Thursday 30 June 2011

Friday Romantic Challenge: Lies!

she was coming home at last
it has been 5 years since she left town 
she was burned out, depleted and exhausted
she was searching for something... for anything
maybe her spirit that was buried under the forest
maybe her heart along the river bank she grew up
she wanted to know if her life
for the last 5 years in the city was real
or was it all 
a lie

she walked towards a spot she knew so well
there it was - a small river with boulders on the side
she sat on a rock and stared at her reflection in the water
in a heartbeat she remembered one hot afternoon
when his friendly smack turned into a lover's sip
gripping her hips, they tumbled into the water
trembling and weaving, with only the trees hearing their cries  
it was the summer of their innocence lost
it was also the summer she said goodbye
she told him she was accepting an opportunity she couldn't let pass
she promised him that she would keep in touch
and that she was coming back
but the weeks and months turned into years
she told him

she took off her shoes and clothes on an impulse
bracing herself, she stepped in the cold water 
her soles felt the pebbles and grime underneath   
in her undergarments, she splashed water everywhere
reveling in the refreshing water
she felt her make up peeling off, her hair floating out of the bun
basking in the warm afternoon sun, she felt her spirit awakening
her pale skin tingled with prickling awareness   
her mind cleared of the city's fog 
she told herself no more

she stood up and walked back to where her clothes lay crumpled 

she saw to her surprise that he was standing there
watching her play like a young girl he so remembers
the boy has grown into a man 
his face fuller but his eyes are still the same 
understanding, serene, and so much kindness
her lips trembled with a smile
she didn't realized how much her life has gone astray until now
home is where she wanted to find her moral compass
he gazed at her appraisingly until his face broke into a familiar grin  
running to him, she flung her arms around him
she felt her heart beating strongly
she will tell him everything
there would be no more

Word count:  400

Author's Note:   This is my entry to Romantic Friday Writers.  The challenge is write 300-400 words with the theme and words Lies, Lies, Lies.   Do check out the others participating this week.  Thanks for the visit and your kind comments.

Picture credit:  gildam.tumblr


  1. ah wonderful scene...the coming home and perhaps home finding her a bit...lies the subtle master through out and the over the stripping away in the water...visual and drives the message...

    edit...she sits in a rockor on a rock?

  2. Home is always where the heart is.
    Nice portrayal of her being lost and then finding her way back to love.

  3. Awesome story. Really enjoyed it..

  4. Great story, stripping away the city fog, clearing her mind, was a great touch.

  5. Poetry; the language of love and loss. Eloquently presented


  6. Lovely, lovely piece! It's hard to discover the new, big job isn't always paradise. You captured those feelings beautifully and, in true romance style, the guy seems happy to see her. Loved it :-)

  7. I liked how she awoke to the sensation of the water and sand on her body. Good use of this description. Well written.
    N. R. Williams, The Treasures of Carmelidrium

  8. Hi,

    This is a lovely piece of heart-wrenching reminiscence, realisation that life can play cruel tricks and then hope fulfilled.


  9. Sometimes full circle is coming back to square one. This was beautiful. Roland

  10. Heaven, I loved this. And a happy ending, despite the lies - I'm a sucker for HEA.

    My only nit is your tenses slip a bit here are there, and I don't think it's intentional: she told him she was accepting an opportunity she can't let pass/
    she promised him that she will keep in touch

    "She told him" is past tense; "she can't" is present. "She couldn't let pass" would work. In the next line, "would" rather than will.

    My WV: belligh - I belligh Heaven has written an outstanding poem.

  11. Thanks for the visit and the comments (I will edit) ~

  12. Love this, so glad it had a happy ending!

  13. Great post, great build up. Loved the ending and the description. Very tender, too.
    BTW I noticed a typo: didn't realized
    Loved the piece :O)


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