tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post1577664531623008993..comments2023-10-02T16:21:04.111-04:00Comments on Scarlet Verses: More than yesterdayScarlethttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03330793338813508704noreply@blogger.comBlogger34125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-31370585355228303232011-08-16T14:23:41.985-04:002011-08-16T14:23:41.985-04:00A wonderful ghazal. To date, the ghazal is the mos...A wonderful ghazal. To date, the ghazal is the most difficult form I've ever attempted. You make it look simple while maintaining your romantic roots. Brilliant.Mike Patrickhttp://thepoetsquill.wordpress.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-30157480186331014722011-08-15T22:45:11.149-04:002011-08-15T22:45:11.149-04:00lovely and sweet... :)lovely and sweet... :)Nenihttp://purple-neni.blogspot.com/2011/08/melancholy-of-street.htmlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-35829576067456120212011-08-14T14:30:38.959-04:002011-08-14T14:30:38.959-04:00I enjoyed this quite alright/a good read/ and I li...I enjoyed this quite alright/a good read/ and I liked the look of yr site/thanx<br />& thanx for kind comments on my old blog<br />(a much more recent personal place for me is SPILLING SOME AT<br /><br />http://namelessneed.wordpress.com/<br />I'll be dropping backAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-89761698489212691312011-08-14T13:50:13.577-04:002011-08-14T13:50:13.577-04:00Your theme and execution of this type of poetry ar...Your theme and execution of this type of poetry are excellent!<br /><br />-HAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-83013671113144213812011-08-14T09:57:11.889-04:002011-08-14T09:57:11.889-04:00i love it all ... the theme, the form and the trea...i love it all ... the theme, the form and the treatment of it.Celestial Dreamzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11665499902779022498noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-20720469235285749382011-08-14T09:22:45.646-04:002011-08-14T09:22:45.646-04:00Beautiful! And I like the way you included your na...Beautiful! And I like the way you included your name at the end. :)Rosemary Nissen-Wadehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05913841031559499568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-33761074656394135272011-08-13T17:32:20.597-04:002011-08-13T17:32:20.597-04:00applauds loudly
This may be my favorite of yours....applauds loudly<br /><br />This may be my favorite of yours.Drenchxoxohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05835102768082256723noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-45833143804471208932011-08-13T01:38:56.082-04:002011-08-13T01:38:56.082-04:00Heavenly verses ... present love surpassing love r...Heavenly verses ... present love surpassing love remembered. Well done, Heaven!<br /><br />DavidAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-59306821548235906462011-08-13T00:29:44.578-04:002011-08-13T00:29:44.578-04:00I really like this...awesome.
The ending, perfect....I really like this...awesome.<br />The ending, perfect.<br /><br />☮ Siggi in Downeast Mainesiggiofmainehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12619003987159808104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-27596970316332339912011-08-12T21:53:15.702-04:002011-08-12T21:53:15.702-04:00My arms hold your peace as you sleep
More beautifu...My arms hold your peace as you sleep<br />More beautiful than yesterday<br /><br />And a lovely ending to a lilting and gentle poem.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-47313195668783495602011-08-12T21:29:06.420-04:002011-08-12T21:29:06.420-04:00Very touching and tranquil, I really enjoyed the c...Very touching and tranquil, I really enjoyed the closing stanza ~ RoseAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09988016086874324471noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-48154450762334502682011-08-12T21:26:02.065-04:002011-08-12T21:26:02.065-04:00Thank you everyone for your lovely comments. This...Thank you everyone for your lovely comments. This form was a challenge but it was fun learning it.Scarlethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03330793338813508704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-57228876512226243302011-08-12T20:59:15.976-04:002011-08-12T20:59:15.976-04:00I found this to be one of my favorite Ghazals I...I found this to be one of my favorite Ghazals I've read so far this week. Beautiful, and well done! :) Your effort paid off!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01547380098561803645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-26450459900128386932011-08-12T19:52:01.558-04:002011-08-12T19:52:01.558-04:00Ohh... lovely!! I really liked the way you have us...Ohh... lovely!! I really liked the way you have used your name in the last couplet... it read in both ways.. heave as paradise, and Heaven as you... very sweetly and neatly done!!!Kavitahttp://kavisionz.