map, we seek mad discourse
taunting the sky and burning our bridges,
until we see death's eyes through the ridges
why is it we need to leave and go far
to know who we are, so far from a star
falling to depths, like used cigarette stick
we robbed ourselves, hollowed soul, so tragic
to seek again the road we thought so small
but holds our peace, we find, it was all
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub: FormForAll: Clarian Sonnets: composed of seven sequentially rhymed couplets – aa bb cc dd ee ff gg – in pentameter, or ten syllables per line.
and Imaginary Garden with Real Toads: Challenge on the Roads Picture credit: here
In love with your poem + the image! Why is it indeed?
ReplyDeleteThanks Helen ~ I like the picture too ~
Deletewe are the machines of our own destruction at times arent we...i like you allusions...the burned matchstick...i think too wanderlust and a sense of adventure can play a dirty hand against us as well...
ReplyDeleteFood for thought Brian ~ Thanks for the visit and support ~
DeleteLook at the rhyme, such a fun time. Sometimes we just have to know I guess and learn from it no matter what anyone says. Besides that one time it looks bad and you go for it, could be just what you want.
ReplyDeleteI knew my rhyming post will make you happy :-)
DeleteThanks Pat ~
Such a powerfully drawn piece Heaven. I love the way you combined the Toads prompt with the Clarian sonnet. It worked perfectly together and painted such an excellent piece. Thanks
ReplyDeleteThank you Fred, the theme at RT was calling for me. I appreciate your kind words ~
DeletePeace is everything. Wonderful write!
ReplyDeletehttp://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/05/03/then-quickly-gone/
Thanks Charles ~ Just trying out the form ~
Deletewhy is it sometimes we lose our course
ReplyDeleteeven with a map, we seek mad discourse....why do we? powerful and good, Grace!
Thanks Ayala ~ I appreciate your kind words ~
DeleteAs painful as they are, sometimes we have to make mistakes, or, how do we know if we get it right? We just have to hope we don't fall too far.
ReplyDeleteLovely imagery Grace.
This poem was for sure truthful, raw and I loved it.
ReplyDeletehttp://leahjlynn.wordpress.com/
good question. never heard of the clarian sonnet before. cool.
ReplyDeleteSome great lines in here Heaven--liked it much--and the message comes through loud and clear.
ReplyDeleteI especially like these:
ReplyDelete"even with a map, we seek mad discourse"
"until we see death's eyes through the ridges"
Such a great message. Why do we have to go anywhere to figure out who we are? Nice, Grace.
...an age old question, I'm afraid. This must have taken quite a bit of time, and you should be proud. It is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteWow, Heaven... this is very thought-provoking, well written. I like the questions you pose here.
ReplyDelete"to seek again the road we thought so small
ReplyDeletebut holds our peace, we find, it was all"
This is the clincher, Heaven! A clever ending that provided a very good answer. We're to strive on and not to give in and we'll get answers!
Great write,Ma'am!
Hank
I'm very happy you tried out the Clarian sonnet form - and imposing it on the road theme was a piece of ingenuity, especially with that question-and-answer format. The other thing I liked was the way you constructed the poem in terms of three quatrains and a final couplet. Most other writers intentionally broke the form, bringing it closer to free verse, but you instead decided to give the framework even more structure! Wonderful!
ReplyDeleteSeems life is full of questions...some we find answers too..some we just keep asking. And you ended it so well...nice work!!
ReplyDeleteha...i like the stumbling like drunk bitches in white heels... and crazy isn't it that we see things just too late sometimes...
ReplyDeleteBeautiful Heaven.
ReplyDeleteLoved the last two lines, says it all really!
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting take on the sonnet form, and I love where the prompt took you - a quite different direction in pondering the road.
ReplyDeletethis had some bite!- the drunk bitches n all- this is a rock n roll sonnet for sure- something about consentual self destruction in this....makes me want to drink beer and listen to the motley crue..seriously! ha ha- great job though- very unique, original subject- loved it
ReplyDeleteI love new roads and the right ones!
ReplyDeleteSometimes we don't know the road was paved with bad intentions until much later. We wouldn't have paid attention to anyone's warnings at the time.
ReplyDeleteThe photo is awesome, and your words rock the image. Choices, paths, signs ... all about the journey. You write very nice. I like!
ReplyDeleteThat is one zinger of a first stanza. I was completely taken by it, started off intending to highlight a line of two, but ended up with most of the poem. A beaut. Congrats.
ReplyDeleteWe go so far to find ourselves, when in reality, peace of mind is all we require :)
ReplyDeleteYour writing is beautiful! :)
thought provoking.
ReplyDelete:)
It is fascinating to me how differently everyone is treating this form, to make their own wonderful, unique poems. This is one to read and re-read.
ReplyDeleteWonderful the way this treats each prompt with such care. I tend to think that a poem about the road is made more beautiful in this clarion sonnet form. They fit one another.
ReplyDeletePoetry is fine
ReplyDeleteRoads are hazardous
Photos are uncredited
Tho some of the photos are awesome.