Coffee stains, blackest
Spiralled, dotted with bread crumbs-
Fading slow like red roses-
Plates & unsaid words
As morning whirls, spins salt tears
Falling hard, staccato beat -
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Form for All - Hosted by Sam Peralta
Poetry form: Sedoka - 3 unrhymed lines of 5/7/7 syllables
Picture credit: Red / Hong Yi Official Site
O nothing is darker than coffee... the bitterness and a solitude in company ot not (that what I read in your poem). Great poem
ReplyDeleteugh... the unsaid words falling hard like staccato beat...tough when the day starts like this..really cool use of images grace..well played on the form as well..
ReplyDeleteoy that second one sets this one its head grace....the unsaid words...pretty sure i told you before but those are the words that scare me most....falling hard for sure...like how you pair that with coffee stains in the aftermath...
ReplyDeletesomehow i taste a bitter, here, to spin salt tears... have a lovely summer day, too, Grace! ~ M
ReplyDeleteSalt tears, plates falling hard... sad.
ReplyDeleteOh, really nice, Grace! "Plates & unsaid words..." Lovely
ReplyDeleteWe wake to a new day cradling hope in our fingertips & aorta, but too often some trauma, some negative emotion, some sadness stains our day like bitter black coffee down our white shirts; love how you used the form so effectively.
ReplyDeleteGreat job expressing your emotion in the sedoka.
ReplyDeleteYou never realise just how much the things that you touch leave a mark on your life, I know that doesn't make too much sense Heaven, but it's just crazy that you can leave a coffee stain on a table and it'll be there and people will see it and interact with it. I don't know the point I'm making but I love this piece of writing Heaven, just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteOuch. I had a feeling as soon as I saw the photo that it might take this direction. So well expressed, though.
ReplyDeleteYou mucky lot :-)
ReplyDeletedetergent can wash away the stains, tears not so much...
ReplyDeleteGrace - moving poem - such intimacy in so few words - loved the fading red roses - wonderful metaphor K
ReplyDeleteget the lysol all, lol but yeah weighs heavy indeed
ReplyDeleteevery word his beautiful and carries meaning. coffee stains, blackest, spiral, spins, plates, unsaid, all. the words beautiful, the image, the feeling, whole.
ReplyDeleteA lot left on that table. :)
ReplyDeleteI like the falling hard, staccato beat at the end! Very moving poem ... in what is unsaid!Sedoka - A Summer Love Poem
ReplyDeletevery strong poem, evocative!
ReplyDeletecoffee is good, the rest - just a bad dream...hope...:)
ReplyDelete...to have a morning of unsaid words is very sad... when silence & absence are the only thing present in the air is def no different on stirring a cup of coffee before a scattered rock - silent & dead... but we tend to rely on cold wars at times so as not to make things even complicated... smiles...
ReplyDelete:-)
ReplyDeleteStrong images combine into a deep melancholy, as dark as the coffee stains, with a staccato undercurrent, like a heartbeat.
ReplyDeleteHmm. Unsaid words can be good when you're truly comfortable with someone, but also negative when there's tension in the air that you can cut with a knife to use a cliche. Staccato beat - a beating heart I assume? Great write. -Mike
ReplyDeleteWhat agreat movement from morning coffee to conflict and despair! great!!!!
ReplyDeleteahhh so much can happen over a cup of coffee..
ReplyDeleteSuperb attention to the details of the coffee remains - and yet so concise. Fabulous!
ReplyDeleteNicely done :)
ReplyDeleteDarn that breakfast table! It records and plays back everything, especially the blues. This is true.
ReplyDeleteI love your poem! Happy solstice and weekend.
wonderful comparison and the pic almost made be want a cup of coffee... which I don't drink... loved the bitterness and words
ReplyDeleteThe imagery in your words conjures strong emotions. Great capture with this form Grace.
ReplyDeleteThe only good coffee is hot and steamy. Where the stains settle isn't our problem! ;)Is it warm in here, of is it Grace? I thought so!
ReplyDeletehope something good will happen after the coffee
ReplyDeletePlates and unsaid words....and secret tears. I remember that landscape. So well expressed. Understatement is truly effective.
ReplyDeleteBlack coffee stains, fading red roses, unsaid words, salt tears--no mistaking the sadness which defines this picture. Very effective use of imagery.
ReplyDeletePowerful!
ReplyDeleteI can taste the hurt, Grace. Lots of flavors here.
ReplyDeleteIntense feelings... so well written!!
ReplyDeleteI have a serious thing for coffee, love and relationships. Glad to discover this blog of yours. Will be back.
ReplyDeleteGrace! Where were you rushing off to? And the tears all forgotten? Sorry, dear, your poem made me think of all different conclusions, all of them steamy!
ReplyDeleteI was at the International Congress of Asian Folklores and met a professor of performing arts from the Philippines- mentioned how my friends from the blogosphere rock the poetry scene. I was talking about you, Kelvin, Arian and yes, Sam!