tangled in dry leaves
we reach for our words: rain
soft, moon painted night
of thousands origami
cranes, falling as stars: wholly
we reach for our words: rain
soft, moon painted night
of thousands origami
cranes, falling as stars: wholly
these delicate aches-
we cradle them as the sky
ignites a fireball
as summer days wane, melts red
rose petals like snow: pearled black
Poetry form: (Japanese) Tanka (5-7-5-7-7)
Posted for D'verse Poets Pub: OpenLinkNight - Thanks for the visit ~
Not a bad ache to have what so ever, hopefully all those cranes don't bury them
ReplyDeleteThe image of the 1000 origami cranes is so good in the first tanka,, and the aching of a waning summer in the second. I can really feel that one.
ReplyDeleteLove 'thousands of origami cranes' which evokes for me a wonderful image! Very nice tanka writing, Grace.
ReplyDeleteI love this Heaven, a nice little poem to make me feel energetic and uplifted.
ReplyDeleteSuch evocative imagery- the dry leaves to the origami to the melting petals - beautiful - K
ReplyDeleteLove those rose petals turning dark with black shadow as the summer day wanes; really wistful stanzas, yet hopeful & poetic; thanks for the soft breeze in my brain.
ReplyDeleteVery nicely done Grace.>KB
ReplyDeleteooooh, those cranes... lovely, grace!
ReplyDeleteLove the words and the artwork you chose to go with them. Very visual.
ReplyDeletei really like the first two lines, and the verses together are dreamlike ~
ReplyDeleteBoth are beautiful tankas. It is one of my favorite forms. The image of the cranes was the highlight. It was just adorable.
ReplyDeleteI read the two as one, delicately cradling the cranes as, thank God, they keep coming despite the distractions of summer, roses, petals, leaves, darkness and sun. Would one would catch, nurture, grow!
ReplyDeletejust loved the power in the last two lines
ReplyDeleteeven more I love the whole last stanza , especially the rose petals and Summer waning ...beautiful.
ReplyDeletethis (these) are just beautiful, poetry that is felt rather than read. (the very best kind...)
ReplyDeleteExquisite - delicate as a tea bowl, cherry blossoms, a calligraphy brush. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteah - autumn is approaching...and i like the delicate ache to describe the feel of wanting to hold and yet to have to let go - cause there's beauty in the letting go.. loved the origami
ReplyDeletecranes
It was a wonderful full moon last night with just a hint in the air of the cool that will eventually come to respite the humidity in Florida..what we look forward here is different I think than what those people who live a little north look forward to.. The cool is a relief but the light is always great! Those were lovely words thanks for bringing all those wonderful perceptions to me..Love ya light!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful images in this tanka pair...just makes me sigh..
ReplyDeleteI love the hinting yearning of both tankas.
ReplyDelete'moon painted night
ReplyDeleteof thousands origami
cranes, falling as stars..' - simply mesmerising, Grace....
sumptuous. love so much. wholly these delicate aches... reach for our words... and then the fireball thru the colors to pearled black, ah...
ReplyDeleteI do like all the weather and nature elements in the poem
ReplyDeleteoo very nice...particularly like the imagery of the second one...feeling a bit scorched today like those blacked rose petals...had bus duty out on the asphalt as well so i cooked....smiles....
ReplyDeleteBeautifully done Grace! I love the cranes
ReplyDeleteI too like the 'thousand origami cranes'. Very delicate image!
ReplyDeletelovely words Grace!
ReplyDeleteAs autumn sweeps into my world, "melts red" struck such a sensuous chord within me....
ReplyDeleteMarvelous images, you've left me with.
Very cool image & love the delicate ache!
ReplyDeleteoooooh...this is so good!
ReplyDeletesoft moon painted night..a lovely image..
ReplyDeleteThis is one of my favorites of yours, Grace, I'd say, because of the imagery.And I like your blog's new look.
ReplyDeletelove how you're playing with colors, carefully introducing leaves, petals,sky...and so melancholic fragile cranes...words as aches...
ReplyDeleteGrace how sublime are your words, as others have said the origami cranes, both tankas show desire and bring beautiful images - thank you (nice new look too btw)
ReplyDeleteYour use of enjambment adds a powerful twist to this piece, and your imagery is lovely, enticing. Nice work!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2013/08/19/when-you-dont-take-care-of-yourself-you-get-a-little-bitchy/
Exquisite in the way the sounds play on my ear and the images play in my mind. Awesome write.
ReplyDeleteGrace, gorgeous ! Love this.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful!
ReplyDeleteso beautiful, most perfect poem I've read in a while, thanks!!!!
ReplyDeleteGrace, this poem makes me sigh with the pure pleasure and beauty of it. That first stanza was so full of texture and images--loved the whole poem--melting red--wonderful:-)
ReplyDeleteStunning, Grace. I especially like:
ReplyDeleteas summer days wane, melts red
rose petals like snow: pearled black
Wow what strong imagery in this ~ a fantastic write. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteAh the visual of the origami crane, so lovely. The words of your tanka slip in, a poetic osmosis, and linger in the psyche. Beautiful.
ReplyDeletehope you won't have those delicate aches anymore!
ReplyDeleteas leaves blow
ReplyDeletetoo fast
he reaches for the moon
on a dark
summer night
You do know don't you that you have a very special way with love poetry. NOT EVERYONE can carry it off so well, so often. You are really good with this and I am not sure but I think that it is your subtlety. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteJust as you, your words are heaven. Great use of form and very expressive. Well written.
ReplyDeleteYour words are a spark of freshness and glade on with a touch of beauty.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for discovering me on wordpress :)
Always, there is magic in your images. The last two lines are especially stunning. :-)
ReplyDeleteDelicate as a rose, Grace. Very beautifully written.
ReplyDeletePamela