Friday 8 June 2012

Insignificant




drop by drop
fading against the midnight sun 


grey to white
melting peacock feathers into ashen dust  


red lined lips
chewing the bitter wood


emptiness
licking the salted wounds on breasts 


long tapered hands
turning into knives and scissor blades


if i drink the bottle of mercury 
will your needle eyes move to the right ?



a strange thing 
i have become in your house full of mirrors       



time is irrelevant 
if it breaks the river heart into a thousand stones 


darkness is more than just a moonless night
if i am now  


an insignificant dot in your palm




"“One person's craziness is another person's reality.” 
― Tim Burton 


Posted for Poets United:   Eccentric : Congrats on the 100th prompt post ~
and D'verse Poets Pub:    Where in the world?   :   Thanks for the visit.

picture credit:   here

37 comments:

  1. Mystic and seductive. I responded to this, the form helping it.

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    1. Thanks for visit and lovely words Dave ~

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  2. This is the second time a poet has mentioned Tim Burton. I agree that he has an understanding of that fine line between reality and illusion, what makes us sane and what not. Your poem to Edward Scissor Hands, placing yourself in his skin brings me into that world of strangeness too, collapsing the line that so artificially defines normal from its obverse. Putting ourselves into the skin of the Other makes us so much more capable of gaining greater awareness of ourselves. Is the strange just those parts of our selves we'd rather not see? Your poem makes me think so.

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    1. Strange is not just Others, but also Ourselves. Though there is a standard of reality that we measure ourselves, some parts of us are always "alien" to even ourselves. Thanks for the prompt and thoughts Charles.

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  3. Intriguing and mystifying.

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  4. Mysterious... I especially like-

    if i drink the bottle of mercury
    will your needle eyes move to the right ?

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  5. superb writing...and i liked the image as well!

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    1. Thank you Ashok ~ I like the picture too ~

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  6. wow this turns grisly fast....the red lips chewing bitter root....some nice edward scissor hands imagery in there as well....like the dot on the palm as well....you dance that line well between reality and the surreal...

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    1. Thanks for the vist and kind words Brian ~ Much appreciated ~

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  7. ..darkness is more than just a moonless night
    if i am now
    an insignificant dot in your palm...think there is this fear in each one of us of being insignificant.. the bottle of mercury is an intriguing touch as well..

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    1. Thank you Claudia for the vist and lovely words. I appreciate it.

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  8. This does go from dark to darker quickly. Macabre, in some ways too with the lush red lips and hand turning into blades.
    A very good tribute to Tim Burton. I saw three of his movies and thought them weird, fascinating. Different.
    Great read! :)

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    1. Thanks Bren ~ Tim's take on reality is very different, even macabre at times.

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  9. Sent shivers down my spine!

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  10. Sensuous and mystifying.Can she still be accepted when she contends to be just 'an insignificant dot'? Great write Heaven!

    Hank

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    1. Thanks Hank for the visit and thoughts ~ I appreciate it.

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  11. "if i drink the bottle of mercury
    will your needle eyes move to the right ?"

    Here the persona drops into the narration. Is she disappearing/dying in the dark or is the peacock-feathered one fading away? Who notices/measures the absence of color and spark? In this poem, I sense that their existence depends on each other and that darkness is oblivion. I felt so silenced at the end, I went back and read it again to feel the chill of insignificance.

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    1. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Susan. In my thought process, there is always the Other. Feeling insignifant is a relative feeling in comparison with Another. If I gave you the chills, then I am a happy writer :-)

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  12. I love this, Grace. On an emotional level, this might be sad. On an alien/eccentric level, it is cool, strange, and other-worldly. But on another level, I think the "dot" is the "hand's" sex slave. This reminds me of Gothica and the girls he had chained up in his basement. Although, I think this is a willing submission.

    Love these:

    "red lined lips
    chewing the bitter wood"

    "long tapered hands
    turning into knives and scissor blades"

    "needle eyes"

    "a strange thing
    i have become in your house full of mirrors"

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    1. Shawna, your comments are delightful to read. You always see an angle to my writing that I have not contemplated. I appreciate your visit.

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  13. Darkness is more than just a moonless night.. Lovely lines.
    You're very very talented and your poems are just brilliant! :)

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    1. Thank you, I appreciate your visit and lovely words.

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  14. This is brilliant. I love where it took you (and me!)

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  15. Brilliant, it dances with surrender to what is and what could be!
    The last line says so much...
    "an insignificant dot in your palm"
    Yes, at one time of another this view has fractured us all~
    I loved it!

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  16. excellent piece of work that I thoroughly enjoyed reading.

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  17. A very effective poem which has images of mystery and the eccentric written all over it. Tim Burton is within your words!!!

    Eileen

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  18. Very seductive and a bit sad and scarey at the same time. Insignificance sounding quite a bit better from afar! k.

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  19. Wow... this is dark with more than a few powerful overtones... it takes me in so many directions...I love it and that picture is terrific. I agree Tim Burton is in there somewhere!

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  20. Really liked the use of color you put into play, a tad evil like too at your bay.

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  21. Hi Heaven!! I really enjoyed your take on this prompt! Love the Edward scissor hands reflection and your close:

    "darkness is more than just a moonless night
    if i am now


    an insignificant dot in your palm"

    Was powerful and poignant!!

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  22. Sensuous with a surreal twist to it, can definitely feel a bit of an ominous undertone here though. So much complexity to these images, really well written.

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  23. But the dot is not insignificant, is it?

    Thank you, Heaven.

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    1. Hi Elsie, that is a thought I will have to ponder on. Thanks for the visit ~

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  24. Really evocative piece, so beautiful crafted with such enticing images. You turned something horrible into something magical and delicious - really well done.

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  25. it creeps me out to be an insignificant dot on someone's palm....

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  26. i can't imagine being more insignificant that being just a dot in a palm (or anywhere else on the body)

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~