After a few sips of red wine, you went for a tentative kiss on my lips. It was tender, soft, smell of fresh ink on brand new page. I twined my arms around your neck, and pressed for another kiss. No words were enough, and I was swept into your fiery embrace. There were no secrets I kept from you as I was an open book. Soon, you proposed with a diamond ring under the moonless night. I was thrilled by your passionate declarations, and marked this day, the day.
Under your persuasion, I threw out caution, and we went on road trips together. It was wild rebellion, goose-bumps intense like "us versus the world". The tides quickly turned deep & blood-thirsty. You became the enabler, that I was trying out things I have not done before - marathon drinks & drug-induced parties until the morning. The final sting came one midnight, when I had to be rushed to the hospital due to severe attacks from heady drug cocktails. What was in the shadows that nursed your shaking heart? Or was the darkness already in me, awaiting your touch ?
icy polar wind
snaps the twigs to white, deadly
still, color of my sky
Inspired by: "Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift."
― Mary Oliver
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Haibun Monday - Join us when the pub opens at 3pm EST.
This is splendid Grace.. love the narrative, and the lessons learned from the darkness handed. So much passion, and so many roads it might lead to.. and that darkness awaiting to be raised... The haiku is a splendid crown.. the deadly / still linebreak... wow.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bjorn ~ It is also very chilly right now & the sky is all white ~
DeleteSuch a difficult gift of darkness. Chilling beauty and raw emotion.
ReplyDeleteThank you Victoria ~
DeleteI used that same gift of darkness with my haibun, Grace. You ask a good question with your last line. Some people are just waiting for the opportunity to present itself.
ReplyDeleteI believe we all have that darkness inside; it's a matter of willing it to bloom or fade away ~ Thanks Gayle ~
Deleteyes, it is
DeleteMany of us I think like and identify with this quote. I can certainly identify with the crazy drug time. However, you wrote this with both sadness and truth and it doesn't sound like bravado - it sounds like recognition of that gift of darkness and the true lesson learned. The haiku is heartbreaking. Oh how it speaks to me! I think my answer to your final question is...a little of both. After years of opening that gift and then closing it, it truly is both in retrospect.
ReplyDeleteI agree, a little of both ~ There is an aspect of darkness inside us, and when we have learned our lesson, we would know how to deal with it ~ On hindsight, learning the gift of darkness makes us appreciate the light & all its beauty ~ Thanks Toni ~
DeleteCan sure take its toll and the darkness will try and win in the end, teaching as it tries.
ReplyDeleteSometimes what seems like a good gift shows its true colors as time goes on. But luckily sometimes lessons learned from the darkness are the BEST gifts of all! Thanks for the good prompt today, Grace.
ReplyDeleteSome are mighty good at persuasion, and the effects last for a long time, or always
ReplyDeleteWe all have our darkness, we just need a catalyst....
ReplyDeleteOr was the darkness already in me, awaiting your touch... nice twist there.
ReplyDelete"color of my sky" -- there is so much sting in this, and yet a glimmer of hope.
ReplyDeleteTrying to comment again: I particularly loved that sentiment that whatever is in us, good or bad, can be 'enabled' by a certain person. Or was the darkness already in me, awaiting your touch ? Eerie, dark and accurately, sensitively observed.
ReplyDeleteThere's an odd balance in darkness. We don't often see it until we're standing in light again.
ReplyDeleteThese perpetrators do enable the darkest parts of us but they were already there. Your description of this is amazing!
ReplyDeleteI think we all have darkness waiting within. This was enthralling to read.
ReplyDeleteWonderful! I will learn more about Haibun writing as I practice more. :-)
ReplyDeleteZQ
The questions at the end are hear trending. And the line break in the haiku is stellar.
ReplyDelete"It was tender, soft, smell of fresh ink on brand new page." A unique association which says so much about a new relationship. I, too, like the questions at the end, and the break in your haiku.
ReplyDeleteAnd worse of all the ones who never learn and never leave the darkness. Made me think of someone I once knew.
ReplyDeleteWell-written, Grace. I like the question at the end of your prose especially.
ReplyDeleteVery powerful and confronting Grace....loved the journey your took me on...
ReplyDeleteThis was hard to read. I knew someone, once a long time ago, who met here enabler, but she never made her way back.
ReplyDeletemadness in your blood,
ReplyDeleteyou know its me,
- you know what i want
For me at least..
ReplyDeletea Female Captain
of a Military
station.. she.. my
boss.. loaded me
down with more
and more work..
broke me
down..
in a two
year span..
finAlly
for 5 years
almost dead..
and now i am
Free.. a big wet
kiss is coming her
way if i ever see
that sea
witch
of dArk
to liGhTest
bliss aGain..;)
Oops.. forgot the
ReplyDeleteFredku..;)
Sea Witch then
no problems
now..:)