let's steal the night
succulent as harvest moon
tinged orange flame
the sky unfurls soft palette:
lavender, still a blooming
your verses tremble
on my weathered lips-
rain, sweeter wine
wets my tongue mellowed plum-
flowers bloom beneath my skin
~0~0~
morning rain
drips from bamboo stick-
what 's the colour of longing?
is it brown like autumn leaves?
Or ripe peach, fragrant of you?
Posted for Imaginary Garden for Real Toads - Sunday's Challenge on Tanka form
and Marian's prompt: Harvest Moon ~ I welcome your critique & inputs on my writing ~
These are lovely, Heaven. I'm especially drawn to:
ReplyDelete"what 's the colour of longing?"
And I think it might just BE that morning rain dripping from bamboo stick. So descriptive.
Thank you De ~ I took inspiration from this morning rain ~
DeleteI think you attained that simplicity and quality of emotion very well in each tanka, Grace, and while the third is my favourite, I absolutely love the sensuality you convey in these 5 words: flowers bloom beneath my skin.
ReplyDeleteTanka looks simple but its deceptively a challenging form ~ Thanks Kerry ~
DeleteBeautiful, Grace...I love reflecting on 'the colour of longing' in your last stanza!
ReplyDeleteThank you Mary ~
Delete"what's the color of longing?" I just love that line for it's one that stays with me.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kathryn ~
Deletethose who steal the night, can't wake up in the morning....
ReplyDeleteI like your perspective Dezzy ~
Deletenice...i like the second one...the verses trembling...sweet wine on the tongue..and as others have said the colour of longing...
ReplyDeleteThank you Brian ~
Deleteliquid and smooth, Heaven... hope you have a good weekend ~ M
ReplyDeleteYou are a whiz at this form, Grace! You achieve the elegant simplicity of tanka while conveying such strong emotion. Beautiful!
ReplyDeletenice, Grace! smoooooth.
ReplyDeleteThis triplet is poignant each in their own magical viewpoint. Lovely!
ReplyDeleteThe color of longing great line indeed, wonder what one would truly take seed
ReplyDeleteLovely-- I especially like the last. Thanks, grace. K. Of Manicddaily.
ReplyDelete"unfurls soft palette: lavender"
ReplyDelete"plum flowers bloom ..."
and more and more color! The brown and peach missing the purples ....
How exquisite.
"your verses tremble on weathered lips" love that. Such beautiful writing!
ReplyDeletethis are really lovely.. i can't chose a favourite.. you paint the picture and emotions so well.. love it.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love all three.. I read another article that tanka was written as a kind of thank you notes after a night with a lover... that's so obvious throughout.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the additional note on tanka form Bjorn ~
DeleteI adore these so much Heaven, incredible as usual.
ReplyDeleteYour poems are quite like Picasso's drawings !
ReplyDeleteThat last one is breathtaking!
ReplyDeleteGrace, now u can follow my art at https://www.facebook.com/ashokism.ashok
ReplyDeleteThere is an ease, a natural sense of the erotic in your work, Grace. Lovely.
ReplyDeleteGrace, this is delicious, delightful haiku ...
ReplyDeleteSORRY, must have been thinking about Shay. Tanka, of course.
DeleteI love the idea of a stolen night!
ReplyDeleteYOURS is sooo romantic!
Very sensual :D
"What is the colour of longing?" What a fantastic turning line. All three are lovely and rich.
ReplyDeleteI liked how you transitioned in the poem, Grace. Very well done. As always, thank you!
ReplyDeleteHave a beautiful week!!!
love this style, and you did it with skill
ReplyDeleteBreathtaking tankas!
ReplyDelete