upon purple sea
silver moon slowly rises,
bathing the lovers
entwined in rapture kiss, white
oblivious to eyes:
owl, frog, sea turtles, raccoon,
last night under cherry tree
she folds white letter
origami boat sailing
towards eastern shores,
kneeling in silent prayer
as arrow wings rip blue sky
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub: FormForAll: On Free Verse : To disguise the structured poem so it looks like a free verse form. I have written Japanese poetry forms - choka /tanka. I feel a bit rusty with these forms but its a good exercise after a long day at work ~
picture credit: here
Could this happen on the Credit River? It has more of an oriental flavour. LOved the cherry tree quartet of animals image. Excellente!
ReplyDeleteThanks Henry ~ I did see the moon rising before by the sea and I never forgot it ~
DeleteI especially loved the origami boat stanza - quiet, hopeful. Great images!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the lovely words and visit ~
DeleteOblivious to all the stares of the creatures! What vivid descriptions of what's on the jungle floor. Lovers shut off their minds of them but to carry on with their own thing! Great write Heaven!
ReplyDeleteHank
I think so too Hank ~ Thanks for the visit ~
DeleteMoon- water-boat, romantic stanzas ... Need I say more...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the visit ~
DeleteBeautiful, but the ending is what made my heart soar~
ReplyDeleteI just love the origami boat...what a picture and how much it says just beautiful! Lovely read.
ReplyDeleteAh, if only...!
ReplyDeletelove the origami boat...that carries much symbolism for me grace....i also like that amidst the moment in the opening you nod to nature...and last night under the cherry tree give both joy and a ping as well in being the last...
ReplyDeleteThank you Brian for the vist and lovely words ~ I like that symbolism too ~
DeleteThis is wonderfully vivid! I especially got a snapshot of "arrow wings" ripping blue sky; almost like a flashing subliminal message.
ReplyDeleteLove this one, Heaven!
Thank you Charles ~ I like that last line too ~
DeleteYou work so well with the forms that complement each other beautifully. Each part adds a unique flash of insight on the other, giving the poem a growing power at the end.
ReplyDeleteThanks Charles for the visit and lovely words ~
Deletewhat is that raccoon doing there? :)))
ReplyDeleteOgling at the couple..ha.ha...Thanks for the visit Dez~
Deletevery different choice of words here...clap clap!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ashok for the kind words ~
DeleteI love your sadly romantic tanka, Grace..I hadn't noticed it was written in that form. The three separate verses paint very separate feelings...lovely.
ReplyDeleteThe last two verses is a tanka poem ~ The first set is a choka.
DeleteThanks for the lovely words Bodhirose ~
Love this...and love your take on the forms as well! So well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the visit and lovely words Shannyn ~
DeleteGreat take on the form indeed, and sounds like such a joyous occassion.
ReplyDeleteThis is gorgeous but so sad.
ReplyDeleteThe opening is beautiful:
"upon purple sea
silver moon slowly rises"
Love the rhyme of "rapture kiss" and "oblivious"
"as arrow wings rip blue sky" ... What a dagger through the heart. This ends with such deeply painful loss. Lovely work, Grace.
This is a wonderful interpretation of free-verse-that-isn't. I am moved by the origami-like folding and unfolding of your images, sensuous and natural, in those flush and indented lines. Heart be still.
ReplyDeletethis is so beautiful.
ReplyDelete