Thursday 19 March 2015

Our Sun


                                                         Flowing by Artist Gil Bruvel

We let silence
spark
into tension coils

As we firefly dance
Into a semi-circle
Our wings red-flustering

vacillating between
speaking what's on our minds
Or letting things go

Then you slump
bending your sorry face 
knotting your arms into mine

I ash stub any
lingering doubts away
Unribboning
myself
into softest threads

We let our music
shimmer
tattooing our skin bronze
melting
our metallic hearts to
drift with clouds

Finally we let words
fall
surge
quiver
as we sip rain deeply

from each other cup
Your lips sugaring mine
until
sated with forgiving love

We run
to greet the sun
flowering 
                 with wildest 
                                      colors



Posted for D'verse Poets Pub - Verb-ing Hosted by Victoria ~
and Poets United - Sun - Hosted by Susan

38 comments:

  1. Very beautiful. I love the progression of this poem, and especially love "unribboning myself into softest threads" and then the shimmering dance. That carving in the photo is incredible.

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  2. Unribboning
    myself
    into softest threads

    What an amazing image, Grace. Beautiful work.

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  3. Let the words fall and get to the fun stuff haha

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  4. Oh, this is just choke-full of perfect verbing examples, Grace. I started to highlight my favorites but realized it would be stupid to cut and paste the whole poem, so I'll choose just one:
    I ash stub any
    lingering doubts away
    Unribboning
    myself
    into softest threads

    Yummy.

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  5. melting
    our metallic hearts to
    drift with clouds... that is my fav part when the movement comes in... also the unribboning is very cool

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  6. what a wonderful way of showing forgiveness... gentle as always... bright as the sun

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  7. what a precious way to brighten up..."melting / our metallic hearts to / drift with clouds" my favorite lines...

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  8. So gracefully written
    the lines -
    'Unribboning
    myself
    into softest threads'
    are just gorgeous.

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  9. Beautiful and delicate verb usage, Grace. I like the idea of letting music shimmer and greeting the sun flowering with wildest colors....

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  10. this really matches the sculpture - are they yours ?

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    Replies
    1. Not mine Bill ~ I just admire the artist, thanks ~

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  11. Amazing use of imagery! Inspired!

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  12. I think all of us like the unribboning ourselves...what a gentle way to free ourselves! And shimmering dance.....so lovely. The sculpture and the words are lovely. Graceful, freeing....such lovely imagery. Hayes Spencer is Kanzensakura

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  13. beautiful, sensual, amazing, tender & tough, this one pulsates with love's glow, as you let us bask & learn from the dance of egos before genitalia. I like the same lines that Claudia chose, all about /metallic hearts/ melting.

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  14. I love fall surge quiver, I love quiver

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  15. Why is simple communication sometimes so difficult when we need to let it out? Beautiful flow and progression of thought.

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  16. Oh so many images here. I especially like how you have made the metallic soft into lustfilled love. Such a great comment on the image..

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  17. Oh so many images here. I especially like how you have made the metallic soft into lustfilled love. Such a great comment on the image..

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  18. The verb of forgiving.. is redeeming well.. the light of living a lamplit way.. of path in moving way.. to make mistakes.. is common.. and to forgive is a a blessing that makes.. common no more.. where love takes root.. in mistakes gone now...:)

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  19. Oh, how vibrant and witty it is! Love :)

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  20. how you play with words made this poem captivating. the last line is a precious stamp on what was going on with the poem.

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  21. i especially like: spark into tension coils and stub the lingering doubts.

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  22. Oh, this is Stellar--absolutely!!

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  23. Beautiful "firefly dance" what a great image to use. Brilliant poem!

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  24. A lovely flow of words Grace..this touched me some place inside..

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  25. Everything the ones before me said. For my part, I'm just wow-ed into speechless...
    Simply wow. Loved it.

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  26. Each stanza has a wonderful image/use of verbs, but I think my favorite is:

    I ash stub any
    lingering doubts away
    Unribboning
    myself
    into softest threads

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  27. Wonderful use of verbs. You make love come alive and move. I like how you inserted the sun in there too.

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  28. "unribboning" - Love that word! Lovely poem that is perfect for both prompts.

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  29. Oh, goodness...this is so utterly pure and loving...I love this,

    "Unribboning
    myself
    into softest threads"

    Beautiful work, Grace!!

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  30. "Finally we let words
    fall
    surge
    quiver
    as we sip rain deeply"

    Truly, I cannot imagine, a better way of using the prompt. Fell in love with your piece, again.

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  31. You excel yourelf — I think with every new poem. Can only say, you've done so again!

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  32. Your opening lines had me bracing for conflict and tension...and then you surprised me with reconciliation. Beautifully done.

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  33. Grace, you continue to outdo yourself..I especially love "your lips sugaring mine" and "knotting your arms into mine"!

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  34. So many images to adore in this piece...it all flows so wonderfully like a ribbon falling peacefully into place

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  35. let oneself unfurl.................happy world poetry day 21st march

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  36. sugaring mine... sinuous; this lingers, like a good kiss ~

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