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-31845929792677547692011-08-12T18:22:29.180-04:002011-08-12T18:22:29.180-04:00To know and to see it only grow stronger...a wonde...To know and to see it only grow stronger...a wonderful write! Your work and research paid off beautifully.Tashtoohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15847190224960829574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-45588565796931701822011-08-12T11:54:56.656-04:002011-08-12T11:54:56.656-04:00Lovely, Heaven. I was drawn into the misty feel wi...Lovely, Heaven. I was drawn into the misty feel with the first couplet. You did a great job with this one.hedgewitchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13090696134322515899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-81591458715668357642011-08-12T11:42:10.738-04:002011-08-12T11:42:10.738-04:00Hi, my feedback is based on these five factors sta...Hi, my feedback is based on these five factors starting from a traditional perspective but also looking at modern developments. I draw on Agha Shahid Ali's, chapter from An Exaltation of forms (Ed Finch and Varnes). This is a poem of his based on the traditional rules. http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/172051<br /><br />1) Association<br />One of the key factors of the form - traditional or modern is that the couplets need to be based as it were on variations on a theme. And stand alone as the order should not matter. Mixing them works so well done as this is the hardest part.<br /><br />2) Theme<br />This is clearly about longing so falls well within the Ghazal range<br /><br />3) Couplets<br />You have done the minimum with no enjambment. Some enjambment occurs in the modern forms but as the exception in the poem rather then the norm. You have cleverly fitted the narrator/writer in the last couplet,<br /><br />4) Rhyme and refrain <br />In the classical tradition, the opening couplet would set the refrain and internal rhyme in the first and second line. Then in the rest of the couplets the refrain and internal rhyme would be on the second line. Here you have a refrain but no internal rhyme which is fine<br /><br />5) Metre<br />I don't think you have gone for a regular metre or beat count.<br />In short, it has classical Ghazal features but a modern use of the refrain. So well within the Ghazal range. It has a nice sensual feel to it.John (@bookdreamer)https://www.blogger.com/profile/11576434749272275190noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-76514982304507864212011-08-12T09:03:32.487-04:002011-08-12T09:03:32.487-04:00sensual, visual... i love it!sensual, visual... i love it!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-24318583766351810332011-08-12T09:01:09.233-04:002011-08-12T09:01:09.233-04:00I really like this Heaven! I can feeling the love ...I really like this Heaven! I can feeling the love in this one.<br /><br />Cheers<br />PadmavaniPadmavanihttp://www.myghostanchor.com/2011/08/longing.htmlnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-14244723484869147032011-08-12T08:01:25.914-04:002011-08-12T08:01:25.914-04:00A lovely poem Heaven.
Very clever the way you got ...A lovely poem Heaven.<br />Very clever the way you got your name in at the end.<br />A great read - thanks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-54700781737571312762011-08-12T07:19:08.725-04:002011-08-12T07:19:08.725-04:00Et Tu Brute?Et Tu Brute?G-Manhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14968807697181554781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-78171775192777905972011-08-12T06:40:05.629-04:002011-08-12T06:40:05.629-04:00Heaven - This is a really fine attempt to write th...Heaven - This is a really fine attempt to write this form. Beautiful. I'm here from the hop.<br /><br />P.S: I do a creative blog hop over the weekends - this would be a lovely addition, should you wish to link up<br /><br />http://wordsinsync.blogspot.com/2011/08/weekend-creation-blog-hop-plus-2-poems.html<br /><br />SHAH XShah Whartonhttp://wordsinsync.blogspot.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-86434167185040315992011-08-12T06:02:45.851-04:002011-08-12T06:02:45.851-04:00Heavens! you got it right! sensuously and provocat...Heavens! you got it right! sensuously and provocatively and it's all on yesterday. Great!kaykualahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03240206222973305395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-37077887206863900082011-08-12T05:12:51.303-04:002011-08-12T05:12:51.303-04:00beautiful when love becomes more and more intensiv...beautiful when love becomes more and more intensive and sweeter each day than the day before..a tender write heavenClaudiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03011763027311966186noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3925421712367848826.post-32474301057058717702011-08-12T00:17:24.891-04:002011-08-12T00:17:24.891-04:00Heaven, this is lovely and I loved you ended it!
V...Heaven, this is lovely and I loved you ended it!<br />Very, very nice!<br /><br />Margie :)Margiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14433759763753850718noreply@blogger.com