Saturday, 11 August 2012

The beautiful sadness

muted clouds on bay
gold leaves all astray 
unbidden, you slay
words so soft, still 

red blooms have faded
as long years raided   
chest of seeds, naked 

longing to spill

sea of knowing you
sky of bitter blue  
my eyes awake, true
i learn to write

of missing spaces
room, empty of place, 
scentless, my lips trace

you, in moonlight 




                                                   
            
Posted for:   D'verse Poets:  The Beautiful Sadness

and Real Toads:  Poetry form is 
Cyhydedd Hir.  I have used this pattern:
x x x x A
x x x x A
x x x x A 
x x x B 





The Kiss by Theodore Gericault
c. 1822
Sepia wash and charcoal on paper, 203 x 368 mm
Museo Thyssen-Bornemisza, Madrid

Picture credit:   WikiPaintings.org 

40 comments:

  1. nice imagery here grace...esp. loved..i learn to write of missing spaces.. think it leads me into something personal..but somehow...yes.. i think as writers we do..

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  2. Agree with Claudia, gorgeous descriptions....beautiful & sensuous writing :)

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  3. some really nice touches here...learning to write of the empty places...tracing them in the moonlight....words like slay and bitter really add another layer of emotion as well...

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  4. This is gorgeous, Heaven. Your phrasing is so smooooth, and serves to break the rigidity of the rhyme scheme and forcefully short lines.
    The mood you create is palpable. Lovely work.

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  5. great great form...and you capture a melancholy here that is so strong...something about love, or the search for it, that makes us ache all day and all night long...so nice...ill probably read this another ten times before the night is out

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  6. I learn to write of missing spaces.. sounds sad. I love 'my lips trace you in moonlight'
    Lovely. :)

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  7. Powerful sad beauty! In the first stanza I nearly missed "unbidden, you slay"--reading it as "you STAY"--which confused the sense of your poem until I looked at it again. Long loving, though "red blooms have faded / as long years raided / chest of seeds." Wow! Things do change, lacks are discovered along with Voice, beautiful creativity:
    "sea of knowing you
    sky of bitter blue
    my eyes awake, true
    i learn to write"
    And here we are, spilling and loving and tracing, and going on. Thank you.

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  8. I love the way this piece rolls off the tongue. This part is my favorite,

    "sea of knowing you
    sky of bitter blue
    my eyes awake, true
    i learn to write

    of missing spaces
    room, empty of place,
    scentless, my lips trace

    you, in moonlight"

    Just lovely :) Hope you are well!

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  9. I love the ending... my lips trace you, in moonlight. Truly a beautiful sadness, and a loving one!

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  10. Being amiss can lead to bliss or maybe not, either way you rhyme a whole lot, have to love that, pretending to be the cat haha

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  11. That reads well and goes well with the picture. Nice form.

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  12. Good job with the pattern! I like how it emphasizes the last line. And your poem ends with the moonlight... you won my heart at this!

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  13. A very pretty poem, beautiful form well-executed. k.

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  14. Read it twice... the longing is lovely, although sad.

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  15. Wonderful descriptions and in keeping with your trade-mark, sensuously placed. Great write Heaven!

    Hank

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  16. lovely imagery...love "my lips trace

    you, in moonlight "

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  17. really nice. Love the tone and images here. and love the combination of the two one liners, longing to spill, you in moonlight. Nicely done. Thanks

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  18. lovely imagery...loved ur choice of the picture too...

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  19. I like how the form sits quietly underneath the images, providing a comforting unity to the verse - wonderfully done.

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  20. This is so beautifully written. Excellent work!

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  21. That was a really sweet, inviting read, grace
    Rick

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  22. The short rhymed phrases convey so much, Heaven. Beautiful job on both prompts.

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  23. such longing, my goodness, you are so good with the pining. excellent, dearest :)

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  24. I love the painting that goes with the words. Perfect!

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  25. A lovely poem-- "the sea of knowing you"-- that alone could be riffed on endlessly, it seems. A classy, well-crafted poem~ xxxj

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  26. You have a way of using words to convey tenderness so beautifully...love the form you used.

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  27. This is it - the beautiful sadness. Lovely work.

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  28. sea of knowing you
    sky of bitter blue
    my eyes awake, true
    i learn to write

    ...love this. sweet flowing melancholy here. nice.

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  29. this is such a beautiful sadness... love it! these lines, especially:


    red blooms have faded
    as long years raided
    chest of seeds, naked

    just fabulous!

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  30. I love this, Grace, particularly these two lines:
    "sea of knowing you
    sky of bitter blue"
    A poignant poem—a very good write.
    K

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  31. It is often the missing spaces that we miss. Beautifully written!

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  32. mysterious, sad, and beautiful.

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  33. Awesome poem ... really a nice read. Thank you for sharing.

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  34. Nice poem. Please check out my new poetry blogzine and submit your best work: brevitypoetryreview.blogspot.com/

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  35. "sea of knowing you
    sky of bitter blue
    my eyes awake, true
    i learn to write

    of missing spaces
    room, empty of place,
    scentless, my lips trace

    you, in moonlight"


    LOVELY!!!!!

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  36. {sigh}

    this is one of your best, Heaven! absolutely LOVE this!

    lovely to see you, dear.

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  37. lovely poem.....simply yet touchy.....
    i simply love the way u express the beautiful feeling "love" and feelings associated with it....:)

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  38. Wow, lovely and impressive! I found this form way beyond me! Write on.

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