Thursday 13 March 2014

In the room, blindly





my fingers trace the space 
like braille, their corners slant
in secret language

i shuffle a few steps
there's a scent of dead flowers & warm heated air -
and what is round becomes angular & sharp: 

needles & knots, 
grains unpolished, tiny gaps 
between wood & glass, 
rough painting skein, thick spine of bed 

where you said you love the shape 
of my face, slope of my neck,
texture of my lips-

outside shuttered windows
winter wind whips & howls a thousand
bleating war songs

but all i hear is the ticking clicking seconds
so loud
so loud  

in this room

empty of center & velocity  
                                         - you



Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Hosted by Brian Miller
Picture credit:   here

63 comments:

  1. I can really feel the textures in this poem, Grace. And I can hear that ticking getting louder and louder and LOUDER!

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  2. scent of dead flowers & warm heated air -
    and what is round becomes angular & sharp

    love that grace....how things interact in our environment...i like how you use things to build mood in this as well...the wind howl as war song is cool...we had a terrible wind storm last night...power out as you know...i need to check the yard to see if we lost any trees...i was too tired to do that this morning...ha...one street over was blocked by trees though....

    great closing line...empty of a center and relating it to them...

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    1. It was a good exercise but I have to say the winter storm last night was brutal ~ today the sun is up but still below zero ~ Thanks for the wonderful challenge Brian ~

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  3. I feel that you have really closed your eyes and walked around.. using your senses.. and a ticking clock can really really become like a hammer booming... the opening of the poem is breathtaking.

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    1. I did to get all my other senses working ~ Thanks Bjorn ~

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  4. what is round becomes angular & sharp... love this esp. - how things change their shape and form if the emotions change... love how you wove the emotions in here..great close as well with the emptiness

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    1. A matter of perspective ~ Thanks Claudia ~

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  5. The image you used is striking, and the poetry excels beyond that; a terrific romp blindly from the prompt; your attention to your other senses was clarion, like in /tiny gaps between wood & glass/ yet you never lost sight of yourself, heart & mind working like a Swiss timepiece.

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  6. "rough painting skein, thick spine of bed" -- I like the sound of those words and the imagery you've invoked throughout. Lovely poem.

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  7. It intrigues me that you take us through a private space, blindfolded, with such beautiful intimacy. Gorgeous work.

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    1. It was a lovely exercise in writing ~ Thanks Beth ~

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  8. You have evoked this blind and intimate moment very vividly, Grace! Paradoxically, we can see you.

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    1. I like the paradox, Gabriella ~ Thanks ~

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  9. A sensual trip into the world.>KB

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  10. Wow, this is fantastic. I felt every word of this.

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  11. Some great images here .. particularly liked 'outside shuttered windows/winter wind whips & howls a thousand/bleating war songs' ,..... excellent piece

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    1. Well the wind was so loud last night & there's a heavy piece of ice draping our window ~ Thanks ~

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  12. Grace, this is "heavenly" writing...wonderfully sensual. In this kind of experience sight is easily eclipsed by the other senses, isn't it?

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    1. A challenge to use other senses but it was a good exercise ~ Thanks Victoria ~

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  13. Oh this is so, so moving, and reminds me of some of what I was feeling last year - loss. Beautiful work.

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  14. Yes, like Bjorn says: it seems as if you really were feeling your way through the room, taking in the textures and following a mental map. Clever writing.
    Odd that we both incorporate the scent of dead flowers. Not really a scent any longer, as it is tainted by decay. I couldn't find a suitable word for the aroma I had in mind. Cloying odour in a way.

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    1. There's actually a vase full of scented dead blooms ~ The exercise was a good way to stimulate my other senses ~ Thanks Hanna ~

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  15. Lovely, Grace... I especially like:

    outside shuttered windows
    winter wind whips & howls a thousand
    bleating war songs

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    1. Thanks Laurie ~ I was trying to capture the howling wind last night ~

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  16. This is beautiful Grace a wonderful exploration through the senses. Well done.

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  17. What an exquisitely textural composition - one feels as you touch - those things being the same as we grope across our own room with light out - feeling for edges thought to be round but now angular. You took me there!

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  18. Sometimes the noise and shapes and space make the absence of a certain presence and sound more visible. You do that here beautifully. I especially love the third stanza with its pure sensual input.

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  19. thousand bleating war songs...

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  20. ... a thousand bleating war songs... you so hit the nail on the head with this write

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  21. "what is round becomes angular & sharp" - I went blind in this stanza, and became fearful of that here:

    "outside shuttered windows
    winter wind whips & howls a thousand
    bleating war songs"

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  22. beautiful - I liked every word

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  23. my fingers trace the space
    like braille, their corners slant
    in secret language

    The beginning is classic, It sets the mood as one progresses further. There is the added mystery of like moving in the dark and touching! Often times shapes turned out to be different from the imagination when touched. Beautiful shot, Grace!

    Hank

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  24. WOW! This poem is a feast! I especially love "winter wind whips & howls a thousand
    bleating war songs" and then, inside, the quiet and the ticking...........wonderful writing, Grace! Loved it.

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  25. So rightly said Grace - that loneliness and the ticking of clock just takes over everything. Beautifully done.

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  26. a lovely poem full of senses that pull you in
    even if blindfolded you can find your way..

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  27. this is so wonderfully evocative

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  28. Brought to life everything that is around, as the senses can sure astound, all to finding your way to a brighter day

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  29. positively lovely. I like the wind stanza...the harsh loud winds...silenced by the emptiness of the room...really neat.

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  30. 'outside shuttered windows
    winter wind whips & howls a thousand
    bleating war songs' ~ my favorite...neat poem

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  31. Fabulous write! Love the textures woven with the sounds.

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  32. really lovely, Grace. perhaps the muse will find me again come the turn of spring... ~

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  33. You give great insight here and create empathy for the person lost, if you will.... great contrasts and visuals in our minds...if not hers

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  34. Lovely written, the imagery was wonderful ....

    peace and love
    1ManView

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  35. I commented and it didn't take. Amazing...Grace and not the song, I can't articulate very well, only to say I loved this and in awe of your words, thank you.

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  36. Wonderfully written - and I hear the clock too as it marks out the emptiness of time.
    Anna :o]

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  37. Sounds like waiting for your lover !

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  38. This brought to mind the times when I was unable to move from my bed because of a migraine. (long ago before meds were available) My other senses became heightened as I listened to the world outside. You really conveyed that here. Well done. As always, thank you! You are so inspiring. Have a beautiful weekend, my friend!

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  39. Beautiful! I need to try again...I love the knitting and war songs!

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  40. A really deft hand here, Grace, proceeding into the sanctum of love on the primary sense of touch. The small details take on such huge dimensions.

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  41. Wow, wow, and WOW! Masterful, beautiful.

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  42. A poem that picks me up and won't let me go until the very end! Who needs sight? (On the other hand, I love the graphic - which is a bit ironic!)

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  43. Amazing imagery you have painted with your words. Really enjoyed reading this piece.

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  44. I'm missing my centre right now, so this really hit me right in the heart - well done! So well and beautifully done.

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  45. How hauntingly sad, and of course, eloquently written.

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  46. very intense and evocative! Its been long I came here Grace and I am glad that I did not miss this

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~