my fingers trace the space
like braille, their corners slant
in secret language
i shuffle a few steps
there's a scent of dead flowers & warm heated air -
and what is round becomes angular & sharp:
needles & knots,
grains unpolished, tiny gaps
between wood & glass,
rough painting skein, thick spine of bed
where you said you love the shape
of my face, slope of my neck,
texture of my lips-
outside shuttered windows
winter wind whips & howls a thousand
bleating war songs
but all i hear is the ticking clicking seconds
so loud
so loud
in this room
empty of center & velocity
- you
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Hosted by Brian Miller
Picture credit: here
I can really feel the textures in this poem, Grace. And I can hear that ticking getting louder and louder and LOUDER!
ReplyDeleteThanks Mary ~
Deletescent of dead flowers & warm heated air -
ReplyDeleteand what is round becomes angular & sharp
love that grace....how things interact in our environment...i like how you use things to build mood in this as well...the wind howl as war song is cool...we had a terrible wind storm last night...power out as you know...i need to check the yard to see if we lost any trees...i was too tired to do that this morning...ha...one street over was blocked by trees though....
great closing line...empty of a center and relating it to them...
It was a good exercise but I have to say the winter storm last night was brutal ~ today the sun is up but still below zero ~ Thanks for the wonderful challenge Brian ~
DeleteI feel that you have really closed your eyes and walked around.. using your senses.. and a ticking clock can really really become like a hammer booming... the opening of the poem is breathtaking.
ReplyDeleteI did to get all my other senses working ~ Thanks Bjorn ~
Deletewhat is round becomes angular & sharp... love this esp. - how things change their shape and form if the emotions change... love how you wove the emotions in here..great close as well with the emptiness
ReplyDeleteA matter of perspective ~ Thanks Claudia ~
DeleteThe image you used is striking, and the poetry excels beyond that; a terrific romp blindly from the prompt; your attention to your other senses was clarion, like in /tiny gaps between wood & glass/ yet you never lost sight of yourself, heart & mind working like a Swiss timepiece.
ReplyDeleteThank you Glenn ~
Delete"rough painting skein, thick spine of bed" -- I like the sound of those words and the imagery you've invoked throughout. Lovely poem.
ReplyDeleteThank you ~
DeleteIt intrigues me that you take us through a private space, blindfolded, with such beautiful intimacy. Gorgeous work.
ReplyDeleteIt was a lovely exercise in writing ~ Thanks Beth ~
DeleteYou have evoked this blind and intimate moment very vividly, Grace! Paradoxically, we can see you.
ReplyDeleteI like the paradox, Gabriella ~ Thanks ~
DeleteA sensual trip into the world.>KB
ReplyDeleteThanks KB ~
DeleteWow, this is fantastic. I felt every word of this.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kathryn ~
DeleteSome great images here .. particularly liked 'outside shuttered windows/winter wind whips & howls a thousand/bleating war songs' ,..... excellent piece
ReplyDeleteWell the wind was so loud last night & there's a heavy piece of ice draping our window ~ Thanks ~
DeleteGrace, this is "heavenly" writing...wonderfully sensual. In this kind of experience sight is easily eclipsed by the other senses, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteA challenge to use other senses but it was a good exercise ~ Thanks Victoria ~
DeleteOh this is so, so moving, and reminds me of some of what I was feeling last year - loss. Beautiful work.
ReplyDeleteThank you Freya ~
DeleteYes, like Bjorn says: it seems as if you really were feeling your way through the room, taking in the textures and following a mental map. Clever writing.
ReplyDeleteOdd that we both incorporate the scent of dead flowers. Not really a scent any longer, as it is tainted by decay. I couldn't find a suitable word for the aroma I had in mind. Cloying odour in a way.
