kiss me anew, here
before the last maple leaf
falls, and first snowflake
wets my pale lips, stilling time
twisted in salty drenched arms
hurl me anew, here
before the last rose petal
dips, and first winter
drop caresses my bare hips
unfolding, clinging to you
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Form for All - Man’yoshu Poetry – Hosted today by Jane Kohut-Bartels (Lady Nyo). The challenge is to write the Somon category of Man’yoshu Japanese Poetry. In this category, the tanka style poems refer to love and longing.
and Poetry United: Thursday Think Tank - Waning days of Fall
picture credit: http://littlepawz.tumblr.com/
These have such a lovely flow like the floating feeling of being in love.
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteHeaven, this is so delicious. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteDenise
I agree... absolutely lovely. I especially like the first stanza.
ReplyDeleteAnother great verse, I'll take that kidn of cling any time..haha
ReplyDeleteTruly beautiful autumn love poem! Sensual and sweet.
ReplyDeleteSuch beautiful words to bid farewell to golden Autumn and welcome the coolness of Winter!
ReplyDeleteHank
i like the image of "my bare hips
ReplyDeleteunfolding, clinging to you"
Romantic and sensual...
ReplyDeleteSuch a smooth piece to read...
mmm...nice heaven...knew this one would be right up your alley...sensual and a nice dance...
ReplyDeleteExactly right. Nothing forced, so delicate, the touch so gentle, so loving, interspersed with seasonal images not used as metaphors, only sounds to reinforce the silky touch of the poem. Well done.
ReplyDeleteLusciously romantic! Beautifully said.
ReplyDeleteClinging to you; I love that~
ReplyDeleteReally wonderful imagery! Well Done~
loves is that what is dripping and clinging..
ReplyDeleteA nice poem to let the feel of romance grow deep as the season transits..
Mesmerising!
Sensuality rules, and heat in autumn is always a good thing.
ReplyDeletelovely, sensual tanka.
ReplyDeleteelegant
ReplyDeleteThat's gorgeous! What a lovely, unexpected use of the prompt.
ReplyDelete(The autumn leaf prompt, that is. Perfect for the Man'yoshu.))
ReplyDeleteYou got me with the second line all the way to the end...
ReplyDeletewonderful wonderful poem.
Just adore it.
Peace,
Siggi In Downeast Maine
I think you hit just about every right cylindar with this poem!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful....the mention of season, the way you intertwine it and lust, well, this certainly is in the spirit of the Man'yoshu.
Brava!
Lady Nyo
You can really feel the desire and passion in this poem - powerful!
ReplyDeleteI love the passion! Really enjoyed this, Heaven.
ReplyDeleteAll the reasons I'm not allowed to travel alone. Very romantic, sensual on content, but very well written poetically; great word choices, combinations, images, reader involement, and line work.
ReplyDeletea very elegantly sexy presentation of this form.
i like how you weave season and lust together..sensual and elegant
ReplyDeleteRace against time...for love is transient as the seasons...
ReplyDeletebeautiful choice of words!
ReplyDeleteWhy did the maple leaves make me think that this was a very personal poem?
ReplyDeleteVery fitting for both the season, and my current mood. GET OUT OF MY HEAD HEAVEN! ^_^
Beautiful and sensual, thoroughly enjoyed! :)
ReplyDeleteWow, this section reads of incense:
ReplyDelete"before the last rose petal
dips, and first winter
drop caresses my bare hips"
Gentle sensuality in a nicely executed form.
ReplyDeleteKind of interior rhyme here which is lovely.
ReplyDeletethis poem paints a beautiful picture in my mind! a joy to experience :)
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully expressed passion....brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThis poem is sumptuously erotic - I love that it is in the female voice, and that her sexuality is not under-stated.
ReplyDeleteWell, how awesome is this Heaven! I just came from Lady Nyo's. Getting a double dose of love poetry and influence by Japan.
ReplyDeletexo
mmm... very sensuous and delicious! ♥
ReplyDeleteJust how I love my poems...hot, short and deep!
ReplyDeletehot waves of emotions, well done.
ReplyDelete;)