Thursday, 3 April 2014

half-awake, half asleep

Everywhere is rain, colored of iced tea
And I'm sinking, half-awake, half-asleep

My one hand cuts thunder,
while another hand turns the door closed

My one eye is weeping willow tree,
while another eye wants to get rid of bees

My lips insist in replaying each word you said
while my tongue lingers over your name:

a sweet fruit, melting of dark chocolate -
embers of long kiss, sweat from your brow & back -

There is madness in having two moons
speak in broken proverbs & torn sentences

All words are lost in translation
Except this fevered war on nerves & bones  

I curl deeper into this woman, foolishly
believing she can tame a wildcat of a man 
 
The cold strangles my throat, I want to escape
But I'm in limbo, floating in your perfume




Posted for D'verse Poets Pub  - Emotion in Poetry Hosted by Claudia 
and Poets United - Midweek Motif - Fool for Poetry - Hosted by Susan C.   

picture credit:   here

49 comments:

  1. I feel the contrasts in this poem, the mixes. It definitely does portray a feeling of being in limbo, Grace.

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  2. oh that captures the emotions so well... i once was in love with a man and i knew he is not good for me...and yet... i just fell for him again and again...ugh...can tear you apart... well written grace

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  3. When you have these loves this unrequited feelings.. Such a stark image of loss nod loneliness..

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    1. And the image of the two moons will haunt me.

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  4. Tore me up, Grace, such sensual sadness, your love spilling onto a non-reciprocal bad boy; love the lines /a sweet fruit/melting of dark chocolate/embers of a long kiss/sweat from your brow & back/ the demons of lust masquerading as love; excuse me while I go take a cold shower.

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  5. Ugh, limbo. The limbo of unrequited love, the limbo of not being able to tear yourself away, not knowing what is true, what is false. Yes, this is so well done.

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  6. Very poignant Grace. Loved the language and imagery. >KB

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  7. "there's madness in having two moons" - somehow it got me thinking of Saturn :) obviously this is so much more than a reference to galactic tides. Loved it!

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  8. The left brain seems to be at war with the right here. Or maybe just a minor disagreement that can be ironed out. Colourful and puzzling.

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  9. Quite a contrast to Bjorn's piece I just read. This couple is on the other end of the spectrum - all rush, all tempest, and yet I don't feel a soulmate connection, just that addiction to the danger and the thrill of the passion.

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  10. The woman sounds torn in half between contrasting emotions: one hand does one thing, the other hand does another, one eye weeping willow, one eye chasing bees etc. Perfectly conveys this 'dithering', this inability to pull loose in either one or the other direction.

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  11. This brought back memories that put a knot in my stomach... in a good way. I escaped, but the emotion is still there. Well done.

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  12. You have expressed the limbo stage and the contrasting emotions the persona feels there in a very vivid way, Grace!

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  13. Such a push/pull here.. you can really feel the conflict, between the lovers and within the speaker. I loved these lines "My one eye is weeping willow tree,
    while another eye wants to get rid of bees". Beautiful.

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  14. You vividly capture the internal struggle/battle

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  15. An excellent poem Grace, you capture the emotion so clearly. Oh dear i thought taming a wild cat of a man, what a daunting task.

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  16. There is madness in having two moons

    indeed ~

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  17. the perfume always gets you - every time - but who would have it any different ?

    Nice

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  18. The eternal struggle between the heart and mind. Beautiful poem.

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  19. Getting into a limbo is about as depressing as not wanting to continue. You conveyed it very well Grace!

    Hank

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  20. Your title is great...at first I thought you were dreaming and the emotions were those we have when we first wake up from a dream...but it's very sad and moving as well

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  21. madmen, poets, and lovers ... sigh
    mention chocolate and willow trees and bees and I know the prescribed diet will not only be hard but well nigh impossible. Making two of me, one who has to hold and rock and console the other. Gosh, Grace. it is not foolish to be kind to the aFFLICTED!

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  22. Want and not want can clash indeed, leaving one confused and alone

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  23. Beautiful, Grace... I love this couplet:

    here is madness in having two moons
    speak in broken proverbs & torn sentences

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  24. there was an interesting balance...a half-n-half...two powerful moons...strewn nicely in this...

    really nicely written.

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  25. You did an amazing job of walking the tightrope between bliss and anxiety in love ... two emotions that are wrought from the same place ... I love the juxtaposition of opposite emotions here, it makes it all so much more acute.

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  26. Brilliantly written and I admire the unusual and original images....."one eye weeping willow tree"....."madness in having two moons". Wonderful writing!

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  27. def an interesting blend of emotion in this one grace....the intimacy but i fear a tinge of sadness in this as well...in that =fevered war of nerve and bone...the curling in on her....well built piece....

    took the day off to work on grad school...

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  28. beautiful...'tame wild cat of man' ...in your dreams ~ emotional piece

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  29. You painted a vivid picture of a woman torn by love and reason, if I may say so. Should I pity her or encourage her. In any case, she is in for an unsolicited advice if she were my friend. :-)

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  30. helplessness is vivid here and the suffering...'There is madness in having two moons'.....
    haunting and beautiful image...

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  31. rain the colour of iced tea, the madness of having two moon... love this!

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  32. The madness of those torn sentences are really quite beautiful..and achingly knowing and wise..

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  33. I wonder what she chooses turn to or away from him. As always, thank you! Have a beautiful weekend, Grace!!

    Elsie
    AJ's wHooligan in the A-Z Challenge

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  34. You carry us directly into limbo, Grace; and I find it rather uncomfortable. You achieve and emotional pull with this on.

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  35. This sent my heart tugging.

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  36. "My one hand cuts thunder,
    while another hand turns the door closed"
    For me, this sums up her dilemma--delighting in the passion, yet knowing she should leave. Wonderful poem, Grace.

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  37. Having two moons, yes, you.
    Maybe also BETWEEN two...moons, whatever!
    Excellent emotive piece of work, Grace
    And your FEELINGS are felt by whoever reads!

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  38. Fascinating contrasts. It really speaks to how a person is torn.

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  39. This is what you do best, Grace. The duality and contrast cuts like a knife. And I adore these two lines...

    There is madness in having two moons
    speak in broken proverbs & torn sentences

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  40. I especially love the lines:

    There is madness in having two moons
    speak in broken proverbs & torn sentences

    All words are lost in translation

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  41. It's hard to tame a wildcat..some cats are meant to roam free..

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  42. The power of a woman, muah-ha-ha!

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  43. Full of emotion, very nice piece ...

    peace and love
    1ManView

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  44. My goodness this is sensual. Loved the two moons line.

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  45. "But I'm in limbo, floating in your perfume"

    A good perfume will do that. :-D Love this poem.

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  46. This is truly wonderful! And seems to me ghazal-like, which makes me love it even more.

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