Saturday, 21 September 2013

Tanka poems: Succulent

let's steal the night
succulent as harvest moon
tinged orange flame 
the sky unfurls soft palette:  
lavender, still a blooming 


                                                        Picture credit:  Just a Picture


your verses tremble 
on my weathered lips-
rain, sweeter wine 
wets my tongue mellowed plum- 
flowers bloom beneath my skin 


~0~0~


morning rain 
drips from bamboo stick- 
what 's the colour of longing?
is it brown like autumn leaves? 
   Or ripe peach, fragrant of you?    




Posted for Imaginary Garden for Real Toads - Sunday's Challenge on Tanka form
and Marian's prompt:   Harvest Moon  ~  I welcome your critique & inputs on my writing ~

36 comments:

  1. These are lovely, Heaven. I'm especially drawn to:
    "what 's the colour of longing?"
    And I think it might just BE that morning rain dripping from bamboo stick. So descriptive.

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    1. Thank you De ~ I took inspiration from this morning rain ~

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  2. I think you attained that simplicity and quality of emotion very well in each tanka, Grace, and while the third is my favourite, I absolutely love the sensuality you convey in these 5 words: flowers bloom beneath my skin.

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    1. Tanka looks simple but its deceptively a challenging form ~ Thanks Kerry ~

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  3. Beautiful, Grace...I love reflecting on 'the colour of longing' in your last stanza!

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  4. "what's the color of longing?" I just love that line for it's one that stays with me.

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  5. those who steal the night, can't wake up in the morning....

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  6. nice...i like the second one...the verses trembling...sweet wine on the tongue..and as others have said the colour of longing...

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  7. liquid and smooth, Heaven... hope you have a good weekend ~ M

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  8. You are a whiz at this form, Grace! You achieve the elegant simplicity of tanka while conveying such strong emotion. Beautiful!

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  9. This triplet is poignant each in their own magical viewpoint. Lovely!

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  10. The color of longing great line indeed, wonder what one would truly take seed

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  11. Lovely-- I especially like the last. Thanks, grace. K. Of Manicddaily.

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  12. "unfurls soft palette: lavender"
    "plum flowers bloom ..."
    and more and more color! The brown and peach missing the purples ....

    How exquisite.

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  13. "your verses tremble on weathered lips" love that. Such beautiful writing!

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  14. this are really lovely.. i can't chose a favourite.. you paint the picture and emotions so well.. love it.

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  15. I absolutely love all three.. I read another article that tanka was written as a kind of thank you notes after a night with a lover... that's so obvious throughout.

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    1. Thank you for the additional note on tanka form Bjorn ~

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  16. I adore these so much Heaven, incredible as usual.

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  17. The first two are sensual and the third has a touch of melancholy ... beautiful imagery, perfect for tanka.

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  18. Your poems are quite like Picasso's drawings !

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  19. That last one is breathtaking!

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  20. Grace, now u can follow my art at https://www.facebook.com/ashokism.ashok

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  21. There is an ease, a natural sense of the erotic in your work, Grace. Lovely.

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  22. Grace, this is delicious, delightful haiku ...

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    1. SORRY, must have been thinking about Shay. Tanka, of course.

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  23. I love the idea of a stolen night!
    YOURS is sooo romantic!
    Very sensual :D

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  24. "What is the colour of longing?" What a fantastic turning line. All three are lovely and rich.

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  25. I liked how you transitioned in the poem, Grace. Very well done. As always, thank you!

    Have a beautiful week!!!

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  26. love this style, and you did it with skill

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Thanks for your visit and comments ~ I appreciate them ~