Saturday, 19 May 2012

Searching for you


veil  
covers 
face, empty
of verses, words
my fingers search their angles, edges, curves


black kohl eyes close, imagining your touch
unsieved grape juice,
swirling wine
heady
drop 


lips    
passion 
burst of spring
flowering   red   
torching pen, I listen to your breathing    




Poetry form:  Tetractys, a poetic form invented by Ray Stebbing, consists of at least 5 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 10 syllables (total of 20). Tetractys can be written with more than one verse, but must follow suit with an inverted syllable count.   For Triple Tetractys: the pattern is:  1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 10, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 10.   


It's a long weekend here in Canada.   Thanks for your visits and smiles.
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32 comments:

  1. Mary B. Mansfield19 May 2012 at 14:02

    Beautifully written! Especially love that first stanza :)

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    Replies
    1. Scarlet19 May 2012 at 14:13

      Thanks Mary. It's a challenge to write these days though ~

      Delete
  2. Brian Miller19 May 2012 at 14:14

    i really like the initmacy in the second...the eyes, wine, heady drop....and the listening to the breathing in the end as well...i like laying and listening like that...

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    Replies
    1. Scarlet19 May 2012 at 14:22

      Thanks for your lovely words Brian. I appreciate them ~

      Delete
  3. Kerry O'Connor19 May 2012 at 14:23

    Oh this is beautifully done, Grace. No surprise that you would rise to the challenge of a short form.

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    Replies
    1. Scarlet19 May 2012 at 14:30

      Thanks Kerry for your encouragement. The form wasn't so difficult, I must admit. Just perfect for weekend writing.

      Delete
  4. Anonymous19 May 2012 at 16:05

    This is beautiful, Heaven. I love "veil covers face, empty of verses". You are so talented.

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  5. Anonymous19 May 2012 at 17:19

    i've been daring to pen some poetry...
    but too afraid to expose them.
    especially when you do it so well!

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    Replies
    1. Scarlet19 May 2012 at 18:15

      I think you should try it. I am a beginner myself but these forms look so fun and challenging ~

      Thanks Lisa ~

      Delete
  6. Sherry Blue Sky19 May 2012 at 17:26

    Brave girl, and you did it splendidly!!!!!

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    Replies
    1. Scarlet19 May 2012 at 18:15

      Thanks Sherry ~ Your posts are wonderful to me too ~

      Delete
  7. Christine19 May 2012 at 17:49

    those first few words really pulled me in, wonderful verse,
    ours is a rainy long weekend, hope the sun comes out soon

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    Replies
    1. Scarlet19 May 2012 at 18:15

      Thanks for the visit Christine. We are lucky to have warm spring days ~

      Delete
  8. Hannah19 May 2012 at 18:26

    These are great...flows so smoothly from one stanza to the next.

    I love this part:

    "flowering red
    torching pen,"

    Nice writing, Heaven!!

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  9. Helen19 May 2012 at 19:28

    You took a difficult form and ACED it!

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  10. Maude Lynn19 May 2012 at 21:13

    I really like this. The first stanza is especially beautiful.

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  11. hedgewitch19 May 2012 at 22:52

    You present some lovely images here, Heaven--I especially like the first and second stanzas--very vivid. Enjoy your long weekend!

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  12. Margaret19 May 2012 at 22:57

    ...touching, watching, listening to a lover as he (or she) sleeps. Wonderful!

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  13. Daydreamertoo20 May 2012 at 06:24

    Lovely, lovely, lovely~!

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  14. Teresa20 May 2012 at 08:01

    So much wonderful imagery in this one. Lovely.

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  15. Laurie Kolp20 May 2012 at 10:53

    Wow, Grace... this is amazing! I especially like the second verse!

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  16. Anonymous20 May 2012 at 11:58

    Wow! Very cool!

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  17. Shawna20 May 2012 at 12:07

    I love the opening:

    "veil
    covers
    face, empty
    of verses"

    I'm so glad you wrote the extended version; it's so visually appealing, as well as beautifully written.

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  18. DEZMOND20 May 2012 at 12:08

    I smell Adam Lambert in these verses.... must be the black kohl :)

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  19. Ella20 May 2012 at 12:43

    I love this! I see visually grapes growing, red cherry lips, and roses.
    All heady and beautiful all looking for passion's promise!
    Wonderful to read and so intimate~
    Beautiful!

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  20. Herotomost20 May 2012 at 15:15

    Blazing for sure...you took on the long form of the form, kudos to manning up for that one. Great writing.

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  21. Wayne Pitchko20 May 2012 at 19:54

    nice one indeed...thanks for sharing

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  22. Kay L. Davies20 May 2012 at 20:51

    Beautifully done. I never think of using a photo to prompt myself when learning a new form. You've done it so well, a lovely poem following a lovely photo.
    K

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  23. Mystic_Mom21 May 2012 at 14:07

    Great photo and wow that poem packs a punch! Very good...

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  24. Anonymous21 May 2012 at 16:50

    wonderful, Heaven!!! that first stanza is stunning!
    ♥

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  25. PattiKen22 May 2012 at 14:50

    Such a powerful and effective use of the form. Wow, scorching hot.

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~

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