Saturday, 19 May 2012

Searching for you


veil  
covers 
face, empty
of verses, words
my fingers search their angles, edges, curves


black kohl eyes close, imagining your touch
unsieved grape juice,
swirling wine
heady
drop 


lips    
passion 
burst of spring
flowering   red   
torching pen, I listen to your breathing    




Poetry form:  Tetractys, a poetic form invented by Ray Stebbing, consists of at least 5 lines of 1, 2, 3, 4, 10 syllables (total of 20). Tetractys can be written with more than one verse, but must follow suit with an inverted syllable count.   For Triple Tetractys: the pattern is:  1, 2, 3, 4, 10, 10, 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 2, 3, 4, 10.   


It's a long weekend here in Canada.   Thanks for your visits and smiles.

32 comments:

  1. Beautifully written! Especially love that first stanza :)

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    1. Thanks Mary. It's a challenge to write these days though ~

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  2. i really like the initmacy in the second...the eyes, wine, heady drop....and the listening to the breathing in the end as well...i like laying and listening like that...

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    1. Thanks for your lovely words Brian. I appreciate them ~

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  3. Oh this is beautifully done, Grace. No surprise that you would rise to the challenge of a short form.

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    1. Thanks Kerry for your encouragement. The form wasn't so difficult, I must admit. Just perfect for weekend writing.

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  4. This is beautiful, Heaven. I love "veil covers face, empty of verses". You are so talented.

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    1. Thanks Elsie, I enjoy writing them ~

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  5. i've been daring to pen some poetry...
    but too afraid to expose them.
    especially when you do it so well!

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    1. I think you should try it. I am a beginner myself but these forms look so fun and challenging ~

      Thanks Lisa ~

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  6. Brave girl, and you did it splendidly!!!!!

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    1. Thanks Sherry ~ Your posts are wonderful to me too ~

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  7. those first few words really pulled me in, wonderful verse,
    ours is a rainy long weekend, hope the sun comes out soon

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    1. Thanks for the visit Christine. We are lucky to have warm spring days ~

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  8. These are great...flows so smoothly from one stanza to the next.

    I love this part:

    "flowering red
    torching pen,"

    Nice writing, Heaven!!

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  9. You took a difficult form and ACED it!

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  10. I really like this. The first stanza is especially beautiful.

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  11. You present some lovely images here, Heaven--I especially like the first and second stanzas--very vivid. Enjoy your long weekend!

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  12. ...touching, watching, listening to a lover as he (or she) sleeps. Wonderful!

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  13. So much wonderful imagery in this one. Lovely.

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  14. Wow, Grace... this is amazing! I especially like the second verse!

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  15. I love the opening:

    "veil
    covers
    face, empty
    of verses"

    I'm so glad you wrote the extended version; it's so visually appealing, as well as beautifully written.

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  16. I smell Adam Lambert in these verses.... must be the black kohl :)

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  17. I love this! I see visually grapes growing, red cherry lips, and roses.
    All heady and beautiful all looking for passion's promise!
    Wonderful to read and so intimate~
    Beautiful!

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  18. Blazing for sure...you took on the long form of the form, kudos to manning up for that one. Great writing.

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  19. nice one indeed...thanks for sharing

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  20. Beautifully done. I never think of using a photo to prompt myself when learning a new form. You've done it so well, a lovely poem following a lovely photo.
    K

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  21. Great photo and wow that poem packs a punch! Very good...

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  22. wonderful, Heaven!!! that first stanza is stunning!

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  23. Such a powerful and effective use of the form. Wow, scorching hot.

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~