drop by drop
fading against the midnight sun
grey to white
melting peacock feathers into ashen dust
red lined lips
chewing the bitter wood
emptiness
licking the salted wounds on breasts
long tapered hands
turning into knives and scissor blades
if i drink the bottle of mercury
will your needle eyes move to the right ?
a strange thing
i have become in your house full of mirrors
time is irrelevant
if it breaks the river heart into a thousand stones
darkness is more than just a moonless night
if i am now
an insignificant dot in your palm
"“One person's craziness is another person's reality.”
― Tim Burton
Posted for Poets United: Eccentric : Congrats on the 100th prompt post ~
and D'verse Poets Pub: Where in the world? : Thanks for the visit.
picture credit: here
Mystic and seductive. I responded to this, the form helping it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visit and lovely words Dave ~
DeleteThis is the second time a poet has mentioned Tim Burton. I agree that he has an understanding of that fine line between reality and illusion, what makes us sane and what not. Your poem to Edward Scissor Hands, placing yourself in his skin brings me into that world of strangeness too, collapsing the line that so artificially defines normal from its obverse. Putting ourselves into the skin of the Other makes us so much more capable of gaining greater awareness of ourselves. Is the strange just those parts of our selves we'd rather not see? Your poem makes me think so.
ReplyDeleteStrange is not just Others, but also Ourselves. Though there is a standard of reality that we measure ourselves, some parts of us are always "alien" to even ourselves. Thanks for the prompt and thoughts Charles.
DeleteIntriguing and mystifying.
ReplyDeleteMysterious... I especially like-
ReplyDeleteif i drink the bottle of mercury
will your needle eyes move to the right ?
superb writing...and i liked the image as well!
ReplyDeleteThank you Ashok ~ I like the picture too ~
Deletewow this turns grisly fast....the red lips chewing bitter root....some nice edward scissor hands imagery in there as well....like the dot on the palm as well....you dance that line well between reality and the surreal...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the vist and kind words Brian ~ Much appreciated ~
Delete..darkness is more than just a moonless night
ReplyDeleteif i am now
an insignificant dot in your palm...think there is this fear in each one of us of being insignificant.. the bottle of mercury is an intriguing touch as well..
Thank you Claudia for the vist and lovely words. I appreciate it.
DeleteThis does go from dark to darker quickly. Macabre, in some ways too with the lush red lips and hand turning into blades.
ReplyDeleteA very good tribute to Tim Burton. I saw three of his movies and thought them weird, fascinating. Different.
Great read! :)
Thanks Bren ~ Tim's take on reality is very different, even macabre at times.
DeleteSent shivers down my spine!
ReplyDeleteSensuous and mystifying.Can she still be accepted when she contends to be just 'an insignificant dot'? Great write Heaven!
ReplyDeleteHank
Thanks Hank for the visit and thoughts ~ I appreciate it.
Delete"if i drink the bottle of mercury
ReplyDeletewill your needle eyes move to the right ?"
Here the persona drops into the narration. Is she disappearing/dying in the dark or is the peacock-feathered one fading away? Who notices/measures the absence of color and spark? In this poem, I sense that their existence depends on each other and that darkness is oblivion. I felt so silenced at the end, I went back and read it again to feel the chill of insignificance.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Susan. In my thought process, there is always the Other. Feeling insignifant is a relative feeling in comparison with Another. If I gave you the chills, then I am a happy writer :-)
DeleteI love this, Grace. On an emotional level, this might be sad. On an alien/eccentric level, it is cool, strange, and other-worldly. But on another level, I think the "dot" is the "hand's" sex slave. This reminds me of Gothica and the girls he had chained up in his basement. Although, I think this is a willing submission.
ReplyDeleteLove these:
"red lined lips
chewing the bitter wood"
"long tapered hands
turning into knives and scissor blades"
"needle eyes"
"a strange thing
i have become in your house full of mirrors"
Shawna, your comments are delightful to read. You always see an angle to my writing that I have not contemplated. I appreciate your visit.
DeleteDarkness is more than just a moonless night.. Lovely lines.
ReplyDeleteYou're very very talented and your poems are just brilliant! :)
Thank you, I appreciate your visit and lovely words.
DeleteThis is brilliant. I love where it took you (and me!)
ReplyDeleteBrilliant, it dances with surrender to what is and what could be!
ReplyDeleteThe last line says so much...
"an insignificant dot in your palm"
Yes, at one time of another this view has fractured us all~
I loved it!
excellent piece of work that I thoroughly enjoyed reading.
ReplyDeleteA very effective poem which has images of mystery and the eccentric written all over it. Tim Burton is within your words!!!
ReplyDeleteEileen
Very seductive and a bit sad and scarey at the same time. Insignificance sounding quite a bit better from afar! k.
ReplyDeleteWow... this is dark with more than a few powerful overtones... it takes me in so many directions...I love it and that picture is terrific. I agree Tim Burton is in there somewhere!
ReplyDeleteReally liked the use of color you put into play, a tad evil like too at your bay.
ReplyDeleteHi Heaven!! I really enjoyed your take on this prompt! Love the Edward scissor hands reflection and your close:
ReplyDelete"darkness is more than just a moonless night
if i am now
an insignificant dot in your palm"
Was powerful and poignant!!
Sensuous with a surreal twist to it, can definitely feel a bit of an ominous undertone here though. So much complexity to these images, really well written.
ReplyDeleteBut the dot is not insignificant, is it?
ReplyDeleteThank you, Heaven.
Hi Elsie, that is a thought I will have to ponder on. Thanks for the visit ~
DeleteReally evocative piece, so beautiful crafted with such enticing images. You turned something horrible into something magical and delicious - really well done.
ReplyDeleteit creeps me out to be an insignificant dot on someone's palm....
ReplyDeletei can't imagine being more insignificant that being just a dot in a palm (or anywhere else on the body)
ReplyDelete