-moonless night-
not a leaf nor limb
swayed in breeze
I heard you breathing at the window
-stained ink-
mug beside empty chair
and upturned book
At first the goodbye had a lilt to it—
maybe just a couple of months—
but it was a beheading
-sword slow motion-
crumbling inching-bit,
i wanted
quick death
Lines from Ghost Elephant by Jean Valentine
Posted for: Imaginary Garden with Real Toads - Hallow's Edge
and Poetry Jam: Choices
and Flash Fiction Friday - a post in 55 words - for the G-man
Wow this is insanely awesome Heaven. I love the sadness tinged with love that eventually fades as time goes by, it's such a beautiful piece of writing, the concept of being haunted by the ghost of a lover is an amazing one even if you look at the ghost as being symbolic, reading this has made my morning Heaven, all I can say is wow!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the lovely words and visit Matthew ~
DeleteHaunting... sad...beautiful. Wanting a quick death in separation but instead, suffering the agony of broken lover's heartache.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff Heaven.
Thank you Bren ~ Have a good week ~
Deleteyes!!!
ReplyDeletepowerfully dark! i absolutely love the words you've chosen to depict this wonderfully haunting moment. nice. very!
I love the picture too ~ Thank you ~
Deleteoy yeah, give it to me quick rather than slow....dont leave a bit of hope to haunt me....very nice grace, evocative....
ReplyDeleteYou always get what I'm trying to say Brian ~ Thank you for the support and encouragement ~
Deletewritten with last breath... or so it seems...
ReplyDeleteNot yet Dez ~ Thanks for the visit and treats at your show ~
DeleteYour quoted words fit seamlessly into the finished product - another wowzer from you, Heaven.
ReplyDeleteThank you Kerry ~
DeleteSweetly cruel-what a great mix.
ReplyDeleteThank you Anne ~
DeleteOoooooo, this oozes 'haunt.'
ReplyDeleteThe picture does the trick too ~ Thanks Helen ~
DeleteEwwwww!
ReplyDeleteBut in a good way
The transition from ghost to lover gone was like the window opening.
(((shiver)))
I used ghost as a metaphor rather than an actual one ~ Thanks for the visit Rick ~
DeleteIntense mood, perfectly portrayed. Great writing, kiddo.
ReplyDeleteThanks Sherry ~ Your real life ghost story was chilling too ~
DeleteLove that forever haunts the memory and the heart. Thank you, Heaven.
ReplyDeletewow...intense...well done!
ReplyDeleteA haunting and captivating write Heaven! :-)
ReplyDeletelopped right off! good one :)
ReplyDeleteText as swirling as the ghostly veil.
ReplyDeleteWow this is very intense and haunting to me. Excellent picture to go with it as well. Really sets a mood.
ReplyDeleteOh my. We really don't want that to be slow.
ReplyDeleteThis had such a Poe-ish feel to it Grace.
ReplyDeleteGreat post for the season.
The prodigal daughter has returned!
Loved your decapitaing 55
Thanks for playing, you are always a Classy Treat.
Have a Kick Ass Week-End
"Scary" good :-)
ReplyDeleteSpooky good, indeed! Like the image too.
ReplyDeleteWhew, a bit eerie....but then again it was just Halloween!! Thanks for taking part in Poetry Jam.
ReplyDeleteHaunting and sad are the worst goodbyes.
ReplyDeleteDark and haunting~ It had a breathless feel...the photo added so much~
ReplyDeleteYikes! Very creepy one (in a good way).
ReplyDeletehauntingly beautiful! that numb feeling only makes one think of ending his/her life ad soon, quickly!
ReplyDeleteweekend hugs xoxo
There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls.
ReplyDeleteAs spirits roam the neighborhoods at night,
Let loose upon the Earth till it be light...
Have a great weekend, stay warm and keep a song in your heart.
Best regards.
Lee.
i can think of a time or two when i felt like a quick death would be better than what i was actually facing. great poem, Heaven!
ReplyDeletethanks for participating at Poetry Jam!
♥
Wow nice piece! Up turned or overturned book ?-I viewed it splayed
ReplyDeleteover the the arm- and then had to stop and think...
Very dark and spooky atmosphere in this!
ReplyDeleteSometimes the slow endings are the most painful. Nice dual meanings here!
ReplyDeleteGreat take on the picture prompt. You wrote some stuff out of Criminal Minds and you truly rock this!! Great stuff, Heaven. Mine is here
ReplyDeleteHave you a TRULY BLESSED WEEK!!!
hugs
shakira
Wow. A bit late I am, but this still sends chills. Yes, sometimes a quick ending is best. Awesome write.
ReplyDelete