There's actually a vase full of scented dead blooms ~ The exercise was a good way to stimulate my other senses ~ Thanks Hanna ~
DeleteLovely, Grace... I especially like:
ReplyDeleteoutside shuttered windows
winter wind whips & howls a thousand
bleating war songs
Thanks Laurie ~ I was trying to capture the howling wind last night ~
DeleteThis is beautiful Grace a wonderful exploration through the senses. Well done.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your visits ~
DeleteWhat an exquisitely textural composition - one feels as you touch - those things being the same as we grope across our own room with light out - feeling for edges thought to be round but now angular. You took me there!
ReplyDeleteSometimes the noise and shapes and space make the absence of a certain presence and sound more visible. You do that here beautifully. I especially love the third stanza with its pure sensual input.
ReplyDeletethousand bleating war songs...
ReplyDelete... a thousand bleating war songs... you so hit the nail on the head with this write
ReplyDelete"what is round becomes angular & sharp" - I went blind in this stanza, and became fearful of that here:
ReplyDelete"outside shuttered windows
winter wind whips & howls a thousand
bleating war songs"
beautiful - I liked every word
ReplyDeletemy fingers trace the space
ReplyDeletelike braille, their corners slant
in secret language
The beginning is classic, It sets the mood as one progresses further. There is the added mystery of like moving in the dark and touching! Often times shapes turned out to be different from the imagination when touched. Beautiful shot, Grace!
Hank
WOW! This poem is a feast! I especially love "winter wind whips & howls a thousand
ReplyDeletebleating war songs" and then, inside, the quiet and the ticking...........wonderful writing, Grace! Loved it.
So rightly said Grace - that loneliness and the ticking of clock just takes over everything. Beautifully done.
ReplyDeletea lovely poem full of senses that pull you in
ReplyDeleteeven if blindfolded you can find your way..
this is so wonderfully evocative
ReplyDeleteBrought to life everything that is around, as the senses can sure astound, all to finding your way to a brighter day
ReplyDeletepositively lovely. I like the wind stanza...the harsh loud winds...silenced by the emptiness of the room...really neat.
ReplyDelete'outside shuttered windows
ReplyDeletewinter wind whips & howls a thousand
bleating war songs' ~ my favorite...neat poem
Fabulous write! Love the textures woven with the sounds.
ReplyDeletereally lovely, Grace. perhaps the muse will find me again come the turn of spring... ~
ReplyDeleteYou give great insight here and create empathy for the person lost, if you will.... great contrasts and visuals in our minds...if not hers
ReplyDeleteLovely written, the imagery was wonderful ....
ReplyDeletepeace and love
1ManView
haunting emptiness
ReplyDeleteI commented and it didn't take. Amazing...Grace and not the song, I can't articulate very well, only to say I loved this and in awe of your words, thank you.
ReplyDeleteWonderfully written - and I hear the clock too as it marks out the emptiness of time.
ReplyDeleteAnna :o]
Sounds like waiting for your lover !
ReplyDeleteThis brought to mind the times when I was unable to move from my bed because of a migraine. (long ago before meds were available) My other senses became heightened as I listened to the world outside. You really conveyed that here. Well done. As always, thank you! You are so inspiring. Have a beautiful weekend, my friend!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! I need to try again...I love the knitting and war songs!
ReplyDeleteA really deft hand here, Grace, proceeding into the sanctum of love on the primary sense of touch. The small details take on such huge dimensions.
ReplyDeleteWow, wow, and WOW! Masterful, beautiful.
ReplyDeleteA poem that picks me up and won't let me go until the very end! Who needs sight? (On the other hand, I love the graphic - which is a bit ironic!)
ReplyDeleteAmazing imagery you have painted with your words. Really enjoyed reading this piece.
ReplyDeleteI'm missing my centre right now, so this really hit me right in the heart - well done! So well and beautifully done.
ReplyDeleteHow hauntingly sad, and of course, eloquently written.
ReplyDeletevery intense and evocative! Its been long I came here Grace and I am glad that I did not miss this
ReplyDelete