Thursday, 31 May 2012

the last night




upon purple sea    
       silver moon slowly rises,  
bathing the lovers 
       entwined in rapture kiss, white  
oblivious to eyes:
       owl, frog, sea turtles, raccoon, 
last night under cherry tree 




she folds white letter
origami boat sailing
      towards eastern shores, 


kneeling in silent prayer
as arrow wings rip blue sky  


Posted for D'verse Poets Pub:   FormForAll:   On Free Verse :   To disguise the structured poem so it looks like a free verse form.   I have written Japanese poetry forms - choka /tanka.  I feel a bit rusty with these forms but its a good exercise after a long day at work ~    

picture credit:  here


29 comments:

  1. Could this happen on the Credit River? It has more of an oriental flavour. LOved the cherry tree quartet of animals image. Excellente!

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    1. Thanks Henry ~ I did see the moon rising before by the sea and I never forgot it ~

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  2. I especially loved the origami boat stanza - quiet, hopeful. Great images!

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    1. Thanks for the lovely words and visit ~

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  3. Oblivious to all the stares of the creatures! What vivid descriptions of what's on the jungle floor. Lovers shut off their minds of them but to carry on with their own thing! Great write Heaven!

    Hank

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    1. I think so too Hank ~ Thanks for the visit ~

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  4. Moon- water-boat, romantic stanzas ... Need I say more...

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  5. Beautiful, but the ending is what made my heart soar~

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  6. I just love the origami boat...what a picture and how much it says just beautiful! Lovely read.

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  7. love the origami boat...that carries much symbolism for me grace....i also like that amidst the moment in the opening you nod to nature...and last night under the cherry tree give both joy and a ping as well in being the last...

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    1. Thank you Brian for the vist and lovely words ~ I like that symbolism too ~

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  8. This is wonderfully vivid! I especially got a snapshot of "arrow wings" ripping blue sky; almost like a flashing subliminal message.
    Love this one, Heaven!

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    1. Thank you Charles ~ I like that last line too ~

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  9. You work so well with the forms that complement each other beautifully. Each part adds a unique flash of insight on the other, giving the poem a growing power at the end.

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    1. Thanks Charles for the visit and lovely words ~

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  10. what is that raccoon doing there? :)))

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    1. Ogling at the couple..ha.ha...Thanks for the visit Dez~

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  11. very different choice of words here...clap clap!

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    1. Thanks Ashok for the kind words ~

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  12. I love your sadly romantic tanka, Grace..I hadn't noticed it was written in that form. The three separate verses paint very separate feelings...lovely.

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    1. The last two verses is a tanka poem ~ The first set is a choka.

      Thanks for the lovely words Bodhirose ~

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  13. Love this...and love your take on the forms as well! So well done!

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    1. Thank you for the visit and lovely words Shannyn ~

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  14. Great take on the form indeed, and sounds like such a joyous occassion.

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  15. This is gorgeous but so sad.

    The opening is beautiful:
    "upon purple sea
    silver moon slowly rises"

    Love the rhyme of "rapture kiss" and "oblivious"

    "as arrow wings rip blue sky" ... What a dagger through the heart. This ends with such deeply painful loss. Lovely work, Grace.

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  16. This is a wonderful interpretation of free-verse-that-isn't. I am moved by the origami-like folding and unfolding of your images, sensuous and natural, in those flush and indented lines. Heart be still.

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~