Saturday, 1 September 2012

A model daughter


he smelled her even from afar, 
perfect blend of sweetness and
unbloomed rebellion in her blood,  
a model daughter, pale and meek

until he danced with her:  bubbling wine 
on glass, belly laughter deep as sea,
crumbling his polite facade until
all he could think of was just her scent

rich spice,  unlike the bland lineage of 
her wealthy family, who nosed down on his
humble roots, brown as mother earth 
but his words were gifted, pulsing her chest   

until wrists trembled to be freed
from family's expecatations and promises,
penning a letter, she left her home on the day
of his birthday, riding a plane out of town

she bore the costs of her elopement:
lost inheritance, empty mailboxes,
rough hands from daily chores and grind,  
silencing wild streak:   an outcast until

the birth of her daughter, bleeding 
and near death, she calmly accepted her fate as 
a wayward daughter, now a frail slip of a woman,
unlike her mother, strong as a rock, holding her hands 

forgiving and welcoming her back into the fold: 

a model daughter, pale and meek 

                                           
Posted for:  D'verse Poets Pub:   Poetics: The art of rebellion
I thought a real life story would be a good example for this prompt hosted by Stu McPherson.  Thanks for the visit ~  

Picture credit:   here  

36 comments:

  1. very touching and an amazing choice of picture for illustration, Heaven!

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  2. i she woman, is she wine, is she blood? is she all of them? and they are all intoxicating, especially in the smell...

    dear brother

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  3. Such a high price to pay..for love. Thank goodness the mother welcomed her back. Losing her must have broken her heart.
    Very touching write Heaven.

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  4. A touching reunion after such a lap, family is good that way most times.

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  5. wow- this is real life...this happens...and what a great contrast between the fathers love and then the cost of her rebellion...i guess rebellion an come at a cost....but then we all have to live our own lives...im just glad in this example the mother was strong enough to realise that NOTHING is worth losing a child... very poignant...

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  6. Incredible, descriptive profile presenting the interconnections between strength and weakness and the blurry lines between! Fascinating poem!

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  7. Wow, does this all seem familiar on so many levels and from so many angles.
    Been there, done that too many times. But the mothers always liked me, the dads, not so much.
    Nice writing, grace, thanks for the memories.
    Rick

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  8. smiles...made me smile big that the prodigal was welcomed home in the end...it comes around full circle....you def captured a bit of reality...and on leaving we think we all have it figured out...having kids sometimes triggers those walls coming down and bringing people back together...

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  9. A fantastic story of the price one will pay for love!

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  10. This reminds me of a modern day "Prodigal Son" (in this case - daughter) story. She rebelled, but when her relationship went bad I'm glad her mother welcomed her back.

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  11. Vividly and sensually told. Thanks. k.

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  12. I love the vivid atmosphere, sensuous description throughout this piece and finally the homecoming at the end. It goes to show you how strong our blood ties really are.

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  13. what a moving tale told so well!

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  14. glad there was a reunion at the end..she was brave to leave everything but it's not easy to live with it..

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  15. A poem illustrating the importance of never say never

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  16. A captivating telling of a genuine act of rebellion with dire consequences. This is true life truly told.

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  17. Great look at the strength of true love, excellent word choices in your descriptions, very original.

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  18. stunning, absolutely stunning! you captured your topic with such grace and beauty.

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  19. Great story. Her rebellion cost her much, it shaped her life. I love your poetic story telling.

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  20. Such a heartrending tale with the most stunning photographic accompaniment. Those sad eyes - the eyes of a woman not treated well by love. Am grateful for the mother welcoming her home.

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  21. such an outstanding illustration. The character is so detailed, you can feel for her but also with her. Love how I'm reading so many different responses to the theme of rebellion, all different yet completely in line with the theme, thus expanding definition itself. Great read. thanks

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  22. Wow--just a fabulous write--I have to agree with the comments about--just outstanding!

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  23. Amazing work with powerful images. You drew me in and then did not disappoint.

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  24. I love the opening lines, like taking a skeletal figure and filling it from your own senses. Really tough fate for the women who are forced to fit a particular mold. I'm glad that new life brought her back to her own beginning.

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  25. Wow! Vivid and luring...I found I was holding my breath. Great piece!

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  26. "A real life story" - wow, intriguing. You told it very well.

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  27. This one touched me as a mother. The biggest fear I have for my daughter is that she marry the wrong man. That can destroy a woman.

    Such sadness you've conveyed and deeply moving.

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  28. Such sadness and yet love. Life does have a way of booting us down and then offering a lifeline from places we least expected. Having been both the wild wayward daughter and the dutiful loving mother also, I feel these beautiful and heartfelt words deeply.

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  29. So heartbreaking and yet so hopeful. A mother's love never ends, no matter what. Thank you, Heaven.

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  30. What a beautiful rendering of a very sad story - all be it with a happy ending. Your writing as always very sensual and descriptive of all our emotions.

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~